When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

My 9 year old son still has his cuddly dog. He sleeps with it every night. Nothing wrong with that. I don’t think he would admit that to his friends these days but at home he is happy to still love his dog.

Never. It's her toy therefore her choice.

Your mother needs to get a grip. Life is about meaning and love not bloody appearances.

My DC are 10, 16 and 17 and still fond of their "special toys". I recently repaired DS1's old teddy and he was very grateful. He doesn't cuddle it or anything but likes to know it's there. I still have mine in a cupboard somewhere and I'm 53!

Bloody hell!

I still have my special bear from babyhood. So does my DH. We don't play with them (though his is a koala which he insists goes in the christmas tree ) but they sit on a windowsill and are nice memories.

Just let her have the toy. She'll eventually put it away when she feels ready.

Oh no don't ever take it off her! Ignore your mum.
I have my special bear on a shelf in the spare room and my sister has hers at uni with her!

I agree so strongly with all the PP saying never take it away. I came home from school aged about 8 to find all my soft toys and teddies had gone from my bed. My mother had given them to 'the children's home'. Just like that. All gone. It was awful.

I'm planning on going up the attic next time I'm at my parents' place to retrieve Rover, and I'm 35... keep your DM away from that toy, she does not sound as though she can be trusted.

Never.

Never, ever take it away.

I still have mine in my bedside drawer. Although it doesn't smell the same anymore

My siblings sometimes jokingly, in a nice way, ask if I still have it.

Unnecessary. Does no harm at all. I still have my childhood teddy on my bed. My nearly 13 year old son (otherwise loves rap music, gaming and trainer shopping) still likes to cuddle his favourite lion. Dear old lion now has no mane and no paws!

When I was a child it was not uncommon for children to have their lovely until they were 9/10. Your DM sounds like a bit ifs bitch tbf

Don't even think about taking the toy away. I've got a toy that was lost for decades and it turned up. I was over the moon.

I will never take DD's comforter away. We will have to start restricting where she takes it in case it gets lost, but I'll never force her to give it up.
I've had a few comments from strangers mostly about DD giving it up soon, and she's only 3! It just makes me sad to think someone would remove a beloved toy. She gave up her dummy a year ago, but that's very different.

DH and I still have our childhood favourite toys.

Why would you ever take it away! Please don’t. I’m in my 30’s and still have my special bear. She’ll grow out of carrying it around in her own time but he will always be special to her.

I lost mine a couple of years ago and I am still gutted about it if I think too hard. It was sort of DH's fault too and even though he has apologised I don't think I will ever forgive him :( I mean I'm not actually angry with him, it was just a toy and I can rationalise it, but yeah. She's being totally unreasonable, make sure she never ever has access to the toy!

God almighty your Mum sounds heartless! Tell her to mind her own business. It's nothing to do with her - your DD is not her child so she needs to keep her beak out. Why does a child having a special toy bother her so much?!

I still have my special teddy that I've had since I was 3 - and I am now 38! I keep him in a memory box and I would never, ever throw him away.

I still have my special toy (a rabbit). I love him very much. I don't think there's ever a need to take them away. Tell your mum to butt out!

Never take the toy away! Let her decide when she's old enough not to need it on a regular basis. My DD is 16 and her special toy has gone from going everywhere with her, to only going to bed with her to having pride of place on her bedroom shelf

Why??

My 12 year old has a special toy and still sleeps with it. I'm 44 and have mine on my bedside table.

It's her toy, let her have it for as long as she wants. If I were you OP I would try to preserve the toy for when your child is older.

Is DM horrible in other ways? How spiteful to want to deprive a child of a beloved toy.

The toy stays in the picture.

I agree about keeping it well away from your mother.

I'm in my 30's & still got my special teddy had it since I was born it sits in his special place in my bedroom, think I grew out of having him with me at about 9/10 but would never get rid of him, dd1 who's 9 has her special teddy she had since birth sits in her bed all day long/ goes to sleepovers though she doesn't bother with him much but if I put him on for a wash or something she notices & keeps on till she has him back

Take it away because she loves it ????
OMG that’s horrendous !
Please don’t - ever !!!!!!

I still have my special teddies grom when i was little. Dh has his too and he's 52. OK they haven't been played with for very many years but no chance they'll be thrown away!

My nan threw my mum's teddy out when she left home at 21 (she'd taken a short-term contract in the UK so was always coming back). My mum still regrets that and she's in her 70s.

Never be that parent. Never be that person who - because of pressure from someone wholly unconnected to a decision - takes away something a child loves and cherishes.

I get it if there's a health risk or it's doing some kind of damage but children attach to things in the same way that adults do, so instead of taking a child's comforter away, go to your Mum's house and shout "you're getting too old for this, it's embarrassing when you go out and people think you still watch it so I'm taking it away" and remove her telly. I genuinely cannot believe a Grandparent would be so unkind.

DS2 is 7 next month and I'd never dream of taking away things he loves. From Ikea hand puppets he sleeps with on his sweaty little mitts every night to the bear DS1 bought for him the day he was born, those toys almost mark the history of his childhood. He can get rid of them when he's ready.