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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Umm, what a dick move?

325 replies

user1497545304 · 18/11/2017 19:31

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

OP posts:
BlackberryandNettle · 19/11/2017 14:26

Ellas are everywhere for what it's worth.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 19/11/2017 14:30

Just call her Elle anyway.

monkeywithacowface · 19/11/2017 14:30

It was a dick move and you have to counter it by swinging a big set of hairy balls in her face and call your dd the name you have chosen.

Grilledaubergines · 19/11/2017 15:27

Call her Eloise. Much classier than Elle, in my opinion.

Grilledaubergines · 19/11/2017 15:28

Millions of Ellas around. Even Rihanna wrote a song about one 😜

FizzyGreenWater · 19/11/2017 15:37

Send a text to EVERYONE you know telling them that she's had the baby and called it PirateBumSmell

LadyGagarden · 19/11/2017 15:42

YANBU. I would be really annoyed but would probably try to be charitable and blame it on the pregnancy hormones. Personally, if they will be going to different schools, clubs etc when they’re older, I would stick to what you wanted. If they are going to be at the same school etc then I would give her a different name. You never know, you might think your baby doesn’t look like an Elle!

washingmachinefastwash · 19/11/2017 15:48

You can still call your daughter Elle.

You don’t own the name or similar names to your choice.

CoraPirbright · 19/11/2017 15:54

Total dick move!! I would be absolutely furious! Yes, yes no one owns a name blah blah blah but you had discussed this name at length with her. Go ahead and call yours Elle and if she even dares to be WTF with you about it, you can let fly your frustration with her by roaring ten times louder ‘dont you even start with WTF with me - you knew full well what we were intending to call our baby’.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/11/2017 16:57

Or, chose another name (I agree with those who are saying that Elle is a bit naff, sorry Blush) and then:

'Oh yes I know - we were so set on Elle weren't we! But I've heard it everywhere the last month or so and it really put me off - at least two Ellies, heard of another Elle so EXACTLY the same, then you decided on Ella and I just realised how overused it is. You're right though, Ella does suit her, we just realised we didn't want something so popular in the end'

:)

confusedlittleone · 19/11/2017 16:58

Why are people only blaming the sil? A baby has TWO parents, and I highly doubt baby's dad doesn't know her name

Thebluedog · 19/11/2017 17:03

Just call your dd Elle, I’m not seeing what the problem is.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/11/2017 17:27

Confused I think it's because it's the sil she is close to and discussed names with, so on a personal level it's the SIL who has let her down-? I do see what you mean though.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/11/2017 17:28

Another idea: get hold of a copy of the DD birth cert and impersonate SIL and change the baby's name to DefinitelyMia - you have 12 months to do it

flumposie · 19/11/2017 17:55

Stick to the name you want. Why should you have to change it? Make it clear to everyone that this was always your intended name choice and that your SIL chose her daughter's knowing that.

UnicornRainbowColours · 19/11/2017 18:01

Why don’t you name her something like Eloise and call her Elle for short?

NinjaPig · 19/11/2017 20:11

I still can't get how rude some posters are being about the OP's chosen name!!!

If she has her heart set on ELLE, it's no one else's place to slate it, or to offer alternatives, when she's obviously not asking for that, she's asking if her sil is a dick or not. . . Have a bit of empathy!!!

RoseWhiteTips · 19/11/2017 20:14

Call her Elle. Don’t worry about what the charming sil has done.

RoseWhiteTips · 19/11/2017 20:17

Why not Ellie? It’s a pretty name.

Rachie1973 · 19/11/2017 20:20

Maybe the SIL loved the name Ella from the start and was compromising with Mia for you? The fact you 'helped' pick a name speaks volumes to me.

Then when she was born just wanted what she loved?

ToadsforJustice · 19/11/2017 20:33

Dick move. Call your DD whatever you like. Avoid SIL. She is a nasty caaa. SIL will piss on your chips even more in the future. Watch out!

TheNaze73 · 19/11/2017 20:55

I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill

Boulshired · 19/11/2017 21:18

I like the name Elle but it is also the short option for most names beginning with El. I know a Eleanor, two Ellen’s and an Ellie who all go with the name Elle.

ThisIsMyUsername02123 · 19/11/2017 21:22

Please don't let your SIL put you off a name. Stand your ground and call your child Elle with pride. You will feel much better for it in the long run.

Congratulations and good luck with the birth. x

Butterymuffin · 19/11/2017 23:44

Estelle is lovely and will allow you to call her Elle. And just tell your SIL that she is Elle Smile