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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have bought DD a Krispy Kreme?

238 replies

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 17:45

I've been really ill the last few weeks; middle ear infections in both ears, and on Thursday and Friday both ear drums perforated thanks to the infection. I've been in absolute agony and have lost the majority of my hearing.

DH could only take a few days off work when I was really suffering because it's the busiest time of year for his company. But DD has been so good; eating all her food without fuss, playing or watching TV quietly while I snoozed on the sofa when I had no energy, helping me feed the cat by putting the bowl of food that I've filled on the floor as at one point bending down like that made me lightheaded, she's put her toys away without having to be asked repeatedly etc you get the picture.

She's only 2 and a half, and has really really impressed me with her behaviour. I've still got only about a quarter on my hearing (50% in right in, 5% in my left - just a rough guess), but we went shopping today to finish the rest of the Christmas shopping - she has a few extra needs, but didn't play up once; when walking she stayed nearby holding my hand or the pushchair where it was really busy and got into her pushchair without a fuss when I asked her too.

We passed a Krispy Kreme stall on our way in and DD was happy just to look and say "wow". So I bought her one as an extra special treat and told her why - because she's been so well behaved over the last few weeks when mummys been ill and she was well behaved that day. I took a photo to put on Facebook. She chose it herself - a ring donut with milk chocolate glaze and white chocolate sprinkles. It was quite expensive for a donut at £2 something but she deserved it, she even managed until we got home and had had her tea before asking for it.

A friend said it was an awful thing to give a 2 year old they contain a lot of sugar and it'll rot her teeth. She said I'd have been better getting her some normal sweets or a small chocolate bar. I'm usually pretty strict on sugar, she's only allowed water or milk to drink unless we're at my mums or PILs where she's allowed squash. She's allowed sweets and chocolate but I try and limit it to a few times a week and even then it's only something small like a fudge bar or half a kinder egg. I make sure she brushes her teeth in the morning when she gets up and also before she goes to bed at night (apart from the odd time she's fallen asleep in the car and been carried in asleep) and the dentist never has a problem with her teeth when we go. The friend knows this.

But I'm doubting myself, possibly because I'm still taking painkillers every 4 hours and still on quite strong antibiotics to clear the infection which is still lingering. I just wanted DD to know that her good behaviour had been noticed.

So WIBU to buy the donut for a 2 year old?

OP posts:
Erica891 · 26/11/2017 10:01

how can donuts hurt a child? Let your dc enjoy this little things. don't mind your friend. :)

Shouldnotwouldnot · 26/11/2017 11:03

Still shocked at Nursery giving Haribo to 2 year olds. If nothing else gummy sweets at that age are a major choking hazard. And 30 birthdays a year mean this is at least 30 weeks in the year PLUS all the other occasions you talk about.

I have a 2.5 year old and I’m really not some super health freak but she’s never had Haribo or other sweets like that let alone a few times a week!

Rinoachicken · 26/11/2017 11:08

Donuts are supposed to be a nice occasional treat. Your bought your daughter a nice occasional treat. Job done!

Don’t sweat it and I hope you feel better soon Flowers

Ruffian · 26/11/2017 13:43

She knew it was food even when she saw it in the shopping centre, she's got extra needs but she isn't stupid.

I assume that was aimed at me after my comment that her face probably 'lit up' at the sight of the donut because it looked pretty. Have you never heard the expression 'you eat with your eyes first'?

Kids are highly susceptible to marketing of food by making it look pretty or cute, animal-shaped, brightly coloured etc. I have seen KK styled toys and fridge magnets. If kids were given all the foods they were attracted to visually they would all be the size of a house!

Btw, it's very sensible of this friend to check the sugar content of a granola bar - a lot of the foods pushed as healthy alternatives have got a ton of sugar in them as well.

tinysparklyshoes · 26/11/2017 14:34

Putting it on FB is inviting comments, so don't complain when you get some. You don't want peoples opinions, don't broadcast such minutiae to everyone.

ItsNeverEndingIsIt · 26/11/2017 17:26

I think that she’s your DC and if you want to reward her however you see fit then so be it.
Everyone is way too involved in how other people parent - not one of us is the “perfect parent”
I allowed my 2 and a half year old to have McDonald’s once! Shock horror! Shoot me!
As you said; you thought she had been well behaved and you decided a doughnut was a reasonable choice of a reward. End of.

I hope she ate it all and really enjoyed it too!

beaubeau11 · 26/11/2017 17:30

People who comment on other people's parenting really piss me off, you don't have to justify yourself.

I had a severe ear infection,so I sympathise with you,hope your better soon. Xx

Maireadplastic · 26/11/2017 17:36

When Krispy Kremes first came here, we queued up outside Harrods for them (Canadian husband insisted). I don't really have a sweet tooth but they are bloody good.

BunsyGirl · 26/11/2017 17:50

OP I am wondering whether your friend is someone that I know. This person was a member of ante natal group of friends that we no longer see as everyone got so pissed off with her attitude towards sugar and sweet treats. At birthday parties, she would take the sweets out of pass the parcel parcels and swap them for something she thought was appropriate. A couple of friends had a massive argument with her when she told them that they couldn’t order ice cream for their kids in a restaurant because her kids weren’t allowed it!!!

HeatherWeather · 26/11/2017 17:52

Of course you weren’t BU. Your friend was by being a twat!

Hope you’re feeling much better soon Flowers

beaubeau11 · 26/11/2017 17:53

Her kids will be deprived off sugar so much that when there older they will
Probably be greedy for it...

bluelampshade · 26/11/2017 17:54

DD deserved her donut!!!

Carriecakes80 · 26/11/2017 17:55

I think food can be fine as a treat or even a reward now and again, its when its constant that the problems arise!

My brother was always rewarded with celery lol, it was his favourite (wierd kid...sorry bruv!)
Anyways, No of course YWNBU at all! Your little lass sounds like a delight, and she deserved her sugary treat! If you gave her them every day, yes, bad. But a once in a while treat is not a problem at all. Your mate sounds like a twat...block her lol. x

gillybeanz · 26/11/2017 17:56

YABU for posting it on fb, I hate it when people do this.
i couldn't have rewarded ours for behaving normally when I was ill or they'd get used to it.
Nothing wrong with the donut, except the price, but it was a treat.

FlakeBook · 26/11/2017 17:57

Your friend is an arse.

You have every right to give your dd whatever you like and to post whatever you like on Facebook.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 26/11/2017 17:59

Ywnbu to buy it or post it to th. Friend is a sanctimonious dick.
Get well soon.

HeatherWeather · 26/11/2017 18:03

And there’s nothing wrong with posting this on fb.

From now on anything relating to sugar, post your status as ‘friend except knobby’ you can change who sees your posts.

Bet she was the only one.

Tinysarah1985 · 26/11/2017 18:03

Oh for goodness sake it’s a donut! Your daughter had been good all week and you wanted to reward her, what is wrong with that?

HeatherWeather · 26/11/2017 18:06

I could just eat a KK now Grin

Alwaysstressed999 · 26/11/2017 18:07

Your little girl sounds amazing! YANBU!! Your friend sounds like she has a broomstick in a place it shouldn't be 🤣 Also don't understand why someone said you're being unreasonable for posting on FB!! That is what its for! Hope you feel better soon xx

tiptopteepe · 26/11/2017 18:07

YWNBU but its par for the course with facebook. Whatever you do or say may be disagreed with by some randomer. Just ignore it and carry on with your life. Some people are just very uptight.

pregz · 26/11/2017 18:10

For god sake she had a donut ! A donut, which you her mum , who has her best interests at heart, allowed her to have! Of course YANBU.

The way some people go on is ridiculous, if it was all really that bad for you half of us would be dead some of the stuff we ate as children!

I hope your DD enjoyed her donut and I hope your soon on the mend OP! Grin

Springprim · 26/11/2017 18:10

yanbu. You sound like the model mother and daughter! I hope you feel better soon🍩

purplecloudsgreyrain · 26/11/2017 18:11

When did people start spelling doughnut 'donut'?

HeatherWeather · 26/11/2017 18:11

Tiptop, this wasn’t a random person though, apparently a ‘friend’.

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