Umm, what a dick move?

[user1497545304]

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

A little annoying but they are still different names. I named my DD a very similar name to my niece (my sisters DD). She really didn’t mind and I really don’t think it matters in the grand scheme of things. It does mean that we always get names mixed up when they are together but to be honest that happens with all the cousins anyway!

Cousin can have a similar names, when I was pregnant is said to my sil, I love a name but close to dniece name. She said don't be silly call her that it's a lovely name. I did gave her a different name, but everyone still interchanges their names anyway...

What an unpleasant thing for her/her dh to do. Not a problem if she’d given you a heads up, but this way is just sneaky.

My advice is to still go with Elle, but in all honesty if this had happened to me I would probably change because the name would have an annoyance attached now

Call your baby Elle regardless

Elle isn't a stand alone name, nor is Ella, so you are both BU. They are both nicknames for longer, more elegant names e.g. Eleanor, Isabella.

Lots of replies here but I hope you see this op. I know how crushed you feel as this just happened to me. We stuck with our choice and 6 weeks on it's still a bit weird but I'm glad I did stick. I did have a word as I was so raging but now I wish I'd played it cool. when you see your baby you will feel better about it all

My SIL Ava’s two daughters who have names just as similar as those. It confuses me! But they are lovely names so it’s nay bother.

I would go ahead and call your baby Elle. But I totally understand how you’re feeling about this.

And the whole ‘you don’t own the name’ replies are utterly ridiculous and infantile.

As if anyone, ever said she owned the name.

SIL *has two daughters.

Stupid autocorrect.

Just text her, tell her the baby is gorgeous and how fummy they’re going to have such similar names

There’s also Nell if you prefer.

It's a shitty thing to do.
Still, just go with Eleven - I'm sure name will be soaring through the charts this year ;)

Also, no newborn on earth "looks so much like an Ella". Probably more like an Arthur or a Derek.

Definitely a case for small claims court.

I'd say to sil 'just to let you know that I still intend to call my dd Elle as always. Just in case you'd find it weird that the names would be so similar-obv it will be a bit odd but I'm sure we'd get used to it'

I wouldn't dignify SIL's action by texting her. OP has nothing to justify.

Totally agree with pirates and pants on the text her- even if you don't use the name this will show how upset by it she is. If the answer is quite upset then she has been very rude. If the answer is she thinks it's lovely then you know she really didn't see it as taking your name.
Which of course you should still use no matter what.

Choose whatever name you like, your SILs choice is irrelevant surely.

Tbh I would have found issue with this situation when at the pregnant and newborn stage and it matters less as they grow up. Two older children / adult cousins called Ella and Elle is no big deal.

Why don’t you call her Belle instead? Just adding one letter to change the name

YANBU. Exactly the same thing happened to me. In my case v unusual name, pinched by a family member.

You’re going to need to be the bigger person now or everyone (in the family) will unfortunately see you as the difficult one. You’ll get over the name thing quicker than you think, the betrayal maybe not so much

As others have said, use your first choice if you want to. Elle is a lovely name but quite popular, so yours won’t be the only Elle/Ellas in the playground. However, now’s your chance to choose something you love even more. There are some really beautiful name out there - if you want something French how about Fleur?

Good luck for the birth of your baby

I'm having my secomh son and finding boys names hard! Have been purposefully vague when discussing baby names to avoid people being rude.

If I was having a girl tho I wanted Esme or Elodie. I think Elodie is beautiful and unusual and could be shortened to Elle?

I do think your sil has been unreasonable a bit but may well have always loved the name Ella but not wanted yo say?

Love Elodie. Such a pretty name. Lovely girl at our school with that name as well.

Call her Elle.
If SIL comes to see you tell her you’ve called her Ella as she looked like one. 😈
Joking, joking...!

Call her a different which you can derive Elle from. Gabriella? Isabella? Annabelle? All gorgeous. Screw the similarity... If anyone asks say you'd decided on it already, bil (db?) and sil knewand had to alternate a little to differentiate from cousin. You can call her Elle still at home.

Sorry not v well written! Sure there are more names containing ell too.

I'd either stick to Elle or call her Bella Mia

Have a brainstorm maybe for things containing Elle. Keep the decision to yourself though in case sil suddenly switches! Elsa Olivia? Isabella Maya?

Look up Ella from Rab C Nesbitt.