To have let rip at the school?

[MajorMam]

DS's (age 15) school just rang me telling that DS had taken an axe to school.

It was actually a polystyrene scythe Halloween prop. He shouldn't have taken it if course.

Aibu to think the Head of Year should have checked whether it was an actual axe before she rang me. I lost it a bit because since DS has started there (this September), they have been constantly ringing me about the most minor of behaviour infractions.

DS has SN with associated behaviour issues (not violence) and this is an SN school who were aware of his behaviour before he started BTW.

I think OP must be emotionally exhausted with the challenges to get her son appropriate support and probably felt when she got him a place in a SEN school life would become a little easier.

Mainstream 15yo would struggle with moving to a new school at this age so it must be doubly difficult for a Teenager with SEN. It is an uncomfortable truth that in mainstream secondary schools SEN pupils often end up in sets that include the worst behaved pupils. His new school might be having difficulty distinguishing between learnt behaviour and behaviour related to his diagnoses.

I hope things start settling down OP. I think this time the school were probably correct to phone but should have worded the call more accurately but seem to inundated you with calls that could easily been put in an e-mail. Anyone can get to that point of utter frustration. Hope you have a nice weekend.

I think I have terminal despair! (I picked this up from another thread, thought it was so funny ) Just to lighten things a bit. OP, I'm going to leave this thread now because there are teachers and sen education officer who are the same type of so called "professionals" who damage our children's education and well-being. Particularly the teacher yesterday who blatantly admitted that she had cut a child's provision by half, with absolutely no remorse or insight to the damage she had caused. I wish you luck and hope things improve for ds

A foam scythe which looks nothing like a real scythe is not a fake weapon. It devalues the danger of weapons to claim that it is. In my schooldays, people used compasses and rulers as weapons, and they were a hell of a lot more dangerous.

Fallofrain, neither OP nor anyone else suggests she shouldn't have been informed. The point is that they don't need to be on the phone every day about every incident when a perfectly sensible information exchange system has been set up, and they certainly need to make sure they have the facts straight before they phone about more urgent incidents.

OP has clearly said he didn't take it into school, he had it on the bus and left it there. The bus company had no record of any incident.

No axe, nothing in school.

Storm the school will be interested in what happens on special school transport because what happens on there can spill over into school time, even more so than in mainstream.
Also all pupils on sn transport are entitled to stress free transport so any behaviour that may cause stress for other pupils may be investigated.

This is a bus for SN pupils with an escort as well as a driver. Obviously, there's a close connection with the school regarding behaviour. Op says that the school had said the previous week that incidents would be reported to the bus company by the school, even if escorts and drivers had not reported them. I don't know if this was announced to everyone or directed specifically at Op's ds.

Put yourself in the position of a parent of the other SN pupils on the bus. If Op's ds has done something which has upset your child, would you still be saying the rule doesn't apply because he left the scythe on the bus?

I have clearly said that in my view this was not a minor incident

Oh come on, this is a very minor incident. I hate it when parents or institutions come down like a ton of bricks for small things. How on earth do you teach children the seriousness of certain behaviours if they are punished severely for tiny misdemeanours.

It's the context, Atenco. Smuggling it into school and producing it in the classroom or playground as a lark would be disruptive and annoying, especially as he's already been told off for wearing a skull mask.

In an SN setting, it could also be disturbing for other pupils. Some would laugh and join in, some would get angry if he invaded their personal space or poked them with it and some might burst into tears.

On a school bus, you'd have all those things plus the confined space and the danger of the driver being distracted. Op's ds doesn't think further than it being a lark, but teachers certainly will because of their experience in writing risk assessments.

Pengggwn OK, you did not refer to punishment, but you did say it is not a minor incident. How do you teach children the difference between waving a knife around and waving a foam scythe around, if you treat them as if they were equally serious? How do you bring out the best in a child if they are constantly getting into trouble for even the most minor incidents?

Obviously I have no idea what the OP's ds is like exactly, but it does sound as if he is in the wrong school. One size does not fit all, and with SEN there are a lot of sizes! A 15-year-old (who might be quite big) may be very intimidating to quieter types easily alarmed, and not all SEN have "behavioural" issues. A recently-arrived 15-year-old in their midst could cause upset, particularly if he is scaring people with masks, scythes (albeit a foam one!) and so on.

We also don't know where the OP lives and there may be limited provision locally. Where I live there is a range of options - different SEN schools for those with moderate needs, one for severe needs, and a unit nearby for boys with statements of SEN primarily based on emotional and behavioural difficulties, with residential provision. The latter sounds the type of place for the OP's ds.

DS is 6ft 3 and built like a rugby player so I can imagine he can seem intimidating to other children. Had lots of comments on his size since he started at the school. This also contributed to bullying at his old school as the kids wanted to 'take him down' as they knew how immature he was compared to (8/9 year old mentally). He used to play along thinking they were his friends .

Teachers seem to be intimidated as well as they are stressing that they don't want to agitate him which I do find quite annoying.

Its definitely not the right school but there are no other SN provisions. Mainstream suggested PRU but even they conceded he wasn't the type of student to go there. The next step is residential which is going to a massive battle with the LEA. I can't bear the thought of going through it all again!

He sounds as if he would have made a brilliant Grim Reaper, Op. I'm not surprised he wants to repeat the experience. I hate the modern school system sometimes. It's so regimented and exam-focused. For teachers as well as pupils. Boys like your son would have had a much easier time in the past. Have you looked at the local PRU? I think personnel matter more than Ofsteds. With sympathetic staff, he could find a niche?

Pengggwn
Yeara ago I did something similar to team teach training.
I would absolutely think twice before using some of those strategies on a 6ft3 well built male. I'm only 5ft6 and small frame.

I would be wary of agitating a student who is significantly bigger than me wirh additional behaviour needs. That's not me being crap at my job. That's putting safety first. I don't go to work to be injured and if agitating a student put other students at risk again i wouldn't be willing yo risk them. I would use a range of strategies and then it would come to a point where I would be unwilling to manage the situation alone.

At an old school I've had 4 members of staff called to a classroom before and we have removed the whole class across site on some occasions. Safety has to come first