In not wanting to be a feminist

[tireddotcom72]

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

OP - your views and lack of knowledge could, and probably do, affect the 4 year olds you teach. At age 4 my children (I have boys and girls) knew, in very simple terms,

• what a general election is
• that there was a time only rich men, then only men got to vote
• suffragettes (although they couldn't remember the word) fought to get women the vote
• that some adults and other children will say pink/dolls/toy kitchens are for boys and blue/cars/dinosaurs are for boys but that is silly because they liked to play with both.
• that girl guiding doesn't usually allow boys in its units but scouts does because there was a time when girls weren't allowed to do the same things as boys
• that playing football at a club for boys and girls will usually mean there is just one girl there and any boys aged 5/6 or above are likely to give the girl a hard time and the adult present should stop it (but probably wouldn't succeed)

At age 4 my children, boy and girl, were affected by feminist issues. Their Pre-School and Reception teachers had to deal with issues such as pink vs blue and the girl who was excluded by the boys playing firefighters. And so on.

I therefore totally expected their teachers to have a better understanding of feminism than you do. Hell, my kids at that age had a better understanding than you do and they'd probably never even heard the word!

Yeah - I'm like this. I'm a feminist secretly but too embarrassed to be associated with the label now, given how a lot of them behave and the shit they come out with. I don't belong in a militant rude man-hating "professionally offended" brigade.

Teacher? Nah...not buying it.

Aperol did you actually read my post or did you just see I agreed with the OP and assume you knew what I was going to say? I wouldn't understand either if I was trying to retcon my mistaken assumptions with something stated in the second sentence.

Being a feminist means you believe in equality.
So by not believing in it you are stating that it is ok for a man to be chosen above your dd because he has a penis and she doesn't.
It is like saying person A is better because they have white skin as opposed to person B because they are black.

I can't believe that in 2017 anyone can admit to this I really can't.

Aye, you stick it to the woman, OP. None of this women's lib bra burning nonsense, eh? Let's just all be chattels, lying back and thinking of England whenever our husbands want to have their wicked way, having had to give up working in certain jobs when we married. Bugger all those piffly pc things like being able to take out a mortgage, or vote, at least men might start opening doors for us again if we renounce feminism, eh?

If this is real then it’s fucking depressing. You don’t know what you’re talking about. And I really hope you’re not really a teacher.

I'm on your wavelength too OP.

You seem to be very confused about the meaning of feminism.
The last thing I want is a gender-neutral society, but I absolutely want equality. It's very sad that you don't want that for your daughter.

I’m definitely a feminist. I can’t add anything that hasn’t already been said but OP, I just want you to know - if you or your daughter are ever sexually assaulted, I will believe you. If you come on here for advice or just to vent, I will believe you and I won’t minimise or victim blame.

I'm totally with you OP. Well said.

I completely agree with original posters comments and views, however I am a feminist in the exact definition of the word in that women and men should be treated as equals. But I am not a feminist in the way that a lot of women use the term "nowadays". I do not hate men, I do not moan about men every chance I get and I do not have a chip on my shoulder about being a female.

tireddotcom72 Thu 23-Nov-17 21:52:18

Some are just hairier than others. Men and women I mean.

I wouldn’t want a man removing that hair either!

_

Gosh, yes, I hear that some people have exceptionally hairy hands. You cultivate that hair and wear it with pride, you dashing little anti-feminist, you.

I teach 4 year olds so no need to worry my “ignorance” will influence them

Oh but I do. Nothing like teaching children from a very young age about male privilege is there.

Sorry, pressed send too soon. I just feel that’s important to point out to people who post stuff like this because I’d hate anyone not to get the support they need because they’re too proud to admit they were wrong.

Every job I have done since leaving uni - overseas resort rep / retail management / cabin crew / teaching I have been paid exactly the same as men, had exactly the same opportunities. Can’t compare my role in the beauty industry as I was self employed and don’t know any men who do that job.

Lucky you. Do you think that has always been the case? Or do you think you're benefitting from men and women who fought to make it so? Do you think that in this day and age that's true for all women all around the world?

I'm not a feminist by UK standards at all

So you don't believe in women's rights based on the principle of equality of the sexes?

And toes, @PickAChew

You must be winding us up, OP.

I just refuse to believe that there are still real women who are that vacuous and that ill-informed about what feminism is in the twenty-first century. Because that is too bloody depressing for words.

I used to think like you Op, then I did a module at Uni about gender development throughout the world... opened my eyes to the fact that women are persecuted for having a vagina. My ‘I’m alright jack’ opinion quickly started to vanish.
I also watched this... www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05d9kmg
It really opened my eyes to how I was behaving. it’s a shame the whole thing isn’t still on iPlayer, the drip drip drip we feed our girls in society has a huge impact on their self esteem.
For example, In the programme they ask 7 year olds to describe themselves, the boys pick words like ‘brave, strong, funny’, the girls pick words like ‘pretty, ugly’ to describe themselves. They ask them what they want to be when they’re older and the boys say ‘prime minister, astronaut’ the girls say ‘married’. Depressing.
I want better for my kids, that’s why I’m a feminist.

I do not think the word 'feminist' means what you think it means.

I teach 4 year olds so no need to worry my “ignorance” will influence them

You're a teacher?! Fuck. You don't understand what feminism is, how it's benefitted you, and why it's VITAL for your daughter.

You witter on about Kardashians and pink frills and 'being PC'? Absolute disgrace.

I really, really hope you are just a GF.

Such a depressing post. Your head is firmly in the sand op. Like a lot of people. A part of me doesn’t blame you though. It is much easier to be in denial. It may be worth remembering that you and your daughter owe every ounce of Privilege you have to a Few very brave feminists.

This says it all