When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

Answer to you question is - Never.

Never!! I'm 35 and still sleep with my childhood cuddly - and a few I've bought since . Ds's15+11 both have theirs on their beds and ds2 takes his back and forth between mine and his dad's every week, I think it makes the transition easier.
Also how can something a 7 year old does be too "childish" 7 is surely still very much a child!!

Never! Why on earth would you do that. Would be very interested to know what has made dm think that way

NEVER. My dd is 18 and when she was injured in a car accident last year, she still found it comforting. Toss it in the washing machine (use lingerie bag if it's fragile).

We don't forget a cold hearted "too big for" rule. It's hurtful and cruel.

It's like night lights; Why can't we have a dim light on at night?

There are many legislated rules in life. Special toys sooo do not fall under any of them. Swat that suggestion away.

Is DM your mother? Did she do that to you? Phooey on this nonesense.

I’m 41 and still sleep with my Bear. Both my children have a special toy and I wouldn’t dream of taking them away.

She'll decide for herself when she no longer needs it and when she feels it's too babyish. There is no need to to force it or you'll traumatise her.
My 7 year old needs Teddy to sleep and it doesn't bother me. I DO wash him on 60 deg from time to time as he is pretty grimy.

I can't believe this is even a question.
My 16 year old still has her special teddy and I would never dream of taking it away.
Please don't.
When I was small I had a little white bear that my mom hated as it was tatty and grubby. She bought me replacement wgen i was about 7 and tried to take the original away. Nearly 40 years on i can still remember how i felt at thought, needless to say I still have both bears.

My daughter is almost 29 and a mother of one (and a bit) but she still has her smelly as she calls it. Her husband takes the piss but when she’s very stressed or exhausted which is often at the mo as she’s at uni too, out comes the smelly!
I don’t have a problem with it as it still offers some comfort.
Tell your mother to bugger off and mind her own business!

Never

OMG your mother sounds .

I’m mid 30s and have my teddy from when I was a baby. Or rather, I did have until a couple of years ago my child came into the lounge cuddling it and asked what its name was. When I told them they said “he’s my bear now!” And ran off with it, it’s been in my child’s bed every night for over 2 years now.

I miss my teddy

I know a surgeon who still has pieces of her childhood blanket one in her handbag one in her car and her bedside cabinet.
It is not a barrier to growing up.

I'm 47 and still have my special teddy and sleep with it. My husband calls it "that fucking thing" but is very tolerant really. Never take it away.

Never, that would be cruel. It obviously helps her to feel secure so what’s the problem?

DD1 'special' bunny has been with her since first Christmas. Currently residing in Europe on an emmaus scholarship, having spent two years at uni and travelled SE Asia for 3 months backpacking.

The poor old thing is enjoying a rest x
DD1 is now 22. She would have the arm off of anyone who tried to 'disappear' her.

My DD lost her special rabbit one day in a shop when she was about 2. I had to buy a new one and spent hours rubbing it with sand paper and putting it through the wash with jeans to make it grey and scraggy like the original. Eventually she accepted the new rabbit and has loved him just as much as the original. She's now 7 and I'm so glad I managed to replace him. He's almost as special to me as he is to DD now. Since then he's been relegated to the house when we go out though for his own safely of course.

Never. That is all.

Im cuddling up with my childhood toy right now. Why on earth would anyone separate a child from his toy. Thats cruel!

I’ve not read all of the chat. But do not take it away, I still have my baby doll and I’m almost 30! She still provides me comfort even now.

Mineall...my dh cuddles me special soft toy as much as me.

I still have my toy from birth; it was one of the only things I took with me when I left home at 16. I'm not 'weirdly' attached to it, nor has it ever been a cause of embarrassment for me, it's just a lovely sentimental reminder and comfort to me (just to look at, even now)!

From. My. Cold. Dead. Hands. will you prise Mrs Kangaroo away from me. We've been together for almost 35yrs, since my mum made her for my 3rd birthday. Her nose has fallen off, her tail has had to be restitched, the Incident With The Ear I shall not mention.

Every child should have that one thing that brings them comfort, as they grow up. And for sentimental reasons, stays with them even as they become parents themselves. This is a hill I'm willing to die on. With Mrs Kangaroo.

56 and still got my ted. Your DM sounds a bit controlling.

Never!

I think you should buy your DM the box set of Toy Story films for Christmas and tell her to leave the toys alone ... :)

My sister is pushing 60 and still has her manky, flea bitten teddy bear. I've got mums and he must be at least 80 years old. Are there still doll hospitals where they patch up over loved toys?