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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have bought DD a Krispy Kreme?

238 replies

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 17:45

I've been really ill the last few weeks; middle ear infections in both ears, and on Thursday and Friday both ear drums perforated thanks to the infection. I've been in absolute agony and have lost the majority of my hearing.

DH could only take a few days off work when I was really suffering because it's the busiest time of year for his company. But DD has been so good; eating all her food without fuss, playing or watching TV quietly while I snoozed on the sofa when I had no energy, helping me feed the cat by putting the bowl of food that I've filled on the floor as at one point bending down like that made me lightheaded, she's put her toys away without having to be asked repeatedly etc you get the picture.

She's only 2 and a half, and has really really impressed me with her behaviour. I've still got only about a quarter on my hearing (50% in right in, 5% in my left - just a rough guess), but we went shopping today to finish the rest of the Christmas shopping - she has a few extra needs, but didn't play up once; when walking she stayed nearby holding my hand or the pushchair where it was really busy and got into her pushchair without a fuss when I asked her too.

We passed a Krispy Kreme stall on our way in and DD was happy just to look and say "wow". So I bought her one as an extra special treat and told her why - because she's been so well behaved over the last few weeks when mummys been ill and she was well behaved that day. I took a photo to put on Facebook. She chose it herself - a ring donut with milk chocolate glaze and white chocolate sprinkles. It was quite expensive for a donut at £2 something but she deserved it, she even managed until we got home and had had her tea before asking for it.

A friend said it was an awful thing to give a 2 year old they contain a lot of sugar and it'll rot her teeth. She said I'd have been better getting her some normal sweets or a small chocolate bar. I'm usually pretty strict on sugar, she's only allowed water or milk to drink unless we're at my mums or PILs where she's allowed squash. She's allowed sweets and chocolate but I try and limit it to a few times a week and even then it's only something small like a fudge bar or half a kinder egg. I make sure she brushes her teeth in the morning when she gets up and also before she goes to bed at night (apart from the odd time she's fallen asleep in the car and been carried in asleep) and the dentist never has a problem with her teeth when we go. The friend knows this.

But I'm doubting myself, possibly because I'm still taking painkillers every 4 hours and still on quite strong antibiotics to clear the infection which is still lingering. I just wanted DD to know that her good behaviour had been noticed.

So WIBU to buy the donut for a 2 year old?

OP posts:
73kittycat73 · 25/11/2017 18:17

Aww, I think it's sweet what you did. Your daughter sounds amazing too. She deserved a treat! Don't listen to the naysayers, bah humbug to them! Grin

juddyrockingcloggs · 25/11/2017 18:18

You were not being unreasonable at all. Giving her a donut or posting it on FB.

Tell your friend to f**k off.

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 18:20

My friends very anti sugar, her children literally are not allowed anything and she checks the sugar content of everything before serving it, she can be a bit obsessive over it so I do think it came from a place of worry rather than being judgemental, and as I said I'm a bit emotional right now due to being in pain and on painkillers and medication for the infections, I'm not usually so hung up on comments.

OP posts:
endehors · 25/11/2017 18:21

If it's only "a rare treat" I'm sure it will probably be fine. OP. Wink

ferntwist · 25/11/2017 18:23

YANBU. Your DD sounds lovely. Get well soon!

Jamhandprints · 25/11/2017 18:24

No reason to doubt yourself op. I sometimes buy my kids a donut for no reason at all. Obviously we freeze them and only have one crumb a week. ;-) ;-)

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 25/11/2017 18:25

Gosh some people need to lighten up. It’s a donut, not crack

This. 300 words about a donut. Relax and just bloody give it to her.

squoosh · 25/11/2017 18:25

Tell the friend the Krispy Kreme was just a chaser for the tin of Golden Syrup she was having next.

What a lot of fuss.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 25/11/2017 18:26

Stay off Facebook = problem solved

But no the odd treat is fine

Katyb1310 · 25/11/2017 18:26

Ywnbu at all. Sounds as if she has well and truly earned it and it was a treat - it's not as if you're giving her them every day! Your daughter sounds absolutely lovely, a d a credit to you. Feel better soon, ear infectìons are the work of the devil xx

LagunaBubbles · 25/11/2017 18:26

I couldn't be friends with someone like this not because they are so het up over sugar but because they feel the need to post such a comment on a friends FB.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 25/11/2017 18:26

God why so much angst about what you feed your child?
Because, funny enough, what we feed or don't feed our children has an effect on how their bodies work, and even if that doesn't have an immediate negative effect it can lead to developing diseases years down the line. Of course a single donut once in a blue moon won't hurt, but it's never just that is it, it's also all the sweets and chocolate kids get "a few times a week" which add up.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 25/11/2017 18:27

You must be feeling quite low after your ear infections so a sanctimonious comment from your friend must feel like a kick when you're down. Just ignore it.

Middle ear infections are Hell so hope you're feeling better. I said HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER. Grin

Krispy creme = 10 g sugar
Mr Whippy ice cream = 9 g sugar

Not much difference between a donut and ice cream (which I would allow a child to have as a treat)

Friolero · 25/11/2017 18:30

It's fine as a one-off treat, ignore your friend! I hope you feel better soon, sounds horrible.

Now I want a donut!

squoosh · 25/11/2017 18:31

Of course a single donut once in a blue moon won't hurt, but it's never just that is it, it's also all the sweets and chocolate kids get "a few times a week"

Well for Sugar Stasi mum is probably is just that. A treat for her kids (bet it's carob) once in a blue moon. Not all kids get sweets and chocs 'a few times a week'.

But still, there's no need for angst. People who angst need to get a grip.

silkpyjamasallday · 25/11/2017 18:31

One of my first words was 'butties' meaning chocolate buttons, I did not grow up to be obese and have no fillings in my teeth, I had a very laid back mum in regards to sugary stuff and I think that is the healthiest attitude. I let my 15 month old have little bits of all sorts of sweet treats if DP or I are eating them, she still gobbles down her veg and savoury food, it isn't going to ruin her for life to have a bit of chocolate or cake.

Your daughter was having a one off treat, your friend is a sanctimonious idiot. The sort of person who would 'call you out' like that on Facebook about your parenting is a total wanker and not worth being a 'friends' with at all. I wholeheartedly recommend ditching Facebook altogether and just setting up a family/friends whatsapp group for sharing pictures of your DD, there is no need to have Facebook at all and if people you want to keep in touch with use it they are capable of using other apps I'm sure.

goose1964 · 25/11/2017 18:32

As a one off it was fine.

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 18:33

What Like I said it's usually something small like a fudge, small bag of haribo or a milky way, and tbh she does go weeks without it because I forget to buy them or she doesn't ask, but she generally has something in the cupboard if she wants it, I don't think limiting sugar will help her moderate herself in later. She's following her percentile for weight, and also eats all her food she's given, loves fruit or vegetables as a snack so when she does ask for sweets or chocolate as long as it's not everyday she can have it - I have a bit of chocolate or some jelly babies occasionally so why can't she? I have no problem saying no and if I think she's had too much I'll offer her fruit or rice cakes or something as an alternative.

OP posts:
RhiannonOHara · 25/11/2017 18:33

You and your DD both sound so nice.

Ignore the 'friend'. It was a treat; she's not mainlining them I could

ObscuredbyFog · 25/11/2017 18:33

So sorry you've been so ill OP, really hope you're on the mend now.

A friend said it was an awful thing to give a 2 year old they contain a lot of sugar and it'll rot her teeth. She said I'd have been better getting her some normal sweets or a small chocolate bar.

Your friend needs a little education.
A KK or other doughnut is likely to rot your child's teeth at the same rate as "normal" sweets, whatever they are.
Your child's teeth will not rot on the spot and fall out because she ate one KK.

Your DD sounds delightful and I'm not surprised you wanted to buy her a treat because she's been so good.

My dd has several food allergies so most sweet treats were out as a child, so I'd buy her a small toy instead. I kept a stash of them in a drawer at home and took one in my bag to give her if she'd been good as some places just don't sell inexpensive small toys.
If I could have given her a sweet treat once in a while, I would have done, with pleasure.

Ignore the snarky comments, this is one little moment of happiness, don't let other people taint it and turn it into something it's not.
Flowers

humanfemale · 25/11/2017 18:33

Your friend was a massive pain in the ass for reacting like that.

randomer · 25/11/2017 18:34

Friend possibly needs to worry about children with nothing to eat

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 18:35
  • later life
OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 25/11/2017 18:36

Tell your friend to mind her own business and keep her beak out. It's fuck-all to do with her.

IJustNeedaKitkat · 25/11/2017 18:37

*fun size milky way

OP posts: