When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

Sorry I meant it isn't remotely weird for her to love the toy and all this taking things away so children grow up nonsense annoys the hell out of me. So much so I messed up my post.

Don't do anything so cruel! My DD is now in her 40s and still has a cuddly toy from when she was a child. She once left it behind on an outing and she still says what wonderful parents we were as we turned the car around and drove miles back to to find it for her. (Tinkly laugh).

My 25yo DD still has her scraggly old dog and her blankie on her bed in her very grown up London pad. she would not be without them. It would be cruel to remove comfort items from a child.

Never! I still sleep with mine every night

My DS is 10 and still has a doggy ( harrords 1st puppy toy ) and a special pillow !
He loves them !
He doesn't refer to them as often as he did as he's growing up but if I threw them out he would go bat shit crazy. When he's stressed he goes and cuddles them. It's not doing any harm in the house but that doggy has flown all over Europe with him and I can see it being a keepsake to be honest!

And 19 yr old DSD gave DS her much loved monkey toy when he was born, on the strict understanding it was a lend not a ^give.

5 yrs later she still wants to see the monkey when she comes round, often before her Dad!
And now it's DS's special toy as well.....a connection with his sister that will last for as long as the monkey does.

If someone had taken it away from her because she was "too old" for it, that lovely connection between siblings vastly different in age wouldn't exist.

Never and your mother is being a cold hearted cow.

Tell your DM to piss off. I still sleep with a teddy every night, can’t sleep without him, my DM (57) still sleeps with a piece of her cot blanket under her pillow. Why would you take something that gives comfort?

Why would you ever take it away!

I'm 40 and my, now tiny, blanket lives under my pillow.

Tell your mother to piss off.

I have a teddy I have had since a tiny girl and I am now a grown woman married with dc and you know what I’ve still got my teddy he sits near my bed and sometimes when I am sad I still cuddle him at night.

Why would anyone take the child’s teddy away? How cruel. Maybe tell your mother to find her heart

Oh my God, why on earth would you? Tell DM to fuck off. My 19 year old DD still has her special toy from babyhood, my 6 yo DS is never without his favourite teddy. Indeed, I now have my brother's favourite childhood toy, he occasionally asks after it and he's 45! There is no need to take it away at all.

Honestly, some people are just awful!

I would also make sure that "D"M is never allowed near the toy because she'll get rid of it for you. What a cow!

My DH and DSS made a couple of hamsters out of a bit of fluffy material- eyes are all wonky and the body on one of them is as flat as a pancake - not ever a shop bought soft toy - by your Mil's standards they should have been chucked in the bin years ago.

DSS is an adult but it would be a massive betrayal if we allowed anything to happen to those little mementos of childhood.

My only concern is what will happen if she loses it. Otherwise I wouldn't take it away.

Dd2 has taken her Daisy Dog with her to university.

One thing I wish I'd done was get a second one and store it in case. We did eventually manage to get hold of a replacement when Dog went missing on holiday, but it was a marathon nightmare.

Sorry your DM not mil

Just don't take it out. DS has a special monkey, it's never left the house.

That is all wrong. My DS's special toy was falling apart so we agreed to put him on top of the wardrobe so he can always see him but still hugs him when really upset. I can't imagine why on earth anyone would suggest this. I can see if it was a dummy at age 7 or something due to teeth/speech, but I can't see any harm in a much loved toy!

My old toy bunny was tragically ripped from my arms by my callous 4 year old DD who informed me that it was hers now. I thought about putting up a fight but it didn't feel like the kind thing to do. So now she 'looks after it for me'.

Under no other circumstances is it OK to take away a much loved toy. Tell your Mum to back off.

Was your DM a nasty mother to you? Was she into 'tough love' and 'not spoiling children'? Her attitude is actually quite spiteful.

My DH still has his childhood bear, and he is 43!!

It's not a problem so why think about taking it away? She's not so attached to it she has to take it to school. She's not permanently sucking its ears or something?

She'll gradually want to take her bear out less when she gets older and he can live on her bed.

It seems a strange thing for your mum to make an issue of?

It’s nothing to do with her. You are the parent. Keep the bear until your dad decides to put it away.

I'm in my forties and still have my special teddy. Tell your DM to butt out.

Ds never had a special teddy. Dd does - she's 7 now and still loves him (not it !) . He is a bit manky and stays in her bed mostly but I wouldn't dream of going on holiday without it for example. Nothing wrong with that at all.