DH just invited his mate over for Christmas Day

[Robyrollover]

Just told me. Asked him whilst out at the weekend apparently. He's going to be on his own if not.

We already have my Dsis and family joining us, who have never met this friend, and aren't social by any stretch. BIL in particular is quite reserved.

I have said categorically no, it will be awkward for everyone (even I don't know him well, it's been well over a year since I've socialised with him), but he can come Boxing Day. I appreciate it's not in the spirit of Christmas, and if it wasn't for my Dsis I'd welcome him with open arms. Dh says I'm being a bitch.

So, over to you Mn... AIBU to say no?

It's really no big deal to let him come. Yabu

So much anger on this thread.

It's really no big deal to let him come. Yabu

You have him then, since it is for OP. PM her your address and she can pass it on

YANBU - has mumsnet gone Mad?

Your lazy DH who doesn’t ‘get’ Christmas and doesn’t do anything for it, invites some random friend that you haven’t seen for a year, and you know is lazy to boot, and you are supposed to suck it up?

Fuck that! I like socialising and like having people over but why would you have some random useless bloke sat on your sofa all day, conveniently letting your DH do even less than usual.

Nip that one in the bud. If you have to put up with it then ensure that DH cooks and friend brings wine and flowers in advance.

Otherwise DH is going to do shag all, friend will do shag all and you will be fuming.

I couldn't see anyone alone on Christmas Day. If one of my dhs friends was in that situation they would be more than welcome. YABU

Jesus Christ! Lazy, selfish men who offer no help or support are not entitled to have a woman run round after them just because it's Christmas Day! OP you really need to put your foot down if your partner truely didn't "get" Christmas then he would have seen anything wrong with his mate spending the day alone would he?

I'd say he can come but there is no way on earth that you will be doing everything. People feel so sorry for this random guy not having a Christmas, well what about yours? Your partner helps, or he can fuck off and spend the day with his loser mate at his place.

There's an awful lot of people practically begging to have the mate over instead of you @Robyrollover - such kind souls and I'm sure every last one of them really means it too.

Suggest you DM them all and you'll be knocked over in the rush to host him, and any one else we can dredge up for them to bestow their largesse on too. Anyone who doesn't win the prize of most bountiful, pass them onto me and I'll pass the addresses round the group of homeless people I was with this week.

This thread has gone nuts

Love the suggestion of offering him up to all the do-gooders that wouldn't want him on his own

Yes, he should have asked, but damn, that's harsh. Poor bloke.

OMG sorry: I should have RTFT. OP, you did the right thing. Someone did this to me once, and swore blind they'd prep the veg, do all the washing up, lay the table etc. Did they fuck. I ended the evening at midnight, washing up in my new pyjamas while they chatted and watched TV next door. Never again.

And yeah, they were both men. Over and out! disgruntled stoat

OP you said that you were the one having doubts about your sis and family coming over - so presumably that means your DH was in favour. Now he's invited his friend.

Just a thought but do you think he has a fantasy of a glossy magazine Christmas, twenty people round the table type of day, playing the great host dispensing wine. spirits and other largesse - while you do all the work and worrying?

If so, tell him to do one.

ShotsFired
😂😂
Spot on.
PM Name this poor chap OP, maybe hold a raffle prize on who gets to cook his dinner and buy him present.

Sometimes throwing something else into the pot can make for an interesting stew! Or something like that!!!!
Anyhow, your Dsis and DBil sound boring, so spice it up a bit.
My Ds never failed to turn up on Christmas Day with some waif mate who would be on their own. It usually "made" the day.
Let him come!

I get the introvert thing, I really do. However, I couldn't stand to think of a friend being alone on Christmas Day and would have invited him myself. I don't like the sound of you doing everything though and would plan as much as possible in advance to spread the load. Maybe everyone could bring an assigned dish or two and a Secret Santa present?? That way, everyone is included equally.

Meanwhile the BIL does nothing. The evil lazy bastard.

Yes, it does seem that many people on here would love to host this lazy bugger themselves, even though they will know him even less than the OP.

I bet if OP took them at their word they would soon disappear. It is just words they bashed out on a keyboard under the cloak of anonymity on here.

Laughing at raffle

As an update- DH has just come home and apologised. He realised his error very quickly and took it out on me. He's going to chat to his mate and get him over in the evening for a sleepover. He knows as well as I do it would be hellish for all, so there we are, even DH doesn't think IABU anymore

Let him come but make DH do the lot, cooking, shopping, organising etc. That'll stop a repeat next year!

Also laughing at evil BIL - he's the most hands on of us, and even doing the shopping as I will be working right up to Christmas Eve this year

Sorry for the slight derail but if anyones interested some cities have facebook pages such as stephen's wish-liverpool where you arrange to meet up with other people and distribute clothes and homemade food to the homeless.

I think I killed the thread with my suggestion. Who'd a thunk it.

Glad I read your update before I posted something rude ans unpleasant about your dh.
Wtf has happened on this thread though? I can't believe so many people thought ywbu.

Roby, it does just show how some of the idiotic keyboard warriors who post on here presume that they know absolutely everything there is to know about someone and their situation from a few short posts on an internet forum.

When proven wrong, or the sane posters take over, most of them disappear, though sometimes not all.

Pleased to hear it, OP! Kudos to your DH for admitting he's been daft.