Did I overreact? DD (3) a&e

[Doublemint]

Hi, had a bit of a morning today.

I went out last night and was promised a lie in by DH. He took our DDs downstairs.

I'm fairly sure he sticks on Netflix/a DVD and falls asleep on the sofa. We have stair gates to the kitchen and at the door way to where the stairs are, so although I'm not happy about him dozing when it's my lie in, it's such a rare occurrence that I've let it go. More fool me I guess. Plus he doesn't admit to it.

Anyway-
I woke up to hearing our three year old tumble from the top to the bottom of the stairs. I jumped out of bed (a bit hungover) and got to her at the bottom of the stairs before DH. Straight away I said this is an a&e job. A toddler falling all the way down the stairs and banging her head, is, for me a case for a&e. My mums a nurse so generally don't take my kids in unless they've got an arm hanging off or whatever, but I know that head injuries need checking out.

So DH said I was being paranoid and over reacting. He got quite grumpy/angry with me to be honest, but I wasn't bothered, DD is obviously the priority. I said if it was me or him who had fallen that far, or if we were babysitting, we would go in. He rolled his eyes and basically inferred I was being dramatic because I'm hungover. He then took his sweet time in the shower and got dressed. I just stuck DDs shoes on and a coat and said GO! He got shitty saying she needed to get dressed properly first. I just kept saying you need to go! More eye rolling. DD had gone quiet by now and was just sitting on the stairs resting her head on the wall. She got a huge bump on the side of her head and her wrist was hurting.

I did say that if you don't take your child to a&e when necessary then that's basically neglect. I also said that they would question why the fuck he had fanny'd around getting her dressed, getting himself ready; because who does that?!

So AIBU in insisting DH take DD to a&e?

Last time DS fell off the bed and bumped his head I called 999... It was a bump onto a corner unit and was the softer back of head. I realised it was a slight over reaction but he's 2 and scared of missing something major. 999 had the option of telling me to bugger off or do something different but agreed to send an ambulance out. I don't drive, he's none verbal so can't tell me how he feels / there is no way to measure change in speech etc. He is a clumsy monkey and I'm over paranoid. Its occurred to me that at some point SS might be like "erm hi, we need to visit" but better that than me calling 999 a day later because he's now unconscious with irreversible brain damage.
I do normally call 111 or go to minor incidents but was worried about something happening in the time it took me to call a cab, traffic, waitimg for triage etc

Sure amazing the differences in cultures. People talking about the hospital staff being concerned about neglect...crazy..Also see this mentioned all the time here with threads about kids missing school. Couldn’t imagine having my government involved so closely in my day to day business. Also the posters saying the husband might just be driving around? What type of trust do you guys have in your partners to even come up with that scenario. Anyways seems like a minor thing, wouldn’t even have thought about heading to hospital....Ct scans and mri?? Good luck!

I've been to the ER four times in the last year, with two out of three of my kids, ween. (Weirdly, I only ever went once with them as babies and toddlers, but since they hit the teen years it's as though they can't stay out of the place). On every occasion, the children have been asked about domestic violence/ abuse and/or neglect. The children.

There is a huge impetus to identify any suspicious or concerning 'accidents' in order to rule out family violence or neglect. And I'm not your usual kid-beater turning up in my trackies with beer stains. I'm your posh short. We're just as likely to push them down the stairs as anyone else.
Where do you live that has such a carefree attitude to child abuse and neglect?

You called an ambulance because our child fell off the bed? Why not get a cab? Oh I see, to jump the queue. Nice.

I live in Canada. I couldn’t imagine the doctor or anybody even bringing up the idea of abuse in any of the scenarios you bring up. If they did I couldn’t imagine many people here taking to kindly to that disrespect. I wouldn’t consider this a carefree attitude, more along the lines of respect and common sense.

Toddler - you should have driven or taken a cab to a and e if your son was not displaying anything wrong with him at that time. I sincerely hope the karma of you wasting precious nhs resources comes back on you - when you are waiting 2 hours for urgent care for a heart attack or like because the crew are off elsewhere dealing with a minor fall

@madwoman1ntheatt1c it's the same in Australia though. You don't get into trouble for having your kids out of school for illness or social workers turning up because someone made a phone call. It would take a lot for someone to check up on you.

Rainbowandraindrops67 I didbt get a cab because I was crying huaterically down the phone to 999 and scared that in the tine it took to call a cab, get stuck in traffic., etc that something awful would happen. Given my child has additional needs and is none verbal I couldn't answer any of the questions they asked about changes in speech, sight etc. If the controller, to whom I was polite but very distressed, had said you need to get a cab in, then I would have. Instead she offered to send out an ambulance in the agreement that i called if he got worse. But yeah, lets hope I die waiting for an ambulance one day with a heart attack or bleeding out in thevsteeet like I deserve.
I did realise I had over reacted by the time they got there, and apologized to them. I had imagined him suddenly going limp in my arms or having a massive seizure stuff in the middle of traffic (either local hospital has a traffic black hole between me and them). They reassured me it was fine (not saying they weren't ) but also not convinced they hoped I died soon

Reppin on fairly certain a hysterical mother with a screaming child would get seen fairly quickly in our urgent care / a&e. They will generally whip kiddies in for a quick assessment. However the idea that he would suffer a huge seizure from the blow to his head and die stuck in traffic made me panic. It was a heavy fall from bouncing on the bed onto the corner of the cupboard on the back of his head and i really thought something terrible would happen. Normally we would hop on the bus or in a taxi and head in if he had an accident

She lost consciousness and you didn't take her to A&E

When did trotting off to hospital for a brief loss of consciousness become a thing? It never happened to us when we were kids. My mum (ex nurse) didn't even bother taking me when she knew I had concussion, just checked on me regularly (and it happened at school - they just took me home, even though I'd been knocked out).

I don't recall any children dying of untreated head injuries.

Loving the people that feel the need to say how their DC had a much worse accident and that they didn't go to A&E.

I don't recall any children dying of untreated head injuries
Rational words

^if its a serious head injury their could be bleeding on the brain. He could lose consciousness. He could have a massive seizure. Seizures - what of he swallows his tongue and suffocates in a traffic jam on the way to the hospital? What if I give him a cuddle and leave it and its a slow brain bleed causing catastrophic damage?^
Hysterical thoughts of someone who has seen he child on a ventilator too many times

What are these minor injuries units? I'm in London but pretty sure we don't have these

They are fantastic: local centres, based in community hospitals, that deal with exactly that. They're staffed by nurse-practitioners with A&E experience and can deal with anything like cuts, sprains, simple fractures, foreign bodies in orifices etc.

Ours is open 08.00-21.00 and saves a 20-mile round trip and min 4-hour wait in A&E. They also have a radiographer there 9-5, so you can have x-rays done locally and checked by a consultant in A&E without having to trek over there.

Being accident-prone, I've practically got my own chair in ours. The only time they had to refer me to A&E was when I had a Colles fracture that needed reducing before it could be plastered. It's very near my house, and they've joked about putting a gate in the rear perimeter so that I don't have to walk all the way round.

We only have 2 A&Es in the whole county, and another 2 a few miles across the border. There's a minor injuries unit about every 12-15 miles. They save loads of A&E time.

They save loads of patient time, too. My ex had an accident at work (huge splinter of wood went through his hand and out the other side). He drove 30 miles to our local unit rather than go to the A&E nearby, and was back indoors all sorted in just over an hour, including the 30 mile drive.

We do have an urgent care centre which says it is to treat all the things you mention but it's based in A and E. They have the same reception (under a sign that says "Emergency Centre,") and same triage. As a patient you don't see any difference between the two.

And ffs at all the people scoffing at people going to A and E after their kid has been unconscious despite the very clear NHS guidance that you should

Ours is adjacent to the hospital so you get sent over with a note from a&e. Wait times can still be awful but its a less stressed environment as less people screaming in agony and bleeding and obviously for those needing a&e its better as its less full of people woth minor injuries and running around comparatively fit and well. Views similar resources are split across the two so not sure it speeds but it does sort

It's just interesting that what sounds like the one time in forever the OP has a hangover and tries to lie in

The one time in forever? Other than the time she went out in September?

Get a grip.

I don't recall any children dying of untreated head injuries.

I'm sorry, but I'm a paediatric nurse and will happily see a child who has had a head injury resulting in loss of consciousness, it is not over the top. And your statement is untrue, you've only got to sit and read serious case reviews to realise plenty of children have died from untreated head injuries

One thing that has shaped my attitude to such incidents is the school 'bumped head' notes. All three of the children I looked after would come home with these - presumably as the result of playground collisions. Schools are mostly quite vigilant and aware of risks. And their standard policy is to keep a closer than usual eye on someone who has hurt their head. They don't routinely ring parents and advise them to take their children to A&E.

I suppose I do think that while a degree of vigilance is good, that hyper-vigilance can also harm children because anxiety is contagious and it is good to let children have a bit of freedom and encourage them to explore the world.

Unless there was a huge bump or other obvious signs of injury I probably wouldn't have gone to a&e no. I may have called 111 and asked for her to be checked over if I knew she'd bumped her head. It's quicker for us as a&e is a good 30mins away and ooh is the 10 mins.

I don't recall any children dying of untreated head injuries

I do. If I asked all my colleagues I reckon we would come up with about two a week. Now that's a result of our specialism, but please, please do not trivialise head injury.

Anna I'm pretty sure if a pupil fell down an entire flight of stairs at school and had a visible head injury they'd be at the hospital pronto. I fell down a flight of stairs at secondary school and they insisted I went to the hospital.

I think I would ring 111 to ask advice at least if my child had a major head bump.

It's not the height you have to consider but the landing, how fast they fell and what they fell into.

Friends kid fell over in the playground once and had a massive bump on temple area bigger than 5cm and she got taken to hospital in an ambulance pronto. She was showing symptoms of a head injury but turned out to be fine.

Another kid at kids school walked into a metal pole (quite literally) and seemed fine, he cried for ten minutes then got up and tried to play again. One of the staff members rang an ambulance anyway due to the impact being quite heavy and although the child was walking around seemingly quite happy he in fact had cracked some bone in his skull.

I've also rang an ambulance myself when a friends three year old ran into the sharp corner of a solid wooden table at a very high speed and seemed woozy And unresponsive after. I don't see this as a waste of time. She hit her temple as well.

"I don't recall any children dying of untreated head injuries"

I had one in my primary. The boy bumped his head and never taken to hospital to check, died next day. It was very traumatic for me, one of the reason I took my 6 months old ds to A&E after he fell off the bed and bumped his head.

Problem with head injury is that you can't really see what's happening inside. I would rather be "that parent" and annoy drs and nurses, than risk danger of unknown damage to my child.