To wonder how SAHM/Home makers keep their shit together?

[Emlou07]

Now I know I probably am being unreasonable, as I know I’m very lucky to be in a position where I am able to be at home with my children while my other half works. But 4 years in and I STILL haven’t worked out how to keep the kids happy, the house tidy, the washing done and everything else in order!

I am no domestic goddess and I’m starting to wonder if those who do it effortlessly are in to black magic or something! 🤔

Maybe those people who have clean and tidy have cleaners ?

I was thinking the same thing today.Although I am having to work part time as well. It's hard.It feels like my son's 5&9 go around after me and mess everything up. My eldest always has done anyway,I'm forever going on about it to him.
We have a small dog as well which gets dog hair everywhere. I'm having to vacuum everyday. Put washing on before school run.Do the washing up after school run,empty bin. Do ironing later if I have time. Do my job . Tidy up after,if there are toys to put away. I do shopping after school run as well to keep my kids occupied. They always say they are bored after coming from school. They get into mischief if I take them straight back home

Maybe those people who have clean and tidy have cleaners ?

Yeah what with cleaners being the only people who can keep a home clean and tidy.

I dont. I only have 2 kids but DH works away for weeks at a time and I lose my shit daily

7 years in still clueless still run around like a headless chicken

You just have to get on with it. I worked evenings for almost five years and took care of washing,etc during the day. Stay off FB,etc and set a routine and get on with it. It's not difficult nor rocket science. And yes I was a SAHD

And yes I was a SAHD

Would you like a certificate?

Love this thread. I sometimes feel like a crazy lady using naps and Bathtime to do laundry, clean bathrooms, change beds, hoover and remove as much dog hair as possible from the atmosphere. It’s nice to know it’s not just me. My worry is, what do I do when DS doesn’t nap? Or what if we have more?!? 😱

Definitely black magic - I went back to work part time to justify why things don't get done ...

The laundry pile though is a total mystery. I do not understand how other people get so many loads through the wash and out the other side in one day? Has to be magic!

MrJones1977

Think it was the comment about staying off Fb that hurt

I do all those things everyday for a few hours and work 3 days a week. My house is in order 99% of the time. But the truth is, it takes away from my children and is majorly stressful. I wish I had the ability to push some stuff to the back of my mind and I admire women who can leave the washing till tomorrow and spend more time with their kids. Keep doing what you’re doing! The only person judging you is you

I would love a certificate

I have recently become a SAHM after 9 years of working and can honestly say I was more organised when I was working full time. My kids are 9 4 and 1 the older 2 are either constantly fighting or messing up all the tidying I have done whilst they were at school.
Nothing ever seems to make them happy, I think they appreciated me more when my time with them was scarce.
I will be returning to work when the baby is 3 and I cannot bloody wait!

Hi Emlou :)
Let me tell you something .
RELAX !!!

I was just like you.
I was fortunate to stay at home with my little one.
I couldn’t stay quiet, so I became a childminder ! I stayed at home with mine and more 5 other family kids.
And guess what ? I went fucking mad !
I kept the whole house tidy and clean, I cooked fresh dinner every night, I even used to do packed lunch for DP and DS every day.
I went mad ! Yes, now I need therapy, becaus while Iwas perfect and wonderful for everyone, no one did the same for me and I lost my self steem, and find myself lost and alone all the time.

I had a great progress along the years. I couldn’t wait for my little one to start school.
I knew that the career I had would never come back. I work d my axx off in sub-jobs to try to get into the market again... still didn’t Get there (6 years after DS was born)

Now, I started volunteering to achieve something for myself.
I gave up trying to KEEP everyhing clean and tidy. My kitchen stays the way my family leaves it for 3-4 days.
And I am SO happy that I achieved this freedom lol
I found something to do that I have to leave my house at 7am. My DP takes care of taking children to school every single day (and he is not coping lol 😂)

So.. what I mean witt this is....relax!
Keep a routine that you can cope and don’t do what you can’t do !
You are not a machine. If you don’t do it is not the end of the world.

I don’t do dinners daily anymore. We cook food for the week on sundays.
I wash clothes only 1x week on Fridays and clothes are folded sunday... if I fold ... I am happy, relaxed and feeling so much better than the OCD phyco that I was.

:)

I managed it. You just do it. I could not have survived otherwise as messiness makes me anxious. And yes I played with DC, washed my hair, did my make up. Multi tasking and organisation is what it’s about.

Staying at home all day every day with children especially small ones is the hardest job ever ! Give me work any day unfortunatly it's never been financially viable for me to work & I have ended up not being the great mum i wanted to be but ended up tired grumpy miserable smelly lazy & angry old cow !

Reading with interest!

Been a SAHM since redundancy on maternity leave six months ago. Have a one year old and a two year old.

Can't find the bottom of the wash basket, in fact before long won't be able to see the bathroom floor for washing!!

Nearly broke my wrist the other day sliding across the floor on a plastic toy whilst holding one year old.

Fighting a losing battle with housework so have decided best thing to do it .....go out so I don't have to look at it.

I love kids but my own drive me mad, my house looks like I never clean it, and the school run on the bus quth three kids exhausts me and I my OH is a man child that is just as demanding as his children. I love my family but some days I would have it any other way, preferably on a beach with a book and a cocktail...ALONE.

I thought that the original 'keeping their shit together' was going to be about keeping sane rather than keeping the house nice. I stayed at home (mostly.....with a little bit of regular freelance stuff) and, in common with all my SAHM friends, definitely had periods of lowness and anxiety.

Each day I give her breakfast then make beds and tidy upstairs, then put a load on, fold and put away the load from the day before. I then get her and me dressed, walk the dogs and feed them. I then stick her in front of the telly and have a shower. I put bins out wipe and sweep kitchen. I do all the childcare, entertaining, most of the household admin, pet care. Baths and bedtime etc at the weekend dh actually cleans the house and is very good mid week as well. Dd always tidies her toys before dinner. It helps that I ruthlessly de clutter the house regularly so it is easy to clean and tidy. No drinks or food anywhere except the kitchen. No toys in the kitchen.

What about people who work and have their children at home whilst at work? I work four days a week and three of those, DS 23 months is at my house with grandparents. Yes said grandparents are good as gold and will put plates in the dishwasher etc (that is, if it’s been unloaded!) but I wouldn’t dream of asking them to do any chores or tidying because they’re helping out enough looking after DS. So my home certainly does not stay immaculate when I’m at work!

OP I felt like I got very little done housework wise when I was on mat leave, but actually when I went back to work I discovered how “useful” I actually was as all the tasks I got done in the daytime have to now be done in the evening! So I’m sure you’re actually doing more than you realise. Try and do the basics eg dishwasher load/empty, laundry if needed and general tidy as you go along, and don’t try and blitz all your cleaning at once just do little and often. I often give the bathroom a wipe down whilst DS is in the bath! And he loves the hoover so once a week (ish) DH will hoover whilst DS “helps”. It’s definitely doable. My house is by no means spotless but it’s tidy every night before bed and is clean enough!

Stopping wasting time on mobile etc helps. Had a neighbour who thought similar about not managing to get "sorted". Asked her to note how much time she spent on phone, social media etc and she was astounded. Switched phone off until after school run in afternoon and miracle upon miracle tasks were done with time to spare.

Being a SAH anyone is bloody hard work - lost my shit years ago, so no togetherness here between my shit and myself. I always said that at least when I was working I finished at 5pm but no such luck when you have kids, it's constant and the house was (is) always a bloody mess as am I