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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Umm, what a dick move?

325 replies

user1497545304 · 18/11/2017 19:31

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Iwillneverbethin · 21/11/2017 13:31

Called my little girl Adelia.

Really uncommon and get lots of positive feedback (plus DH and I love it, so that's most important).

You can used Adelia if you like.... Grin

flowery · 21/11/2017 13:32

"My sympathies to any Eleanor's out there"

Did I miss something? Why do I need your sympathies exactly?

I'm Eleanor and get called El by family/school friends/university friends, Ellie by another set of friends and Eleanor by everyone else/for work. I'm happy with any/all of them.

It wasn't a very kind thing of your brother and SIL to do. See how you feel when baby arrives. When DS1 arrived he didn't look like either of our two shortlisted names so we had to revert to our long list to find the right name for him. That might happen, if so fine, if not, call her whatever you want anyway.

ChocolateBubbleBarsmakemefat · 21/11/2017 13:36

Don't change your name choice just because she has picked a similar name. You have picked a beautiful name that she was fully aware of. Stick to your name choice and don't be put off. She is out of order by the way

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 21/11/2017 13:43

Adelia is the name of George Clooney's sister isn't it? How do you pronounce it Iwill?

Flambola · 21/11/2017 13:47

Iwillneverbethin - love Adelia. I'm putting that on my list.

DumbledoresPensieve · 21/11/2017 14:25

My cousin and I were pregnant at the same time and we are close. Neither of us knew what we were having nor did we tell anyone our planned names.

Her baby, a girl, was born a month before mine. Her name choice was a similar first name and an identical middle name to my first choice girls name. I remember when I was pregnant feeling a bit irrationally cross and upset about it. I never said anything though perhaps I knew I was being stupid. And I didn't get too worked up either because I could have had a boy anyway.

Of course, I also had a little girl. Kept the similar first name and changed the middle name. Told her afterwards and we both found it funny. Obviously we just have similar tastes! She told me she wouldn't have minded if I'd have used to middle name too - I wouldn't have given how close our girls are but there was no bad feeling.

It's annoying but you can still call your daughter Elle. Nothing stoping you at all.

Iwillneverbethin · 21/11/2017 14:35

Wow IlostIt I had no idea about George Clooney's sister - it was my grandmother's name.
The easiest way to pronounce is like "Amelia" with a "d".

Thanks Flambola - you go!

OP - Elle is beautiful too.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 21/11/2017 14:45

I just typed Adelia into Google and George Clooney popped up! I think it's a pretty name and must mean a lot to you being your grandmother's name.

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 21/11/2017 17:11

I have 2 cousins with the same name as me - first and last names, until we married. Never had a problem, I quite like it, a family name.

Greenicicle · 21/11/2017 18:15

My late DM used to say "they bring their names with them" meaning I guess that sometimes you look at a new babby and just know what it should be called

Boysnme · 21/11/2017 23:04

How about Isabelle Mia. Or if you really want to wind her up Isabella Mia. But seriously if you still love the name Elle when your baby is here, call your baby Elle. My DH refused to consider any name that had any sort of association with any person he knew. It was a nightmare. So when we finally settled on a name it’s turned out to be a popular one and his best friend & a good few more in the class have the same name. It doesn’t bother my DS in the least.

CosyLulu · 01/12/2017 03:51

OP, what did you decide to do in the end?

nousername123 · 01/12/2017 11:58

This is why I haven't told people what we are planning on calling our child. Everyone keeps asking and we say we don't know because women can be catty. If you love the name Elle, then stick with it. If there's another name you love then go with that instead.

Iwillneverbethin · 26/04/2019 21:59

OP, what did you decide in the end?

contentedsoul · 26/04/2019 22:14

I suppose you could call her Eleanor, as she grows Elle for short.

IadorethenameChloehadmychildbeenagirl

englishdictionary · 26/04/2019 22:29

Seriously?

Who pulls up a thread that's over a year old to ask what someone named their kid Confused

Skittlesandbeer · 26/04/2019 23:12

Whatever you end up calling your girl, I’d likely spend the next two weeks telling everyone in the family how much you adore the name Ella, even more than the name you’d chosen, Elle.

That ‘Ella’ really opened your eyes, and that you’ve decided to go with that yourself. How wonderful it is in other cultures, that cousins are routinely named the same, that it really is sweet and doesn’t cause all the problems that ignorant people think it does, won’t it be lovely for the girls growing up, etc.

Then revert back to Elle after she’s born, if you like. And tell anyone who bitches to you that you are flattered SIL went with a variation of your chosen name. Nothing else.

Skittlesandbeer · 26/04/2019 23:13

Sorry- should have checked for zombie thread status. Never thought to!

Rosesaredead · 27/04/2019 14:14

They're different names. Of course you can call your baby Elle! If my SIL used the only name I loved I'd still use it and not care.

BasilTheGreat · 27/04/2019 14:47

Call her Elle anyway . It’s a beautiful name. She’s already your Elle and you would never be fully happy with another name.

englishdictionary · 27/04/2019 16:28

The child will be over a year old by now. It's a bit late to suggest what to name her.

Iwillneverbethin · 27/04/2019 22:33

*Seriously?

Who pulls up a thread that's over a year old to ask what someone named their kid* 

Closure English, I need closure GrinWink

PregnantSea · 27/04/2019 23:16

Don't change the name! Still call her Elle.

PregnantSea · 27/04/2019 23:16

Oh... ANOTHER zombie thread?

Ihatehashtags · 28/04/2019 01:37

My SIL did that. She used both the first and second name I had told her I loved and yes I was pregnant at the time. I was fucked off.

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