DH just invited his mate over for Christmas Day

[Robyrollover]

Just told me. Asked him whilst out at the weekend apparently. He's going to be on his own if not.

We already have my Dsis and family joining us, who have never met this friend, and aren't social by any stretch. BIL in particular is quite reserved.

I have said categorically no, it will be awkward for everyone (even I don't know him well, it's been well over a year since I've socialised with him), but he can come Boxing Day. I appreciate it's not in the spirit of Christmas, and if it wasn't for my Dsis I'd welcome him with open arms. Dh says I'm being a bitch.

So, over to you Mn... AIBU to say no?

Can I come too?

He should have discussed it with you beforehand but it's really harsh to withdraw the invite now. It feels bad enough to be a spare part on Christmas, without being explicitly told you're not wanted.

He should have asked you first before inviting his friend but as that ship has sailed now I think you're going to have to accept it. It would be rude to disinvite him now.

Why bother having your sis and BIL over if they are so anti-social and reserved?
Sounds boring as hell for your DH.

Do you not think it would be a tad awkward spending Christmas Day with someone you don't know?

I'm more furious that he didn't check with me first, we had weeks of discussion before agreeing to have Dsis over, so that might have impacted my response.

And yes, I do everything. DH doesn't particularly 'get' Christmas so I'm left with everything.

YABU. It's OK for you to invite your sister and her family, who have each other, but not OK for your dh to invite someone that would otherwise be alone?

Your dh sounds lovely BTW.

(People can feel lonely and isolated at Christmas ... make a difference!)

I wouldn't want anyone who me or DH considers to be a friend to be alone at Christmas.

I have invited friends who were alone on Christmas in the past and would do it again.

I am eternally grateful to the families that invited me to join them for Christmas in my early 20's when I was in a very shitty place with my own mother and father before I met DH.

I can see why it wouldn't be your preference but since he's been asked I would. If I'd asked a friend a similar position, i'd expect DH to welcome them.

As for your other unsociable guests, they're adults and show grow up and deal.

Oh that’s mean, the poor chap. I’ve passed on visiting my family at Christmas many times in the past to host people who would otherwise be alone.

Mean.
Last year we were supposed to be having a 24 year old cage fighter that I had never met coming for dinner. He was going to be on his own so do invited him (he asked me first)
He didn't end up coming as he met a new girlfriend and spent it with her instead.
More the merrier I say.

Nobody should be on their own at Christmas. It's good that your dh invited him.

When my mum was alive, we had all sorts of random people at Christmas. I loved it, we had some really good times.

Today 22:07 AlpacaLypse

And with a bit of luck he'll be one of the nicely brought up ones who go and do the washing up without being asked.

He's not - last time he came over he didn't even manage to put his knife and fork together maybe why it's been over a year since I've seen him

I think you’re mean, the more the merrier at Xmas. Don’t tell your SIL that someone else is coming then they won’t have time to get in a ‘‘tis about it. Just say it was a last minute thing.

Also your H is awful for calling you a bitch. Does he often call you nasty names?

DH invited our elderly neighbours this year to ours, as well as both sets of grandparents and my sister / her new partner (we've never met).

He's also planning on asking another neighbour who we know will be alone.

YABU - were never social BUT it's the season of goodwill, and I'd hate for people to feel lonely on Christmas Day.

It's awkward to spend Christmas with people you don't know, but not awkward to withdraw an invitation and leave him on his own?

Maybe your DH would like some company of someone more sociable. This bloke might make better company all round.

He should have run it by you first, but even then I think you would be VU to say no, if the poor man would otherwise be on his own. In this situation, however, when the invitation has already been issued and accepted, you would be VVVVVVU to make DH retract it.

Perhaps you can use this as your 'in' to make DH pitch in on Christmas Day?

"YABU. It's OK for you to invite your sister and her family, who have each other, but not OK for your dh to invite someone that would otherwise be alone"

No. WE invited my Dsis. After lengthy discussion

My mother had a weird tradition of always setting an extra place setting on Christmas day in case somebody dropped by (nobody ever did). Don't know where the tradition came from. But I thought it was a nice thing in a way. Christmas day is a bollox of a day to be alone on. I know it's just another day, but you still feel lonelier than any other day when you'd be on your own.

My mum used to do this to us every single year! Somebody somewhere would be included and we'd hardly know them! But at least in your case it's your husband's friend and there'll be a group of you already!

I'd say yes of course but I'd make sure your H pulls his weight putting the meal together.

I think you should let him come to yours on Xmas Day it's not nice to be alone I have been and it feels so lonely. This the season of goodwill to all men...go on you would be making someone really happy....be nice...merry Xmas

I couldn’t bear the thought of someone I know spending Xmas day alone!

Come on let him come over and do it with grace!

Dsis are ok with us. They are just dreadfully shy. They're not horrible people for that. Blimey