To ask what your bedtime routine with your partner/DH is like?

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

What do you do? Do you go to bed together regularly? Do you sit together in bed and read? Watch TV?

I used to stay up much later than DH and he hated it...he always wanted me to go at the same time, which I wouldn't have minded if he'd been reading or whatever but no...he just wanted company!

Anyway...years later now and it's different again. He walks the dog and I go to bed at about 11...then I go online till he comes back...then we go to sleep/cuddle whatever!

I'm happy with it but I do sometimes think I'd quite like to watch a film in bed...but he's very much disturbed by the idea and thinks the sofa is the place for that!

I go to bed first as up at 4:30 to sort out birds food,water and medication and to leave for work (start at 7 travel by train) . I'm off at weekends but still usually end up going to bed before him as I'm used to getting up early. He stays up late watching netflix as he does shift work and usually gets the late shifts or midday starts.

We never go to bed at the same time. I am a distance learning student and night owl so I stay up and study while it is quiet!

DH has got restless legs, so he's banned from coming to bed until I'm asleep first. That way I stand a fighting chance of getting a few hours sleep before he starts doing Riverdance in bed
We used to have separate rooms until middle DD came home. I really miss having my own space . We got on much better when we slept apart. I know he can't help it but there are times I feel decidely murderous towards him.

Not sure why going to bed at the same time is in any way controlling. We always go to bed at the same time, because we get up at the same time and both like to get about 8 hours' sleep. Pretty logical really, and pretty healthy to have regular sleep patterns. Neither of us is imposing it on the other in any way, it's just what we do. Both always read in bed too.

Exactly. I'd imagine that's the case for most couples as well, the majority of people work 9-5 hour jobs or even if one person stays home with the kids they'd be getting up with them around that time too (or there abouts) so it's natural to go to bed together because you get up at the same time most likely

roconnell because it's the only time we spend together during the week due to work and my MSc taking up my evenings. It's important because if we didn't we'd never get the chance to check in with each other and just chat. It'll probably be less important when time is less constrained in a year or so.

Oh you mean personally, that makes more sense :) I thought you meant generally for all couples it was important! Couldn't work out why lol

Some of these posts sound really lovely, eg being read to! OH goes up first, I'm watching something on demand or doing last minute chores. Never considered going to bed together might be important but reading back on these comments makes me think otherwise (eg cuddles and general chit chat). Unfortunately DH snores terribly so sleeps in separate room

Those who don’t go to bed at the same time, when do you have sex?

On the sofa after almost teenage dd has gone to bed or when she’s out with friends,

In the shower on a morning/night.

Bent over the dining room table.

Up against living room wall.

In bed is a rarity as dd room is next to ours and while she goes to bed early she doesnt sleep until 10, we both couldn’t relax knowing she’d be laid listening to bouncing movements on bed.

Sex doesn’t have to happen at night in bed. There’s nowt like a good rodgering bent over dining room table :)

I agree with pps who say it’s important to discuss the day etc, but I don’t agree it has to be in bed at night. We chat about day when we have dinner for eg. We can send general chatty texts throughout day if one of us is bored. If I have an important issue I can ring him at work.

We are able to do everything other pps have given as reasons for the importance going to bed at same time, at various points during the day or between 6pm-9/10 ish when he’s home from work.

I go up first and take make off etc while he locks up the house, does litter trays and empties the bin.

Then it's usually bed, put on a podcast, say 'see you on the other side' and I'm asleep in about 2 minutes.

This thread is fascinating, I love it!!

Urgh hope I never sit on your sofa / come for dinner haha

@graceyg you might not want to accept a lift in our car either

Really surprised at the number of posters with separate bedrooms too.
Personally would not contemplate that,

Just wait till you are desperate for a night's sleep.

I sleep every night. In the same bed as my husband thanks

I'm actually interested by the number of couples torn apart by snoring... wondering if it is just one if those things, or if solutions have been tried first. Snoring is a new problem and I can imagine using it as a reason to set up next door...

I've ve always thought it was a medical problem that was dealt with? Ditto restless legs!

Iborgia Not to make assumptions about people but I suspect it might be to do with the fact that one in four British adults is now obese.

Not overweight...but obese.

Mrskeats-I sleep every night. In the same bed as my husband thanks

Lucky you. Sadly I don't enjoy being kept awake for hours. I'm fairly sure i disturbed him too.

He walks the dog, as I take my medication and put my jimmies on,
He takes his clothes off, he shoos the dog onto his own bed. Light goes off.
He rolls in to bed faces one wall.
I face the other.
We might natter a bit until we fall asleep but generally we're asleep within 2 minutes.

Our bedrooms only use is sleeping.
We have a tv, books and lamps so it would make a nice chill out space!

we have desperate rooms and both get the best sleep we've ever had.

oops seperate not desperate

This has caused us arguments as DH wants to watch TV in bed where as I just want to go to bed and sleep.

We usually settle down to watch TV after the kids have gone to bed, most evenings we both fall asleep in the sofa to the news or a bit after

We then go to bed together, argue about the TV! (bickering more like) the compromise now is that he can watch TV but it can not be louder than 13, he can't watch any action stuff or any horrible audience laugh things. Documentaries are fine and even football I can easily fall asleep to

We usually go to bed at the same time, pay a couple of online solitaire or scrabble games then read for half an hour, have a quick cuddle (not sex) and off to sleep 😃

We have always slept in the same bed. The cats join us in the morning.

My OH stays up much later than me as he just can't sleep if it's any earlier, has now fallen into the habit of falling asleep downstairs, supposedly to 'give me a fighting chance at a few hours' as he can be twitchy in the night, in reality he just wants to stay up longer. I am not whiney or controlling about it, he's not a child and can go to bed when he likes. He also tends to get up earlier than me even on our rare days off together.

Having said that, it is an incredible lonely way to live with someone and it's only getting worse.

Pretty much around the same time then read/shag before going to sleep whenever we want to. Both read on iPad so no bed side lights to disturb the other.

Sometimes I go up earlier, I'm really suffering with periods at the moment and get absolutely exhausted when I have one so will go up about 7.30pm and DH comes up later

lila - why is it 'lonely' - presumably you want to go to bed earlier so you can sleep so surely it doesn't matter if your DH is with you or not?