To have bought DD a Krispy Kreme?

[IJustNeedaKitkat]

I've been really ill the last few weeks; middle ear infections in both ears, and on Thursday and Friday both ear drums perforated thanks to the infection. I've been in absolute agony and have lost the majority of my hearing.

DH could only take a few days off work when I was really suffering because it's the busiest time of year for his company. But DD has been so good; eating all her food without fuss, playing or watching TV quietly while I snoozed on the sofa when I had no energy, helping me feed the cat by putting the bowl of food that I've filled on the floor as at one point bending down like that made me lightheaded, she's put her toys away without having to be asked repeatedly etc you get the picture.

She's only 2 and a half, and has really really impressed me with her behaviour. I've still got only about a quarter on my hearing (50% in right in, 5% in my left - just a rough guess), but we went shopping today to finish the rest of the Christmas shopping - she has a few extra needs, but didn't play up once; when walking she stayed nearby holding my hand or the pushchair where it was really busy and got into her pushchair without a fuss when I asked her too.

We passed a Krispy Kreme stall on our way in and DD was happy just to look and say "wow". So I bought her one as an extra special treat and told her why - because she's been so well behaved over the last few weeks when mummys been ill and she was well behaved that day. I took a photo to put on Facebook. She chose it herself - a ring donut with milk chocolate glaze and white chocolate sprinkles. It was quite expensive for a donut at £2 something but she deserved it, she even managed until we got home and had had her tea before asking for it.

A friend said it was an awful thing to give a 2 year old they contain a lot of sugar and it'll rot her teeth. She said I'd have been better getting her some normal sweets or a small chocolate bar. I'm usually pretty strict on sugar, she's only allowed water or milk to drink unless we're at my mums or PILs where she's allowed squash. She's allowed sweets and chocolate but I try and limit it to a few times a week and even then it's only something small like a fudge bar or half a kinder egg. I make sure she brushes her teeth in the morning when she gets up and also before she goes to bed at night (apart from the odd time she's fallen asleep in the car and been carried in asleep) and the dentist never has a problem with her teeth when we go. The friend knows this.

But I'm doubting myself, possibly because I'm still taking painkillers every 4 hours and still on quite strong antibiotics to clear the infection which is still lingering. I just wanted DD to know that her good behaviour had been noticed.

So WIBU to buy the donut for a 2 year old?

Your friend will have dc with eating disorders. I tried not to use food as a reward bc i didn't want emotional connection with food. But of course we all deserve a donut. Especially dc who help their mothers. Your friend deserves a worm.

Re: school parties that do not allow sweet treats (Not you. I know). Parties used to be the ONLY times for goodies. It's not pastries at parties that's wrong, it's pastries everyday that's wrong.

Best wishes and trust yourself more. You need more confidence and frenemy needs less.

She sounds like an angel and i would like you to send her over here to teach my two to behave like that

Why do you care what your friend thinks about what you feed your daughter?

Odd

Sounds perfect. Treating your daughter to something super-duper extra special to show her you're proud she has been so well behaved and helped mummy so much.

And yanbu to post it to Facebook. In fact, take a lot of what you wrote in your OP and post that too, showing everyone why your daughter deserves this special treat.

One sugary thing once in a blue moon will not ruin her teeth.

I have three kids. 11, 8 and 5 and they have sugary treats. I would say they probably have something sweet like chocolate bars or crisps at least once a day. They also have fizzy pop with their dinner (but only then and only one glass) and they all have absolutely perfect teeth. Not a single concern at the dentist at every visit. In fact, the dentist is surprised as DS has deep recesses between the teeth (for food to stick) which is completely normal but more often than not children with teeth like that are the first to get cavities. As long as you're militant about brushing teeth and don't go crazy with sweets, your DD will be perfectly fine! Ignore sancti-friend!

goodness I despair.
it doesn't even need to be a treat.just part of being a lovely mum giving daughter a doughnut.they aren't evil.balance people.BALANCE!

I brought one for my 2yr old to perk him up before a playgroup not long ago but he didn't want it so I ended up eating it
Everything in moderation I say, she sounds like alovely child get better soon

Where was that "friend" when you needed a bit of back-up??? FRIEND?? Are you sure that sanctimonious, judgemental idiot is a "Friend" - I pat you on the back and give you a HUGE hug, for having coped, and for having recognised you darling daughters hugely well behaved and considerate behaviour! Give her four more doughnuts, and post the picture directly, to your "so-called friend" !!!! Well done you, and I really hope you are feeling hugely better soon! xxxxxxxxx

My children have pudding every day.
Sometimes it's doughnuts or equally sugary cakes.

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

This kind of "advice" has nothing to do with parenting. It has everything in common with the smiling mean girls in the school yard who give nasty, bitchy "advice" to raise their self esteem at others expense.

Think about it: a donut isn't ideal food but, to protest that much, she's either a bitch or has issues with food.

And as for FB- people don't post to be judged. If you set your security tight it's a friends and family environment. Should you therefore hide when eating at a party or restaurant?
Were the couple who snorted at me eating in a restaurant once and asked if I'd vomit it up later as I was "skinny" (I'm not) ok to do that as me being in public 'asked for' criticism? No.
I don't have an example for actual friends and family because it's so rude. No one that rude gets on my fb.

It's not that bad a treat choice. Far better than a lolly which gets left in the mouth to cover the teeth in sugar. No worse than any cake or biscuit. I remember the first time I let my dd have McDonald's. I did feel like a slummy Mummy. But life should be about having guilt free treats and learning what a treat something is, otherwise you won't appreciate it. Shame on your friend.

I wouldn't give her one as a reward, should she only behave if she gets donuts?

But if you fancied giving her a treat I'd probably have bought one and asked them to halve it to share. They're pretty massive!

I hope you're feeling better and I hope your dd enjoyed her treat. Your friend really should either mind her business or find herself something useful to worry about. Your fb, post what you like. Your dd sounds lovely and well deserving of that treat

This thread made me buy myself a Nutella one when I passed them in Morrisons yesterday.

I'm ill with a cold and decided I needed the energy.

It barely touched the sides.