When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

Never!

Would definitely ignore mil rantings. If daughter happy to still have her best what on earth is wrong with that. If he does ever get lost then DD will accept that easily but to be deprived as someone says so just not on.

Here’s another one saying NEVER.

DD1 has a special cat that she’s had since she was 6 months old. She’s now 10 and it’s still in her bed and she cuddles it to sleep every night. She doesn’t NEED it to sleep with anymore, like she used to. For example, if we went away or she went on a sleepover she would have had to take it otherwise she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Now she leaves it at home because she doesn’t want to lose it and she doesn’t need it to sleep with anymore. Secretly, this makes me a bit sad as she’s growing up. 😢

"Would definitely ignore mil rantings"

Never. My children (11 & 14) still have their ‘special’ teddies, they stay in their beds and stopped being carried around at some point (I forget when) so no, I would never EVER take a comfort object away from a child. It’s cruel.

I am 28 and still have my favourite toy from when I was little.

Tell her to BACK OFF!!!! I am 41 and still have my best...he came to Australia with me and on occasion (big trauma such as a death in the family) he still provides some comfort, plus I've been able to give him to my LO to love now.

That's so mean to take it away, she will grow out of taking it out and about soon enough.

I grew out of my comfort blanket naturally when I got to about 9 but I still have it now, it occasionally gets a cuddle if I'm feeling sad or ill

I haven't rtft - sorry it's 12 frickin pages long but my daughter is 8 and still has her Winnie comforter from when she was a baby and her first cuddly that dh and I bought before she was born (Gordon the giraffe) and she cherishes them. They don't go out with us very often and obviously don't go to school but she would be unhappy to spend a night without them. I wouldn't dream of try to part them and I've made her promise that if she no longer wants them, then to let me keep them because they hold so many memories. What is your dm trying to achieve by stopping your dd have her special toy? Some people have weird ideas.

It’s got naff all to do with dm - leave her special toy alone. My twins have had their special toys since they chose them at just over a year old. They still come on family holidays and are the first thing they each reach for to help them with their emotional needs. The youngest has even made plans for her toy to be buried with her when the day comes! Perhaps dm needs a teddy bear of her own?

My 12 yo dd still has a teddy that she had as a baby. It's not harming anyone. I'd be telling the mil to butt out.

Oops it's your mother sorry!

You come for Mr Donkey, you come for me

Hands off the ted.

The answer is never! She will gradually leave the special toy behind as she is ready. DD is 8, and special toy went to school every day until she was in year 2 and went everywhere. But now she hardly even takes it out of her bed, sometimes it comes down to watch TV but mainly she leaves it in bed. She still needs it for bed, but I'm sure that without even noticing, one day she won't.

My husbands childhood toy and my childhood toy are next together in a shelf next to our bed. (We are sooooooo old)

My husband will be 58 in a few weeks. From where I'm sitting right now I can see his completely bald, "beary" bear from his childhood.

Also, dp who is 32 still has his little purple monkey teddy from he was a baby. He's just about the least sentimental person I know but even when ds tried to borrow steal it he said no and bought him a new one to play with because the little purple one is his.

Ds seems to be going the same way with a microwavable bagpuss teddy that I was given when I was pregnant to relieve some of the aches.

We ended up warming his cot with it when he was a baby and he sleeps with it every night.

I couldn't fathom ever taking away something that brings him such comfort.

I believe John Betjemann kept his scruffy old bear all his life and was not embarrassed about it.
As she gets older your DD will probably just It in a drawer or on a shelf and feel justifiably sentimental when she looks at it.
There are in my experience two types of people. Those who value things to which they have a sentimental attachment and those who haven’t a sentimental bone in their body and will discard just about anything when it has outlived its use. The latter seem to be irritated by the former, of which I am happy to say I am a member.

Never.

My husband kept his favourite teddy into adulthood and gave it to our eldest when he was a baby. Eldest still has it and he's 15 now. He doesn't walk around hugging it, but it's in his room and has great sentimental value to him.

My DD is 7 and loves her blankies! Wouldn't go anywhere without them when she was younger but gradually got less and less! Now they don't leave the house (or get washed) unless we go on holiday! Sometimes she even goes to bed without on accession but I would never just take them from her! I love that she has a little extra comfort if that's what she wants!

I sadly lost my childhood favourite :( but my son is 7 and he loves his cuddly giraffe he has had since birth and it is in his bed, I would never take it off him although he never takes it with him to sleepovers as he thinks he is too big, but at home he sleeps with it every night. I wash it carefully like you because it has seen better days. Tell your DM to back off in the nicest possible way of course

I still have mine. DD had taken hers to uni. Why would anyone take it away

I am 30 something married and with kids and I have a bunny that still sleeps under my pillow and with my DDs too. He smells of home to me.

Still have my very old bear and sleep with him every night.

I would definitely recommend your DD's bear remains at home to "look after her bedroom" when she stays at Grandma's, before he comes to an Awful End.