I do like his wife from what I know of her she's very well grounded and has helped my son grow up in the time they've been together, they only got married last year and the wedding was lovely, small affair with only a few people invited. I never thought of her as "daughter in law" like I never thought of my husbands mum as my "mother in law" she was always my husbands mum. I don't want them to come over out of duty, I do really enjoy seeing them and of my children DS is the one I have most in common (not that I don't love and like DD I do it's just DS and I have a lot more shared interests).
GD has hearing aids, not cochlear implants but thanks for the links. She has been an impatient a couple of times but generally has a lot of appointments with outpatients, I'm not sure what they're all for. GD doesn't talk but does understand loads and signs a bit, I'm not sure what language she signs in, but I am going to ask to try and learn a bit so I can talk to her. She doesn't always bring toys when she comes here, sometimes DS will ask if he can put TV on for her, but it doesn't seem to be any particular program she likes. I am going to look at some toys for my house maybe, I can move bits of furniture out of the way to make room for a toy kitchen or something. I'd love for her to have toys here so even if they're a copy or repeat of what she has it'll be worth it.
Unfortunately I'd have to invite DS and his family here as although I can drive, I very rarely do, last time I drove was about 2 years ago and I'm not insured on either DH or DDs cars. DS and his wife do both drive though.
My husband has only recently been the way he is due to his treatment, he's the same with friends has the attitude that if they care they'd get in touch with him/offer him help.
DHs last round of treatment for the year is due to be on the 19th December, but as always tends to happen it could get delayed and even 5 days delay takes us to Christmas Eve, he has an eye condition which needs treatment every 4-6 weeks and the day after treatment he can't see and needs me around to help as he's not able to drive or even dress himself for 24 hours - my dad or sister drive us to and from the hospital. He's having an operation in the new year which should hopefully fix the problem for at least a year while he awaits a more permanent fix, so I may need to cancel last minute which worries me.
I'm thinking of texting this:
"Hi DS, DIL and GD, I'm sorry I seemed so non-committal on the phone yesterday I'd love to see you all over Christmas but it might be a bit tight for time because your dads last treatment for his eye for the year is supposedly on the 19th December but often gets delayed so could be after then. I'm off work between 18th December and 6th January if you have anytime over the holiday to pop in your more than welcome, if you tell me in advance I can even have a meal ready for you all, is there anything in particular you want? Does GD have a favourite meal? You said she's not fussy but she must have a favourite I can have ago at making. Of course if you choose a date and the treatment gets moved to there I will let you know ASAP and we can rearrange. Hope to see you all soon, mum xx"
Does that sound ok? I really don't want to impose. I know the wifes mum lives around the corner from them and helps with childcare so I know they might go there on Christmas Day, should I invite her mum as well? I've only met her a couple of times, but she seemed nice enough.