To have let rip at the school?

[MajorMam]

DS's (age 15) school just rang me telling that DS had taken an axe to school.

It was actually a polystyrene scythe Halloween prop. He shouldn't have taken it if course.

Aibu to think the Head of Year should have checked whether it was an actual axe before she rang me. I lost it a bit because since DS has started there (this September), they have been constantly ringing me about the most minor of behaviour infractions.

DS has SN with associated behaviour issues (not violence) and this is an SN school who were aware of his behaviour before he started BTW.

That sounds really annoying. Youd think a SEN school would not be so shocked by minor behavioural issues

which other kids willingly tried on and were laughing about, but which I was informed he was deliberately scaring those same children with

Can I ask how you know the other kids were laughing about it?
They do sound a bit OTT. Do you think it could be more about disruption from him bringing things in from home, and asking if you can keep an eye on that? But yes, over the top for a fake toy axe.

What Butterfr33 said .. maybe his other behaviour is why the school thought they should contact you..

You were right to complain, you should have expected the normal school response about bringing fake weapons at school, which tends to be expulsion. I know of at least a very recent case where a boy has just been expelled for bringing an object which could have been used as a weapon. And rightly so!

And how dare they contact you about behaviour infractions! It's outrageous. Your child should absolutely be treated as any other pupil, and not be given such a special treatment.

OP< are you for real?

Inappropriate is vague. He's clearly been asked not to bring "scary stuff" to school and has ignored that. Time to start checking his bag?
And I hope you didn't swear at the school or YABU.

looking at inappropriate stuff on internet in lessons

I am speechless. I bet other parents from the kids in the same class are less so.

Long discussions with school before he was accepted about his immature, inappropriate social interactions. They also had report from mainstream school which tutor informed they had received. LEA also discussed this with them.

Head denied this week having received anything from previous school and stated they had no information about previous behaviour.

The school sounds exactly like my 14 year old dbros. He has been kicked out so many times and practically been in detention for 2 years straight over minor infringements ie talking in class/ wearing trainers/ having a fizzy drink not water. Some schools are way over the top. My dbro ended up with depression. Please talk to someone to sort this as its already affecting your sons mentl health. Also i call bullshit that a group of mainstream 15 year olds were frightened of a halloween mask.

Well most of that behaviour does sound like a good reason for the school to phone you. You're excusing your sons behaviour because of his SN. Parents and schools need to work collaboratively in order for children to be supported yet it seems to me like your at loggerheads and looking for any excuse you 'let rip' at them.

Our local school phoned the police over a nerf gun ...

Oh sorry i thought he was in mainstream school.

It could certainly Not have been used as a weapon.

Inappropriate internet use was bringing up horror film trailers with another child, daring each other. They should have been supervised while using it.

The school sounds exactly like my 14 year old dbros. He has been kicked out so many times and practically been in detention for 2 years straight over minor infringements ie talking in class/ wearing trainers/ having a fizzy drink not water. Some schools are way over the top. My dbro ended up with depression. Please talk to someone to sort this as its already affecting your sons mentl health. Also i call bullshit that a group of mainstream 15 year olds were frightened of a halloween mask.

How is it the school's fault that your brother refuses to follow the rules?

Also i call bullshit that a group of mainstream 15 year olds were frightened of a halloween mask.

I'm not sure there'd be much call for 'a group of mainstream 15 year olds' in a SN school.

I saw "let rip" and thought you meant you'd farted

I'll see myself out.

I bet that gave the police a good laugh.

Xpost

It's not a mainstream school Martha so those children also have SN and some may well have been frightened.

OP the school don't sound great but of course they are not going to acccept this behaviour. You and they need to step up and manage it - you by keeping a closer eye on what goes into school and them by finding a more effective system of rewards and sanctions.

Martha is your db depressed because the rules also apply to him? He sounds like a total pain in the arse tbh.

If the teacher believed it was real, then it was realistic looking and the school did the right thing.

It could have scared the teachers and other students, as well as being disruptive.

I would be scared if someone pulled out an axe in front of me.

Behaviours are hiding in toilets, playing with sticks in play ground, looking at inappropriate stuff on internet in lessons, saying inappropriate stuff to other kids - which they were aware of before he started as all part of his SN and long history of in mainstream.
You do realise that the point of a SEND school isn't to say 'oh all those behaviours that you weren't allowed in mainstream are all now ok'.
It's a different environment and different approach to education but it doesn't mean they'll accept students being inappropriate to each other or browsing the internet in class.
Maybe a bit of support towards the school would go a long way instead of getting annoyed at the school for expecting a child ti follow rules.

Rebecca I thought I was the only one who understand the OP to mean that she’d let out a massive fart at school High five! (Or pull my finger if you prefer)

Did you say this was a specialist SN school, OP? It seems very odd that a specialist SEN school would feel they can't cope with this level of behaviour/have a strategy or suggestions in place.

When you sat down previously, what did the school suggest, and have those suggestions been implimented at home and school?

NB the thing about fake weapons and the rules at school (& indeed in RL) are not because they can be used, but because they can create fear and intimation. For those on the receiving end, thefts using fake guns are as scary as those using real guns! I'm not saying your ds' fake axe was necessarily a good enough fake for anyone to be fooled, but that's why schools have to be absolutely strict on any fake weaponry. And if your ds' school is anything like ours, they'll have done lots of work over recent years on how to cope with a single armed intruder (knife/gun) - schools rightly take this shit pretty damn seriously.

Wow, I'm torn here as I don't think it's right for an "axe" to be brought in, even if not real but also the school seem to be over-reacting.

One of ds's friends ( year 10 ) came in recently in a Bin Laden mask

High five! (Or pull my finger if you prefer)