When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

Never. I still have mine (though I don't sleep with it anymore!). My mum still had hers beside the bed when she died aged 56, and I have it now. Tell your mum to get her sticky beak out.

Bollox! My eldest has gone off to Uni with his 'pillowcase' which is a comforter but has left his teddy behind purely because he's very fragile now. He also used to take it on sleepovers but not necessarily take it out of his bag. Just knowing it was there was enough.

DD1(16) still has her 'snugglies' (muslins) which she holds in her toes at night. Again, now she's older she sometimes chooses not to take them and sometimes does.

Ignore your DM, there's enough evidence to say that children who do have a comforter (in whatever shape or form) are still well-adjusted members of society if left to give it up when they are ready.

Don't take it off her! She will gradually get less attached as she gets older.

I've had ten year olds in tears at Brownie holiday because they've lost their special teddy (they always turn up but it's traumatic while it lasts)

I think as they start going to sleepovers it's comforting to have special teddy there that smells of home and is familiar and safe

When I worked with older people who were living in nursing homes, quite a few of them had their much lived teddy bears in their rooms. It didn't mean that they were immature, just that they had a much lived item that brought them comfort.

Do not throw away her teddy, it will be heartbreaking for her. Imagine how you'd feel if someone threw away something precious of yours, I'd hate it if my husband threw away my much loved tat.

DS (18 - left school, off to Uni) still sleeps wrapped in a knackered baby blanket.

DD (15) goes to bed cuddling a blue elephant.

Me - 47 still have a toy in my bedside drawer that would be back in my bed we're DH not an acceptable substitute.

I still have my bear, age 34. My mum still has her beloved bear age, 62.

Don’t take it away please.

My ds eventually grew out of sleeping with his special toy but he still says that would be the thing he would save in a fire.

I would concentrate on encouraging bribing him to leave it at home and keep it in his bedroom, preferably without saying that he's too old for it.

My ds had a particular blanket he sat and stroked! We joked on what would he do with it at 17 when he learned to drive as no signs of surrendering it were showing at about 8/9. He announced it would be wrapped around the steering wheel obviously!! He is 17 and no sign of blanket for years now!! Your dm doesn't sound too nice op!! Maybe shove her on Santa's naughty list and get her a bag of coal!?

I'm mid 30's and I still have my special bear from childhood!

DO NOT take it away.
DO NOT listen to your DM or let her anywhere near it.

DD is 7 ffs, that's still v v young and even if she was 15 she has a right to hang on to something special, even if it looks like the walking dead and smells worse!

What kind of evil fuckwit would take a 7 yr olds special toy away?

The stoic- dm is not allowed near it- dd knows to keep it in her bedroom when dm is round and doesn't take it there , even on sleepovers.

Wise. Shame your mum is already making her feel bad about having it.

Bet your mum had a beloved childhood toy that was tragically ripped from her own arms one day as she was brutally told to ‘grow up’.

Never. My DD's special toy is on her bed. She left home years ago...

My parents took away a toy because I was too old for it, and broke it up in front of me. I have no idea how they could do such a thing.

I still have my teddy dog from when I was a kid

let her keep it. Shes still so little, but even if she wasnt, let her keep it

NEVER. Full stop.
:)

What's with the idea of being "too old" for a much loved toy??!

It's more pathetic and immature to be bothered by what other people think, than to still carry a special toy or item.

If a child/teen/adult wants to take a teddy/blanket etc. out with them, then they should.

It is literally no one elses business, and I think telling kids they are "too old" for something is really shit.

You are never too old for anything, so long as it makes you happy.

Your mum sounds very cruel, op. Point out that this is YOUR daughter and you're happy for her to keep the bear for as long as she wants. You need to make your mother realise she doesn't get a say in this.

On a practical note, you could ask your daughter if you could help her pick a baby grow to put on the bear. Explain it will keep the bear in better condition for longer.

Never! My nearly 13 year old still has his. All this taking things away - it isn't remotely 'weird', it is normal. Your DM should mind her own bloody business.

I still have mine. I gave it to my DD when she was little and explained it was my special toy when I was her age. Now whenever we have a movie night, she will grab her blanket, a toy for herself and my old toy for me to snuggle with. When I was working re ally long shifts last year, I used to come home to find she had tucked it into my bed for me

My childhood teddy bear is on my bed right now. I take him away with me if we are going places overnight, although I don’t carry him around all day because I am nearly 40. If someone took it off me they would not get very far.

There may be an argument to suggest a loved toy becomes a bedtime toy so doesn’t leave the house to avoid the trauma of being lost. But that is a conversation between you and your child not up to anyone else.

Very victorian type thinking imo.

"Right thats it, you've had your fun, now you must be a serious grown up, drop all those childish things, no more playing, or fun, just po-faced reality from now on"

My family hate my daughters rabbit that she’s had forever but I love that she still loves her rabbit, even if it’s a bit dingy (it gets washed regularly) and I have no intention of taking it off her.

Tell your mum that she's a miserable old wagon.
DS is 35 and married with a daughter
He still has his cuddly stuffed Godzilla,though it now lives on his bedside table.

She’s 7 by the way

Wow. That’s really cruel.

Please try to remember that your DD has only been on the planet 7 years. When is it exactly that she’s meant to turn into an adult?