My partner is a sanctimonious knob. Discuss.

[Effemelle]

DP never does any housework. Ever.

Yes he’s the higher earner and does all the gardening and DIY and house insurance and car insurance, etc, etc. But he has never lifted a finger to clean inside our house. Maybe he did the hoovering once, if my memory serves.

He’s obsessed with the idea that chemicals in cleaning products alter our dna and are going to give us all cancer. Whenever he sees me cleaning with cleaning spray he gives me a patronising lecture about how I shouldn’t be using that, blah blah blah. He works in a scientific field and reckons he’s read research papers on it.

Tonight he saw me spraying cleaning spray on the hob, because it was dirty, because I’d cooked fucking dinner for everyone like I do every fucking night and was cleaning up on my own like I do every fucking night. (Dirty dishes left on top of the dishwasher anyone?)

I got the usual lecture about chemical sprays and joe I sprayed the hob and residue went all over the cooking utensils on the counter top and I’m going to poison us all, etc.

I just lost the plot. Who the fuck does he think he is? My dad? I’m so, so angry with his supercilious toss and even more so that he talked to me like that in front of the kids.

Im upstairs in bed. Like, super angry. More angry than I’ve ever been over the ‘chemical lextures’. He thinks I’m being unreasonable. I think if he ever touched the kitchen to do anything other than eat food other people have prepared for him in it, maybe he’d have a right to say something.

I’m so pissed if I feel like throwing something. AIBU?

I’d of sprayed it in his face 🙊

Hang on. I earn more than DH. Does this mean I get to do bugger all around the house?

Absolutely! And you get to talk to him like he is learning disabled and you are ablelist, too. You missed that memo? I thought it came with the birth certificates?

Whenever I suggest a better way of doing something to him, he takes it on board and follows my advice.

Suggest he do some cleaning and create some home made cleaning solutions, lots of suggestions for natural cleaning products.

Oh for fuck’s sake, all this stuff about spraying people in the face is just ridiculous. It’s not funny and it’s not clever, and no, you wouldn’t “of” done it because it’s assault. If a man suggested doing it to a woman or a woman suggested doing it to a child, everyone would be screeching “LTB” or “call 101”.

I wouldn`t clean again if I was told off for cleaning. What is the worst that could happen if you 'downed tools'?

Have a look at Melissa Maker’s youtube videos on chemical free (and very cheap) cleaning methods. However, the other issue is him speaking to you in a patronising tone in front of the children and never lifting a finger to help. Does he really want them to grow up thinking women are slave labour who can be spoken down to? When you’re less angry it would be worth speaking to him about both his attitude towards you and his failure to help around the house. He should b3 feeling pretty sheepish about both.

He can't be much of a scientist if he complains you'r eusing 'chemicals'. Everything on earth is made up of chemicals. Even Gwyneth Paltrow.

What does he think his clothes are washed in?

I’d be doing bugger all for him in the future and telling him that I’d not be endangering him in the future and he can sort his own shit out

Doesn't want to be 'poisoned' by the cleaning products but will still eat the food you prepare where the products are used..... what an ass!

Take before pics from when you clean, then after. Do for a week.

Then tell him it's his week to clean everything with, as he suggests, Just soapy water. Take before and after pics. Then see which method works best!!

Worst case scenario - he'll have actually done SOMETHING for a week!!!

I will say that I got the 'you interfere, you volunteer ' rule off Mumsnet, (obviously.. )

I don't know who posted it originally, but by George it works!

I know this is slightly missing the point but the Ecover Oven & Hob cleaner is more effective (and nicer smelling) than any other hob cleaner I've tried. Bitch to get hold of though, no supermarket seems to sell it. Method floor cleaner is good too.

I’d light up a cigarette (I don’t smoke) and pour a large red wine whilst having some mouldy cheese, just to piss him off as I’m soooo mature. And I’d leave the cleaning too. A bit of muck helps our immune system and all that... my way or the highway in this house when I’m left to do everything.
And yes I would also throw things. I’m feeling moody on your behalf!!

Two separate issues here.
He is correct about the cleaning spray, the spray doesn't just go on the dirty surface you are cleaning, it also end's up in the air you breathe, not good.
I use bio washing up powder on the cooking hob, rub in with a damp cloth, works a treat and no spray in the air to breath in.
As for cleaning etc, you really must talk about it as its clearly not on that he doesn't do his share.

Maybe he has a point re using sprays? I don't as I don't wish to inhale the spray, I use hot soapy water or cream cleaner for hob. Meet him halfway.

He's right about the chemicals, there's so much shit in cleaning products beauty products, our food etc the list goes on, however you can't live your life worrying about every little thing you do.
But I am bored of hearing women like you moaning about their other halves, if you're unhappy so much do something about it instead of ranting on Mumsnet.

But I am bored of hearing women like you moaning about their other halves, if you're unhappy so much do something about it instead of ranting on Mumsnet

The "ranting" as you style it is quite reasonable venting on the part of this OP, and has resulted in a number of helpful suggestions. It's also an "as well as" not just an "instead of". If you're so bored, why don't you do something about it instead of ranting on here, like start an interesting thread?

But I am bored of hearing women like you moaning about their other halves, if you're unhappy so much do something about it instead of ranting on Mumsnet.

Well the thread title did rather give a clue as to the content of the thread. Curious as to why you clicked on it and read it if it's so boring to you?

If you don't think he does his fair share then you should complain about that. I think he has a point about the sprays though and the fact that you do all the cleaning because he does other things doesn't mean that he doesn't have the right to say anything about it.

If you're so bored then don't read the thread, you certainly have nothing intelligent to contribute

Time to go on strike and start using hand sanitiser air purifier and anti bacterial wipes on all his stuff. I'm sure he'd not like flu, pink eye, infections and salmonella. Just ignore him you are a grown woman and can do whatever the hell you want.Start picking him up on all his bad habits.

Nikki, if you are bored of it then why bother opening the thread? Seems pointless to me.

Pleaseeee do not do any more cleaning and see how he gets on with soap and water

😂🤣😂🤣😂

Sorry, my first post on here & it goes wrong 😳 Didn't mean to reply to your post with smiley faces, they were in response to the post about Cilit bang. Btw, I agree your partner has no right to be so critical of your cleaning when he does zero himself but I do agree that we do use too many chemicals in our day to day lives.