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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have bought DD a Krispy Kreme?

238 replies

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 17:45

I've been really ill the last few weeks; middle ear infections in both ears, and on Thursday and Friday both ear drums perforated thanks to the infection. I've been in absolute agony and have lost the majority of my hearing.

DH could only take a few days off work when I was really suffering because it's the busiest time of year for his company. But DD has been so good; eating all her food without fuss, playing or watching TV quietly while I snoozed on the sofa when I had no energy, helping me feed the cat by putting the bowl of food that I've filled on the floor as at one point bending down like that made me lightheaded, she's put her toys away without having to be asked repeatedly etc you get the picture.

She's only 2 and a half, and has really really impressed me with her behaviour. I've still got only about a quarter on my hearing (50% in right in, 5% in my left - just a rough guess), but we went shopping today to finish the rest of the Christmas shopping - she has a few extra needs, but didn't play up once; when walking she stayed nearby holding my hand or the pushchair where it was really busy and got into her pushchair without a fuss when I asked her too.

We passed a Krispy Kreme stall on our way in and DD was happy just to look and say "wow". So I bought her one as an extra special treat and told her why - because she's been so well behaved over the last few weeks when mummys been ill and she was well behaved that day. I took a photo to put on Facebook. She chose it herself - a ring donut with milk chocolate glaze and white chocolate sprinkles. It was quite expensive for a donut at £2 something but she deserved it, she even managed until we got home and had had her tea before asking for it.

A friend said it was an awful thing to give a 2 year old they contain a lot of sugar and it'll rot her teeth. She said I'd have been better getting her some normal sweets or a small chocolate bar. I'm usually pretty strict on sugar, she's only allowed water or milk to drink unless we're at my mums or PILs where she's allowed squash. She's allowed sweets and chocolate but I try and limit it to a few times a week and even then it's only something small like a fudge bar or half a kinder egg. I make sure she brushes her teeth in the morning when she gets up and also before she goes to bed at night (apart from the odd time she's fallen asleep in the car and been carried in asleep) and the dentist never has a problem with her teeth when we go. The friend knows this.

But I'm doubting myself, possibly because I'm still taking painkillers every 4 hours and still on quite strong antibiotics to clear the infection which is still lingering. I just wanted DD to know that her good behaviour had been noticed.

So WIBU to buy the donut for a 2 year old?

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 25/11/2017 17:55

Sounds like your DD has been a star, ignore the twatty comment .

Katyppp · 25/11/2017 17:55

Goodness that's a lot of angst about a doughnut.
Learn to trust your instincts and common sense OP.

ColinCreevy · 25/11/2017 17:56

She's not really your friend.. Friends don't post snarky comments about each other's minor parenting choices. At the very most she could have tutted to herself but you don't actually say anything!
Post a photo of your DD with an empty bottle of Jagermeister next time "Rare treat!". Your mate will blow her top.

TheFairyCaravan · 25/11/2017 17:56

Some people are joyless bastards, they really are. It’s a doughnut not an iv of cocaine. I bet she has a bit of what she fancies now and again.

I hope she enjoyed it OP

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 17:56

Ivy I agree in principal, so I don't give things like chocolate as a treat and don't bat an eyelid when I pick her up from Nursery and she's eating a small pack of haribo or a fun size milky bar for a friends birthday. If she asks she gets generally.

But cake is a treat to me and my parents always said it was too (and had the same rules on sweets). But treat doesn't necessarily mean just for birthdays or special occasions.

OP posts:
idfwu · 25/11/2017 17:56

Don't put things on Facebook if you're so easily upset.

MissionItsPossible · 25/11/2017 17:58

Tell the friend to mind their own bloody business, though if you're posting such things on Facebook (and AIBU) you're asking for trouble, to be honest.

Loverunandwine · 25/11/2017 17:58

Not unreasonable at all and crikey I really want one now!!!!!

HelloSquirrels · 25/11/2017 17:58

Yanbu at all. Your daughter sounds fantastic.

And post whatever you like on fb and ignore the misery guts on here. Nobody is obliged to read or go on fb after all!

Only1scoop · 25/11/2017 18:00

Is this the kind of nause which folk really post on FB....

Surely your common sense would tell you that a one off treat is fine for her....

You seem justify yourself worryingly so

alfagirl73 · 25/11/2017 18:01

Your "friend" sounds proper miserable! What has the world come to if you can't treat your child to a krispy kreme once in a while?! Can't do anything these days without someone trying to suck the enjoyment out of it!

I hope your DD enjoyed every crumb of her krispy kreme and don't question yourself for a second! x

OkapiCarrot · 25/11/2017 18:01

Battleax
tell your friend to fuck off and mind her own business

OR... just don't post the tiny details of your life on FB for criticism?

Er... isn't facebook for posting whatever the fuck you like? JFC.

OP, YWNBU and it sounds like you have the sweetest DD. Ignore your 'friend', or better yet, cut that toxic shit out of your life.

MissMogwai · 25/11/2017 18:03

YANBU your 'friend' sounds like a right barrel of laughs. Just tell her to mind her own business!

A treat won't do any damage. Don't doubt yourself and your parenting because of one judgy misery guts.

Ansumpasty · 25/11/2017 18:03

Are you serious? It's more concerning that you are worrying about giving a child a doughnut so much that you are posting about it online.
I gave my kids instant noodles for lunch, better call the social

Ecureuil · 25/11/2017 18:04

My 3 and 2 year olds had one a few months ago. Not even as a particular treat, we were on holiday and I wanted one, so I got them one (to share) too. Didn’t occur to me that anyone would judge me for it!

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/11/2017 18:06

Don’t people just love to judge. Enjoy your dd, have fun and sod what your friend thinks.

Katyppp · 25/11/2017 18:07

Actually I am now wondering if this is some kind of stealth boast about the OP's perfect toddler 😉 and her low sugar consumption rules.
If it was, it got the right responses .....

kinkajoukid · 25/11/2017 18:07

Ouch! Hope your ears are a bit better now.

I think it is too much sugar for such a small child. I know that sometimes with illness etc, we have to eat what is to hand, but something so unhealthy shouldn't be described as a reward - I agree with ivykaty that it is a bad association to give a child.

There are healthier things that are tasty treats too and this would be a much better message to give your DD.

You did ask!!!

Serialweightwatcher · 25/11/2017 18:08

Tell your friend to mind their own business - so it's sugar big deal, she doesn't have one every day

Crunchymum · 25/11/2017 18:08

God why so much angst about what you feed your child?

(I mean in general, not you in particular OP)

As long as they don't have KK donuts or pasta sauce from a jar, or whatever "junk" 3 times a day, I don't see the problem.

Iloveacurry · 25/11/2017 18:08

Nope it was a treat, don’t you worry x

LunasSpectreSpecs · 25/11/2017 18:11

Not unreasonable as a treat. Totally unreasonable to post that sort of thing on FB.

PinkyBlunder · 25/11/2017 18:11

Yep just one doughnut will rot her teeth and they’ll all fall out on the spot Hmm does your friend have a meddle for being so perfect?

Of course YANBU.

wednesdayswench · 25/11/2017 18:13

Your friend is a knob Hmm

But posting stuff on FB will bring on criticism, so be prepared for that.

Hope you are feeling better.

MissDuke · 25/11/2017 18:14

She sounds like a wee pet, she really deserved a treat. Hope you feel better soon Flowers