To have bought DD a Krispy Kreme?

[IJustNeedaKitkat]

I've been really ill the last few weeks; middle ear infections in both ears, and on Thursday and Friday both ear drums perforated thanks to the infection. I've been in absolute agony and have lost the majority of my hearing.

DH could only take a few days off work when I was really suffering because it's the busiest time of year for his company. But DD has been so good; eating all her food without fuss, playing or watching TV quietly while I snoozed on the sofa when I had no energy, helping me feed the cat by putting the bowl of food that I've filled on the floor as at one point bending down like that made me lightheaded, she's put her toys away without having to be asked repeatedly etc you get the picture.

She's only 2 and a half, and has really really impressed me with her behaviour. I've still got only about a quarter on my hearing (50% in right in, 5% in my left - just a rough guess), but we went shopping today to finish the rest of the Christmas shopping - she has a few extra needs, but didn't play up once; when walking she stayed nearby holding my hand or the pushchair where it was really busy and got into her pushchair without a fuss when I asked her too.

We passed a Krispy Kreme stall on our way in and DD was happy just to look and say "wow". So I bought her one as an extra special treat and told her why - because she's been so well behaved over the last few weeks when mummys been ill and she was well behaved that day. I took a photo to put on Facebook. She chose it herself - a ring donut with milk chocolate glaze and white chocolate sprinkles. It was quite expensive for a donut at £2 something but she deserved it, she even managed until we got home and had had her tea before asking for it.

A friend said it was an awful thing to give a 2 year old they contain a lot of sugar and it'll rot her teeth. She said I'd have been better getting her some normal sweets or a small chocolate bar. I'm usually pretty strict on sugar, she's only allowed water or milk to drink unless we're at my mums or PILs where she's allowed squash. She's allowed sweets and chocolate but I try and limit it to a few times a week and even then it's only something small like a fudge bar or half a kinder egg. I make sure she brushes her teeth in the morning when she gets up and also before she goes to bed at night (apart from the odd time she's fallen asleep in the car and been carried in asleep) and the dentist never has a problem with her teeth when we go. The friend knows this.

But I'm doubting myself, possibly because I'm still taking painkillers every 4 hours and still on quite strong antibiotics to clear the infection which is still lingering. I just wanted DD to know that her good behaviour had been noticed.

So WIBU to buy the donut for a 2 year old?

YANBU to buy DD a doughnut as a rare treat.

However, YABU to give her chocolate and sweets 'a few times a week'. That's a lot for anyone, let alone a 2 1/2 year old.

I've posted a photo of my son on Facebook eating a Krispy Kreme before and also in Costa or similar with hot chocolate and a cake and actually I rarely post anything on Facebook. Never has anyone made comment about the sugar and neither would I expect it.

OP I’ve PMd you

OP relax.... the only persons opinion who matters is yours. If you try to hold yourself to everyone else’s standards simultaneously you will fail. Some people are just critical, that’s not your problem, don’t own it. Your friend sounds like she needs a doughnut ;)

'it helps DH made ravioli for tea, he makes the pasta himself then fills them with mince and bolognese sauce, peppers, onion, carrots and tomato sauce which he also makes himself with both fresh and tinned tomatoes. Pretty healthy.'

Sorry, but I've now visions of a FB post with pics of DH winding his home made pasta machine.

All these food posts are slightly odd

I wouldn’t give a 2.5 year old food as a treat for being well behaved as I think it sets a bad precedent and link between food and happiness. Whatever though it’s none of your friend’s business

On another note - your Nursery give the children Haribo? That’s insane!

Oh and yes Chocolate and sweets a few times a week is a lot for a 2.5 year old. Mine is the same age and she’ll eat cake or ice cream at a party or restaurant but not in the house.

I’ve just googled, a plain donut with choc sprinkles has 23gs of sugar. That’s over 5 teaspoons of sugar. .

No I wouldn’t give that to a two year.

Is this still droning on?

Enough already. Nobody cares.

Katyppp what nasty, bitter snidey posts from you. Why be so mean.

OP. Giving you daughter a doughnut on a Saturday afternoon is absolutely fine and normal. You need to gain a bit more confidence in your parenting and not be worrying about minor stuff that really doesn't matter. I'm glad your ear infection is passing. Enjoy the rest of your evening and don't listen to the spite and venom of a couple of nasties on here who can't bare to see anyone enjoying life.

I don't buy KKs simply because I think they're extortionately overpriced.

Like the people that were practically falling over themselves for the KK fridge at the front of Tescos for the Halloween boxes whilst at the back or the store they had their own doughnuts just as good 2 packs for £1.

1). Ignore friend & tell her to MHOB.
2). Be more careful about every little snippet you put on social media.
3). Review friends list and kick off snarky ones that way you can post what you like without people telling you off.

P.s I've had a perforated eardrum, the pain was excruciating. Get well soon and ignore hoiky judgeypants friend

Is this still droning on?

I thought it turned into quite an interesting debate about giving children sugary treats as rewards for behaviour? Sorry if it's killing your buzz Buzz.

I always feel a bit sensitive and emotional when I'm ill, layered with guilt because I'm not well enough to do fun things with the children. A pious comment criticising your parenting on FB is probably like a slap in the face when you feel shit anyway.

Now I want a strawberry cream Krispy Kreme

Your friend is an idiot. It's a donut not crack!

My dd is 4 and we have them as treats every so often. They are expensive but they are very yummy!

I want some of you dh's ravioli that sounds great. Ive never tried to make my own pasta but might now.

Also- you are being very unreasonable for not buying me one- my tightwadd ways has lead to me never having tried one

Omg tell her to get a grip stop being so uptight. Its a reward.

Ummmm how dare she a doughnut never killed anyone

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Actually I think that the more 'occasional' the reward is, the more desirable it becomes. And of course as PP have pointed out, if something is banned altogether it becomes even more desirable.
Personally I think the answer is probably to have sweets "regularly" but never as a reward and always in strict moderation.

I think we have to distinguish between treat and reward. A treat is something you have just because you fancy that thing at that time or it's a special occasion. It might be more appropriate in this case if everyone in the family had a donut as a 'treat', or shared one or two between them... but to give a donut to a child and say words to the effect of 'this is because you've been good and I'm pleased with you..." is an entirely different matter.

but to give a donut to a child and say words to the effect of 'this is because you've been good and I'm pleased with you..." is an entirely different matter.

Why?

jonsnowswife
I think because it is equating food with rewards rather than 'this is something we enjoy every now and again because it's nice'.

I can't help but think the friend in this thread shouls make friends with the brownie leader in another thread and they can sit and lament how the odd bit of unhealthy food turns kids into crack addicts

I can't help but think the friend in this thread shouls make friends with the brownie leader in another thread and they can sit and lament how the odd bit of unhealthy food turns kids into crack addicts

That made me chuckle.

Are peppermint creams been banned now then? Used to love making them in Brownies.

Should yes the nursery give out sweets provided by parents to each child on birthdays, obviously they're sensible. There were 3 birthdays on my DDs birthday so each child only got ONE small packet of sweets. There isn't a birthday every week (30 children in the room and 8 members of staff) so it's not all the time.

They also have advent calender's donated by the local supermarket all dairy free but they will be 5-6 advent calendars and they get shared amongst key workers to give to their key groups (there's up to 8 in a Key Group but no more than 3/4 from a group are in on any given day due to different days etc) and each day a child gets a chocolate, sometimes it's DD but it always seems fair so I don't complain or anything, as long as she gets the chocolate once I'm honestly fine with it. They also have parties where they have sweets, they sometimes ask for donations for parties, and while not everyone does I always send it sweets. They also get donations of sausage rolls, scotch eggs

And it's one of the reasons I chose the Nursery. They know that children eat sweets, and they're sensible about it. They don't overload them with sweets, make sure each child has a good selection of the other food and don't give them free access to sweets when they are offered, it's one small bag if haribo or a small carton smarrties (you know the tiny 14g boxes) per child. They have pudding after their main meal but the children are only allowed it if they eat a certain amount of their food (3/4 or more), DD gets it most days she's there as she loves the food, but there are children who will only have it once or twice a week. They have a huge (and I mean huge) garden and forest school status and spend a lot of time in the garden and going out on walks and to the park, the Nursery is very active within the local community too - they do fundraising for certain events, attend with the children other events, go to the local library (and donate books/money when they go, they're always saying "books for x town library please").

The Nursery had Ofsted in March and they're rated Good to Outstanding they only fell down on 1 or 2 points to get outstanding, it's very oversubscribed for a Nursery in the West Midlands and has a 6 month waiting list for a place in the Baby and Toddler rooms so they can't be doing too badly.

Basically I'm saying to me theres more important things that a few sweets every now and again