Umm, what a dick move?

[user1497545304]

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!

AIBU?

Never tell anyone the name before baby arrives!

Too late for that. Sil has fucked you over royally and I would be livid. There's infinite names she could have chosen, why on earth take yours.

Draw up a new shortlist with DH and decide once baby arrives.

You can still call your DD Elle. It's not as if SIL doesn't know you've chosen it.

Honestly, call her Elle if that’s the name you want love!

What Battered said.

She's done you a favour, Elle isn't a nice name.

MY sil did that. Called her for example Clarabelle and we wanted Clara
Used a different name as Clarabelle May well have been called Clara. As it happens, they say her name as if it’s 2 names so Dd and her cousin WOULD have both had the same name

Is there any chance she forgot? As much as you say she knew, things like this are never as important (and memorable) to anyone except those it means so much to. So maybe you mentioned the name to her, she didn’t remember but just had a nice feeling about the name?
Happened me when I turned up to my friends wedding in a near identical dress to the bridesmaids. I had been told about their dresses but completely forgot and felt terrible when I realised I was essentially a stunt bridesmaid.
If you chat about these things, you must have been close enough so while I fully understand how you’re feeling, and it must grate, in 20 years it’s not going to be a big deal. Your baby will fit the name you choose whatever it is.

What about something like Elise? Sounds different but Elle as a nickname?

Why not choose Gabrielle or Isabelle? Elle can sound like an initial. I agree with you, though, she's being unreasonable there.

These threads always make me laugh.

Yes people don't own a name but you really can't have cousins born a few weeks apart called Ella and Elle. Especially not as parents are close (and kids will be too!)

I would be hugely pissed off in your position OP, do you have any back ups?

Elle/Ella is an incredibly popular name. It’s starting to become the new Sophie/Isabelle in ubiquity.

Name your daughter whatever you want, but she is going to have a school career as Elle P. (Or whatever our surname is).

Your SIL will have the same. You didn’t invent this name and this will be the first in many, many times in her life she will have the same name as others.

You don’t own a name

this is such an obnoxious mumsnet expression. I'm sure the OP knows that ffs - it is still bloody fucking rude to purposefully use a name you know has been chosen by a close family member already.

YANBU OP. I would probably tell her how unimpressed you are, that you don't plan to discuss it again but that you want to get it off your chest that it was a dick move.

Call your baby Phlypyn with Elle as a middle name?

Use the name you planned. Yabu for being annoyed. You don’t own the name.
My cousin and I have the same name. Not done me any harm. Actually I like it!

I think you've probably had a lucky escape to be honest. I can't help imagine the name Elle emblazoned in Swarovski crystal across the arse of a cerise velour jogging suit.

Use this as an opportunity to choose another name and chalk it up to experience.

Call your baby Phlypyn with Elle as a middle name?

My cousin once insisted on not telling anyone the name of her next baby at all. I don’t see her ever and never even talk to her but we’re are friends on Facebook as we are related. She posted a PA status on there saying how she was so angry at having to drop one of her favourite names for a boy because she’d seen it being used. Shortly before this PA post I’d posted a picture of our new cat and his name. Apparently the name she was angry about was our cats name and she was angry at me for using it despite the fact I had never known what her options were. It’s not like she couldn’t have used it her child would never have met our cat. I’ve never met the kid so I don’t see why my cat would have lol.
I do think it’s a bit shady but life is too short to rename a child because someone went for a similar name. You either love a name or you don’t. Go with what you want.

My MIL's dog is called Elle.

I think SIL has done you a favour, it's a horrible name.

"Call your baby Phlypyn with Elle as a middle name?"

I can’t see why you can’t name your child Elle. Just do it. She knows it’s your top name and knew you planned to call your child Elle

I would be annoyed.
I probably wouldn't use it now, unless you live in totally different towns?

Name her Elle. Its not the same name, it's a bit shitty of her, but meh...

Make it clear to your SIL that you will still be naming her Elle. She might well change her daughter's name.

I met some recently who had a son and nephew with the same name. It was also the name of both fathers! So one woman had a husband brother, son and nephew with the same name!