My partner is a sanctimonious knob. Discuss.

[Effemelle]

DP never does any housework. Ever.

Yes he’s the higher earner and does all the gardening and DIY and house insurance and car insurance, etc, etc. But he has never lifted a finger to clean inside our house. Maybe he did the hoovering once, if my memory serves.

He’s obsessed with the idea that chemicals in cleaning products alter our dna and are going to give us all cancer. Whenever he sees me cleaning with cleaning spray he gives me a patronising lecture about how I shouldn’t be using that, blah blah blah. He works in a scientific field and reckons he’s read research papers on it.

Tonight he saw me spraying cleaning spray on the hob, because it was dirty, because I’d cooked fucking dinner for everyone like I do every fucking night and was cleaning up on my own like I do every fucking night. (Dirty dishes left on top of the dishwasher anyone?)

I got the usual lecture about chemical sprays and joe I sprayed the hob and residue went all over the cooking utensils on the counter top and I’m going to poison us all, etc.

I just lost the plot. Who the fuck does he think he is? My dad? I’m so, so angry with his supercilious toss and even more so that he talked to me like that in front of the kids.

Im upstairs in bed. Like, super angry. More angry than I’ve ever been over the ‘chemical lextures’. He thinks I’m being unreasonable. I think if he ever touched the kitchen to do anything other than eat food other people have prepared for him in it, maybe he’d have a right to say something.

I’m so pissed if I feel like throwing something. AIBU?

With us it is not fruit and veg related but heating controls, and the status of curtaims, blinds, doors - I prefer open, him closed. Hostilities often break out.

Ekphrasis Why are microfibre cloths bad for the environment? They get washed and re-used, rather than chucked into landfill like kitchen towel or wipes would.

Microfibre cloths aren’t biodegradable.

NightSky

Most microfiber cloths are made of polyester, polyamide or other polymers such as nylon. These compounds are derived mainly from crude oil or coal. Aside from the environmental issues associated with creating these plastics, burning of materials such as nylon can produce toxic smoke.

Additionally, these materials aren’t readily degradable and will be with us for some time to come.

As for recycling, while polyester and nylon can be “recycled” or more accurately, downcycled, a mix of different fibers in a microfiber cloth would see it being unsuitable for recycling.

I’d hazard a guess that if you put one of these cloths in with your recycling, it would be thrown out at the point of sorting and head to landfill.

Copied from a Green Living site.

I think with any non biodegradable fibre, tiny pieces of fibre slowly break off and go into the water system. I think the issue is that plankton etc are ingesting them, and then other creatures eat them.

I’ve only just become aware of it and commit claim to have no nonbiodegradable fibres.

*cannot

Wow.. that is interesting re the microfibre cloths. So kitchen towel and wipes are better then. Who'd have thought it.

Sounds like he has OCD

Sounds like he is eiher winding you up or has quite bad mental health issues and is delusional. Would he go to the G.P for a mental health assessment?

Absolutely brilliant! Spray him in the eye with a spurt of detox and lick yourself in the loo. What a pain in the hole.

Lock not lick. If you licked you could be poisoned by said chemicals.

Aw I feel for you. Because my husband is the higher earner he thinks that excuses him from everything - childcare, cleaning, cooking, laundry. I even do all our bills and his company accounts.

And so I get just a tiny bit pissed off (could kill the fucker) when he can't be arsed to or his shoes away or expects a huge fucking gold star because he 'emptied the dishwasher for me'.

I'd compeletely understand if I was a stay at home mum but I'm not, im self-employed and trying to grow my business.

I think men in their late thirties, forties and early fifties are still stuck in the mentality that a 'woman's job is in the house'.

I'm planning on having the last laugh when we retire and I fuck off round the world leaving him to make his own dinner and iron his own shirts etc.

I use method cleaning products. You can drink them at a push. How would your husband feel about that?

I'm glad I'm a single Mum. Most of them aren't worth the hassle!! :-)

I use method cleaning products. You can drink them at a push. How would your husband feel about that?

I mean, I agree he's being an absolute twat, but I think suggesting he drinks cleaning products is excessive.

Stop cooking for him. What a tosser he is.

Annoying twit.

I'd spray his bed with it.

So tempting to say tell him to do it himself - but he won’t will he ? You are far from being alone - despite the fact that we hold down jobs and do 80% of everything else wives get patronised. And - as you say- in front of our children . I am not surprised that men behave like this - it’s probably fun.

I do the whole vinegar, baking soda etc thing. So does my husband.

What about getting a cleaner - let them clean with the eco products and pay him/her out of his salary - sorted!

Hang on. I earn more than DH. Does this mean I get to do bugger all around the house?

Get a steam cleaner, you only need water

How the hell are you still living with the dipstick?!

Buy some ecover (or similar) washing up liquid and tell him you cooked so he washes up. End of. Same for cleaning the house, get some environmentally friendly cleaner and tell him it’s his turn- you’ll complete his DIY and gardening list this week instead.
Why are you putting up with

It's not just the substance of what he is saying - it's the mansplaining arrogance of it all. Sounds like he enjoys being all academic and superior about it. I may have read this wrong but I'd be seriously thinking about how much he had any respect for me