To wonder how SAHM/Home makers keep their shit together?

[Emlou07]

Now I know I probably am being unreasonable, as I know I’m very lucky to be in a position where I am able to be at home with my children while my other half works. But 4 years in and I STILL haven’t worked out how to keep the kids happy, the house tidy, the washing done and everything else in order!

I am no domestic goddess and I’m starting to wonder if those who do it effortlessly are in to black magic or something! 🤔

[AnnaMariaWhiskers]

How do I keep it together? I'm not sure I do. I was ill in bed for most of the weekend and everything's out of control round the house and I'm so behind now. Plus naughty step useage before 6am and me on tears for 80% of the time before the morning school run today, makes me feel so guilty. I work evenings so do all the sahm mum stuff during the day (1 at school, 1 at home) then have to have a fully functioning brain by 5.30pm. But I feel so privileged really! (Sorry for random rant, I'm tired!)

[littleducks]

Was thinking of this thread when I lectured my kids this week. When they come home after school (when i'm at work) they have taken to snacking on cereal.....but seem to spill it everywhere.

So much for your house staying clean and tidy if you are out at work all day

[Emlou07]

Well it's 06:30 and I've been up since 4. All I wanted was a coffee in peace.. 2.5 year old has already been down and sent back to bed once.

My house is in a reasonably acceptable state! Eldest is at nursery today so we're off out later for mindless window shopping and lunch. Knowing my luck, I'll come home to a house trashed by the cats [haha]

[Vik1ng]

Dumbledores
yes I’m at home with a baby, how did you guess 😂 And I was so looking forward to being SAHM for all that lovely 1 to 1 time in between school run. Naive of me I now know! 1 to 1 time comes at expense of state of my home. If I give my time to running the Home then I get no quality time with baby. I take comfort from you saying it gets easier as they get older. Although I suspect it won’t unless naptimes get considerably longer!

[GrouchyKiwi]

sayhellotothelittlefella
The shopping game is GENIUS.

[2ManyChoices]

OP. Fancy a coffee and a look round my house?!

[Hobbitfeet32]

I work 3 days a week. DH works full time, long hours. My house is generally clean and tidy most of the time. Kids are 3 and 6. I think the key is to be very organised. We meal plan for the week so shop only 1-2 times per week. Washing done almost daily. On work days this is done either before or afterwards. Sometime cook double soncan reheat the next day. Packed lunches are made whilst making the dinner/whilst clearing up after dinner. Tidy up toys before bathtime. On my days at home with myn3 year old I generally don’t tidy until bedtime as it’s a complete waste of time. I do make sure that she doesn’t get every toy out though and has to put some away before getting new ones out. Also try to involve her in ‘helping’ like hanging up washing, putting own clothes away, emptying dishwasher.
I do have a cleaner for 2 hours a week which is a massive help.
To those SAHMs that think there’s less work to do if you work I will say that we have the same amount of laundry, shopping and meals to do as 76/84 meals (4 person household) are made at home. And as a poster further up thread just stated that a lot of mess can be made in 5 mins by kids which there is time for after work.

[sayhellotothelittlefella]

I do have one or two tips for getting DC involved in tidying - IME LOs aged 5 and under love playing shops so set up a till of sorts, give them a bag each and tell them that all the toys on the floor are for sale
For older DCs set a timer and just say we are going to do 10 minutes in this room and that's it. Set the timer and then make sure you stay and tidy with them to keep them on track.
Each of my DCs from the age of about 11 has one day a week that is their dishwasher day. When younger their day was joined with DH ( mainly in an effort to get him to do a DW occasionally )
Mind you I still live in a tip so maybe I'm not the best person to give advice

[jwpetal]

My kids are 10 year old and twin 8 year olds. This is the first year that the house has not been destroyed by their toys. they tidy a lot more and they don't play with all those little tiny pieces that go everywhere. My friends that have super tidy houses took all the toys away and now the children just have computer games. I would rather have the mess.

[secondhoneymoon]

Re my previous post, I now see what you mean OP. I worked part time when mine were little and of course there was more mess than when they were in nursery and looking after children means that you're not just free to do housework etc. I do appreciate that SAHMs don't have it as easy as some people think. If you work, you are forced to think and plan ahead (and by that am NOT saying that SAHMs don't plan ahead before I get pounced on!), just that routine is more enforced. It's about running a home as efficiently as is ever possible with little ones making that difficult and we can all learn from each other on that. For example,
Meal planning, batch cooking and freezing, preparing the next day's lunches while making evening meal.
Build in tidying away toys or craft materials into the day's routine with the children's help (i.e. Before lunch; before TV, before teatime). Decide what MUST be done and don't fret about the house being perfect. I never cracked all of this by the way, just sharing some of the things that helped me

[Evelynismyspyname]

I'm not in Russia Yolo but interesting the concept also exists in Russian but not English. Google translate tells me your russian word translates to Erzieherin, so yes.

[MrJones1977]

It really is just a case of getting into a routine. I had a mental list that covered each day. It works but you will still have days where you just can't be areas,but that's life. We invested in storage drawers to combat the living room toy invasion. It does get easier. And although I don't like what we do being referred to as a job,I do respect those who just juggle it all and seem manage.
I did have to laugh at a comment about having to load the dishwasher,try doing them by hand two or more times a day.

We do get carried away and must remember we're parents and not competing in some bizarre competition to outdo each other.

[YoloSwaggins]

*воспитательница even

[YoloSwaggins]

I live abroad and there's a word which doesn't translate into English very well, for the work a parent does in nurturing and "raising" their children - it's the same word used instead of the word teacher for qualified early years (3-7 year old here) teachers.

воспитатьльница?

[thehairyhog]

'Wipes for everything in every room. I’ve got bathroom wipes in both bathrooms, dusting wipes upstairs, kitchen wipes, floor wipes. Not eco at all but they are always to hand when I have 30secs to do a job.'

This is depressing. Not 'eco' at all, but will tell everyone else to do it too

[GrouchyKiwi]

I love Kondo. I'd also love the time to do it. I last did it three years ago.

[ohhelpohnoitsa]

You all need a bit of Marie Kondo in your lives. Try it, it makes life easier after the initial VERY HARD and messy sort out.

[sayhellotothelittlefella]

I'm a SAHM and never mind keeping 'my shit' together I don't even know where 'my shit' has gone

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Thanks, I try most of them but have given up at the multiple outfit changes.

[DowneasterAlexa]

Well, my tips would be -

All food and drink consumed sitting at the table / in a high chair

If they are old enough to get it out, then they are old enough to put it away.

All art / drawing supervised at the table.

No clothes changed except for dressing up.

Each person has their own laundry basket - do one persons washing a day. If it's not dirty, wear it again. Fewer clothes means the washing can't pile up.

Fewer toys. Less access to toys if they just tip the lot out.

Have small children in the same room as you so they are not creating chaos as you tidy somewhere else.

The more regularly you clean, the quicker it is to do it. Routine helps.

Don't iron.

Set a time limit to complete a task.

Sorry if any of this has already been said.

[Ledkr]

My mantra (after having cancer years ago) is you won't remember a clean house on your deathbed but the things you did instead

[InDubiousBattle]

My kids don't trash our house but they do make mess. They're 2 and 3 so can have a good go at tidying but I have to supervise it. As I said in my previous postl my friends who work ft just do not have the same amount of housework to deal with. My friend who's dc is in nursery buys a bunch of bananas, a pack of crumpets and a pack if yogurts a week for her ds because he has all of his meals at nursery. I make practically all if my dc's food so can you at least see that there is more shopping and cooking?

Honestly, I find this ' I do everything you do and work ft' as baffling as it is annoying.

Op, I have a clean and (mostly!)tidy home. Things that really help are:
-lots and lots of storage

• everything has a place
  

-my dc still nap some days

• I don't procrastinate when it comes to cleaning
  
• it means a great deal to me that the house is nice so I don't object to it taking up some of my time
  
• I have a big porch and a play room!

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

I suspect the OP (and I!) posted in the hope of tips to get the kids more helpful and less destructive but instead got flamed for having it ‘easy’ as a SAHM.

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

To me, trashing the house means getting loads of toys out, emptying drawers and cupboards, spilling food and drinks. Getting changed multiple times a day, getting whole drawers of clothes out when they get changed. Pulling books off bookshelves. Any of these can be accomplished pretty easily in the 5 minutes you are changing their younger sibling.

Some of that may be them actually thinking they are ‘helping’ .

Of course I’m not saying they do that all the time or that mine do that (and mine are older now anyway) but there are plenty of options for destruction. Let alone behavioural issues such as drawing on walls (constantly confiscate pens. It older siblings may get them out).

[MissDuke]

Oh and since we moved and got a playroom, life has been so much better!!!! It is just a conservatory, but oh my goodness has it made life better!