In not wanting to be a feminist

[tireddotcom72]

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

I guess if you want to live in a world where you are only valued for the way you look, what will you want to happen when you reach 50 and you don't have them anymore? It's fine to have 'old-fashioned' values if you personally benefit for them, but what if one day it stops. What will you do then?

I don't know who the "PC brigade" are. I had to Google the Sleeping Beauty thing as it's not something I have heard about despite the fact I read/ watch the news every day. It's one person saying it, and it happened to make a tabloid newspaper. Hardly a 'brigade' is it?

We all have the same surname too.

I just thought of quite a funny joke in my head, but I won't repeat it.

How funny, OP hasn't returned

You clearly don’t know what feminist means, it’s equal rights for men and women. If you don’t believe in that you should be ashamed, and I feel for your daughter,

It’s fuck all to do with how you dress or if you like getting your arse felt. I mean seriously, I’d be embarrassed to have posted what you just did.

What the hell do you think feminism is???

And being a feminist also means staying at home to look after your children and 'cook your husbands dinner' and still being your husbands equal.

Would you prefer to stay at home and be seen as lesser than your husband, or equal to your husband?

I’m not young, but I am fed up of being told what I should or shouldn’t believe in because I’m female, I got told at uni years ago by a radical feminist lecturer I was there because I wanted to be equal to men no I wasn’t I was 18 and at uni to avoid getting a job for 3 years!

I don’t want to live in a society where men can’t even pay someone a compliment for fear of being accused of something, I don’t want to have to be careful of how I teach history or literacy at school in case somebody somewhere gets offended,

I just want to get on with my life without constantly reading about feminist issues / gender issues and all the rest I have a right to have as little interest in that as I have in political issues brexit and shitty reality tv.

Oh ffs

I can't believe people are getting sneery over mentioning Caitlin Moran

I'm not saying she's right or she's a definitive guide to feminism or that feminism is a hive mind where everyone agrees on every point but she's a nice entry level, easy read for someone like the OP.

I don't think pointing her to Dworkin would be the best way to get her to realise that feminism isn't about not being allowed to like pink.

I consider myself a feminist, but I completely understand why some women don't like that label. The tone some of the patronising, condescending replies to the OP are only likely to reinforce her view.

Women should be free to live their lives as they choose, without having to justify their choices to fit in with what feminists say they should think.

If some women say "let men be men, and women be women and vive la difference", then who are we to judge?

I don’t identify myself as a feminist OP, I’m an equalist. I stand for EVERYONES rights.
The definition of feminism implies exclusivity to women’s rights. However, we are now in a time where women are paid equal to men, we have every right they have, we even have ‘women only’ shortlist’s in politics.
I think men’s rights matter too. The right to be taken seriously in DV situations is a particular concern.

@catgirl1976 maybe you’re right but I’ve spent a whole day pandering to arsewipes with no critical thinking skills between them and quite frankly I can’t be bothered.

And yes, I agree with Bluntness it’s embarrassing when women say they aren’t feminists for

0/10

You can be whatever you want. If you don't want to indentify with a particular political group or ideology (even one that purports to serve your best interests) that's your choice and your right. Unfortunately feminism means a lot of different things to different people. I strongly believe that men and women are of equal worth and if equal value to society and I also strongly believe that they should have equal rights and opportunities. Many people think that that alone is enough to call me a femenist and if that's what they think then they are welcome to call me that. However there are a lot of things that have been touted as femenist that I do not agree with like positive discrimination and the pressure on of women to pursue careers blind to everything else. There are a lot of femenists and femenist ideas that I agree with whole heartedly but there are a lot that I find laughable, disgraceful or even hypocritical. I don't choose to call myself a femenist and that's also fine. It's not because I don't think that men and women are equal, it's because I think that many consequences of feminism have adversely effected women and do not agree with femeism 100% (if that is even possible). Generally when people tell you off for not support femeism they are talking about the underlying principle of equality that ties together different femenist movements rather than femenism as a whole.

I got told at uni years ago by a radical feminist lecturer I was there because I wanted to be equal to men no I wasn’t I was 18 and at uni to avoid getting a job for 3 years!

So, just to clarify, do you want to be equal to men or do you prefer a society where you are not equal?

YABU. I am not bringing my DD as gender neutral. I am bringing her up believing that having her bum pinched is a harassment and no woman with a bit of self-respect considers it a compliment.
Also, I don’t think you are real.

What a depressing post. Anyway, you can't reason with stupid.

Please carry on simpering at men who pinch your arse, and being grateful for receiving a lower wage than your male colleagues, and having no aspirations for your daughter.

Baffled by why the fuck you think taking care of your appearance has anything to do with not being a feminist. But as I said, you can't reason with stupid as fuck.

& I agree OP I don’t want to live in a world where chatting up/flirting/approaching a woman is synonymous with ‘sexual harassment’

Congratulations, you special snowflake.
Meanwhile, in plenty of places around the globe, girls are routinely shunned on a monthly basis when they have their period and 12 year old girls are forced into marriage. But as long as you don't mind being groped in a nightclub, eh?

Wait, you're a teacher?!
I fucking despair.

You might not have minded having your bottom pinched but please aim higher for your daughter

Well said, Wine

tireddotcom72, there’s a big difference between not wanting to be part of the whole feminist thing, and wanting to live in (what reads as) your very narrow view of the world. It seems you want to live in naivety and a world of little bother - unfortunately until many issues are dealt with then that’s not possible. One of those issues is treating women like they are play things - ‘tell her she’s pretty, pinch her arse and you’ll have a good day’ type mentality. As I said, that is a very slippery slope of ‘what can I get away with’, as all these recent stories in the media has proven.

As for not wanting to mind offended someone over history and such, I’m not sure what you’re implying here but I doubt I’d like the answer.

However, we are now in a time where women are paid equal to men

Shorty, you and I are clearly living in different times then because women do not get paid equally to men and do not have the same work opportunities.

People are only motivated to change and push for whatever affects them personally ....

YANBU . From a Feminist (age 55) whose GM was also Feminist.

Oh for fucks sake, she's a teacher. Tell me where so that my son never goes there.