Did I overreact? DD (3) a&e

[Doublemint]

Hi, had a bit of a morning today.

I went out last night and was promised a lie in by DH. He took our DDs downstairs.

I'm fairly sure he sticks on Netflix/a DVD and falls asleep on the sofa. We have stair gates to the kitchen and at the door way to where the stairs are, so although I'm not happy about him dozing when it's my lie in, it's such a rare occurrence that I've let it go. More fool me I guess. Plus he doesn't admit to it.

Anyway-
I woke up to hearing our three year old tumble from the top to the bottom of the stairs. I jumped out of bed (a bit hungover) and got to her at the bottom of the stairs before DH. Straight away I said this is an a&e job. A toddler falling all the way down the stairs and banging her head, is, for me a case for a&e. My mums a nurse so generally don't take my kids in unless they've got an arm hanging off or whatever, but I know that head injuries need checking out.

So DH said I was being paranoid and over reacting. He got quite grumpy/angry with me to be honest, but I wasn't bothered, DD is obviously the priority. I said if it was me or him who had fallen that far, or if we were babysitting, we would go in. He rolled his eyes and basically inferred I was being dramatic because I'm hungover. He then took his sweet time in the shower and got dressed. I just stuck DDs shoes on and a coat and said GO! He got shitty saying she needed to get dressed properly first. I just kept saying you need to go! More eye rolling. DD had gone quiet by now and was just sitting on the stairs resting her head on the wall. She got a huge bump on the side of her head and her wrist was hurting.

I did say that if you don't take your child to a&e when necessary then that's basically neglect. I also said that they would question why the fuck he had fanny'd around getting her dressed, getting himself ready; because who does that?!

So AIBU in insisting DH take DD to a&e?

YABU unless obvious injury / child blacked out - falling downstairs doesn't require A&E and is a waste of time for you/ dd and A&E.

No idea about the a&e side of things, but do people really supervise their 3yos every time they go up or down the stairs?!! We got rid of our stairgates at 3. A toddler, i'd be right behind at all times, but a potentially nearly 4yo?! No way is that a safeguarding issue, it's just an accident!

But how can you be sure child didn't black out even for few second, with 3 year old, when nobody was around?
And obvious injury, how can people see it if they were bleeding inside the skull? I hope you are not a doctor, ruths.

Please don't underestimate or trivialise head injuries.

I had a so-called 'minor' one two years ago, didn't get medical attention at the time, and ended up with post concussion syndrome for six months, a mental breakdown and other complications from medication. And I wished I'd been more concerned and seen someone who had taken me more seriously at the time.

When my daughter was about three months old, she fell off the sofa onto our living room carpet. After phoning 111, they advised us to take her to A&E to be checked out as she had fallen a distance that was greater than her body length. They immediately prioritised us upon arrival, and luckily nothing was wrong but there was no way I was leaving it to chance with my PFB. Life is far too precious not to take any type of head injuries seriously, and the awful symptoms they bring on.

Absolutely a&e. But you are a bit hysterical about lack of supervision. Your child is 3. Unless you live in a tree house they should be able to go up and down stairs unsupervised.

There are quite a lot of variables, so we can't really generalise. If OP has a straight, steep, hard flight of stairs then that would be different than a bendy, carpeted, not very steep flight. We are probably all imagining our own stairs. Therefore, we cannot adjudicate between OP and her DH on taking her.

An adult falling down would be more serious, greater weight and height. So let's stop using these pointless comparisons. Most toddlers would kind of slide down with the odd half roly poly, not spectacularly forward roll Hollywood-accidental-murder style. Similarly, most A&Es don't mind people coming in with kids head bumps, so not too bad to go in either.

I'm glad she's okay, take care and don't make this into a stick to beat DH with.

I'm getting a bit annoyed about A & E treatment of my children. Daughter with bleeding wound after being hit with a car, dismissed with "doesn't need stitches" her brother sent to A & E by school with a lump the size of an egg after a fall in the playground. Sat around in a & E for hours, doctor had a quick look said he was OK and sent him home.

So are children with a significant bumps to their heads supposed to get more attention than that or are people exaggerating.

That IS concerning, granny. Were you triaged? Was a history taken?

That's more or less what I'd expect to happen. I'm sure the "quick look" included an assessment for concussion and should have included some advice as to what to look out for but lumps the size of eggs are a pretty normal result of banging your head hard and are generally not an indication of serious injury.

Our stairs are relatively steep, straight and hard, but our 3yo can negotiate them perfectly well unsupervised. She knows to hold onto the bannister! Actually the only serious stair injury of someone I know happened on shallow carpeted ones. At least if they are visibly dangerous you know to take care.

Re the living in a tree house, I remember watching that human planet programme about a tribe that lived in treehouses 200 feet up. Their toddlers wandered around unsupervised at the top, with open sides to the sheer drop but presumably their parents were fairly confident that they wouldn't do anything stupid, as there didn't seem to be any plummeting toddlers! We underestimate how much sense small children can have.

I do have sympathy with @granny. Though I would definitely follow the advice to seek immediate attention if mine had gone unconscious for other bumps I've been and have only ever had simple obs done, then been told to take them home and keep an eye - including when my dd had dizziness and blurred vision, though there's no way i would have kept her home then. And in A and E after bedtime is no joke for a toddler. So for just a bump I haven't taken them in.

That IS concerning, granny. Were you triaged? Was a history taken? For DD we were blue lighted to hospital and paramedic handed her over. I had to point out the head injury, they didn't notice the blood. They just looked at it and said no stitches needed and didn't even clean the blood up. She was discharged by a doctor sitting at a desk and turning round and saying we could go. We were recalled a week later when her xrays were reviewed and they realised they had missed a fracture. Made a complaint about her treatment but doctor lied about what had happened and they said there was nothing they could do.

With DS teacher took him to hospital so don't know if he was triaged when he got there. Basically we sat around for a few hours, first in waiting room and then in a curtained cubicle, nurses popped in every now and then to ask if he was OK. Eventually a doctor came, examined the bump, asked how he was feeling, shone a torch in his eyes and said we could go.

Well I can't comment on your dd's treatment but your ds' sounds fine. They kept an eye on him to see if concussion developed then sent him home. What more do you think they should have done?

Well people on here have been saying they need a scan and to be kept in overnight. I actually wasn't expecting them to do anything until people started telling us what should be done and why it is important for them to go to hospital.

My DD's treatment was terrible, the follow up was terrible, the attitude when they told me they had missed a fracture was terrible.

Both my kids have had surgery at that hospital, as have I, and the treatment was great. My son's treatment with the bump didn't concern me, my daughter's treatment was way below acceptable.

Oh just thought we had no advice on what to look out for with son, with daughter the advice was "make her walk on that (broken) leg, she's making a fuss about nothing."

How was the child in the end? Assume OK but can't find an update.

YANBU
95% of the time the child will need no further treatment, but why take the risk to save a few hours of time?
I would always rather be safe than sorry.

I honestly don't think u overreacted, your DH needs to be more cautious rather than less!

I am glad your DD is ok, hope she enjoyed her happy meal.

Definitely not an overreaction to go to A&E... can't actually believe some of the comments on here from people who wouldn't have gone! When I was 7 I fell down the stairs - my parents didn't do anything (didnt want to make a fuss, no blood etc) until a few hours later when I collapsed and started fitting. They thought I was fine after the fall as there was no blood, didn't lose consciousness etc. Turned out I had a brain injury and spent the next few weeks in hospital vomiting and fitting. Even now I have to avoid anything that could bang my head, even lightly. So seriously, don't underestimate what damage could have been done - a patent is never 'wasting doctors time' if their child has been injured. That's what they are there for!!!!