Umm, what a dick move?

[user1497545304]

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

I second Estelle with Elle as a nickname, Estelle is much nicer than Elle imo

OP, while I don’t think it’s a problem, I think you should choose a name you love and not feel pushed into Eloise, Elise, Elsie, Elodie or any other variant just because some Mumsnetters have decided to pass judgment! Personally I think that’s pretty shitty behaviour on a thread of this nature.

Congratulations on your impending baby girl. Call her Elle as planned and enjoy the lovely snuggles.

Stick with Elle, it's a lovely name and a million times nicer than Ella. She knew Elle was your name so she's hardly going to be able to say you copied her.

Use the name you intended - why not? Don't let anyone put you off, and there is no reason why you can't - no rules about how many times a name is used in a family. Not a kind thing for your SIL to do thought.

I know cousins both named Arthur

We have loads of Michaels in my family. I also have two cousins with the same first name and surname! Two sisters who married two cousins. The girls were born in the same month! This is the generation above ours and they saw it as a compliment to share names! Much healthier outlook, I think.

I do see why you would be upset, but name your child what you want. In years to come when they grow up and go their own ways it really doesn't matter. I wouldn't not call my child because of someone else. However I would be pissed off YANBU. Just don't change your name.xx

YANBU that's really annoying.

Same thing happened to me. So mean! I picked another name which I now actually prefer lol

Call your dd Elle, get a pet rat & name it Ella

YANBU but id still call my daughter Elle!

No judgment here Elle is a lovely name I just thought it would be a helpful suggestion.

Just my two ‘penneth but I love Elodie and Gabrielle

I don't know. There's a chance she already liked the name, and then you started banging on about it and she felt she couldn't say anything. Then, once her baby was born, she wanted to go for the name she originally liked.

I remember talking with a close friend when we were both pregnant about names we liked. She mentioned a name - and I mentioned it was also on our list (I think it was in the top ten most popular names). She gave me daggers and I made a mental note to never speak of names again.

Call your baby whatever you want to call it.

I don't understand why you can't still call her Elle.

It may seem like a big deal now but in the future, it will be a total irrelevance that she and her cousin have similar sounding names.

In lots of families, cousins have the exact same name. I just wouldn't worry about it at all.

I have two nieces and one is called Ellie and the other is Ella and they are sisters. So I don’t see your problem.

I'd had my heart set on any further daughters being called Scarlett Hermione. I'd only mentioned it to 2 close friends and never my brother. He called his daughter Scarlett Hermione. I wasn't bothered, as I thought I'd never have more children. Fast-forward a year, and I now have a Helena Luna, which suits her perfectly.
Personally I don't think that Elle and Ella is a bad mix and could actually be quite sweet having similar but not the same names. It's also a beautiful name, I'd still use it.

I totally see why you are upset. Your SIL sounds a cow 🐮 She could easily have spoken to you about this beforehand if she cared about your relationship. Sorry OP

Your baby, your choice.
What bothers me is posters saying names they wouldn't use are 'horrible' or 'not nice' or 'chavvy'. Don't they realise that somewhere on mumsnet there is a member with a loved child with that name? Probably dozens.
For what it's worth I like Eloise, Elodie, and Eleanor, along with lots of others.

Thank you to the poster who said Ailsa was a lovely name as its been mine for 45 years...for about 40 of them I've hated it as I always have to spell it and get Alison, Alisa, Alissa etc so be warned those of you with 'normal' names, sometimes those names parents think are cute and different can feel like a life sentence, lol!!!
I don't think OP is being U as I'd be annoyed too - different if you hadn't discussed it, but this feels underhand!
Stick with Elle and make it her problem, she can't say she didn't know! It's the beautiful and classic French version of the (Italian/Spanish??) Ella I assume? On the other hand, take heed of those who warn about 'LP' type jokes, but then nobody will know what they are by the time she's at school

It wouldn't wind me up too much in all honesty.

Elle and Ella are very different names Imo. YEs I get that there's only one letter difference, but the names have a very different feel. Plus there will be about 19 others in their year when they get to school.

Enjoy your babies, let it go.

My friend was upset when her sister 'stole her favourite name.' It was Laura which wouldn't have suited any of the 3 boys my friend later gave birth to!

Whilst it is irritating, there is nothing you can do or say. Don't renege on your decision about Elle, therein lies a lifetime of simmering resentment!

I can understand your disappointment but just go ahead and call your baby Elle if that is what you want. As for people saying never divulge the name beforehand, this wouldn't work if you had decided on Elle (kept it secret) and then your SIL also kept her chosen name secret and then announced it as Ella! This could mean that whoever has the baby first 'gets' the name first, if you don't want similar/same names. I suspect that your SIL always deep down liked your chosen name or something similar. I chose not to reveal the names of my children beforehand simply because I didn't want any comments on whether people liked it or not - people tend not to be too rude once it's announced. If you live in certain parts of London, Elle will be pronounced "Eow" or be the shortened form of hell ('ell) but still pronounced "Eow". Pronounced properly, Elle is a beautiful name so just go for it if you have your heart on it.

Is her baby registered yet? I’d let her know that you’re absolutely still using Elle and let her deal with it. Don’t let her spoil your choice, she made the decision to be difficult not you.