to have just cried when DS told me this? (edited by MNHQ)

[ReallyNormalForNorfolk]

He's only just turned 7, and appears to have worked it all out for himself. Santa doesn't exist, does he mummy? It's just you and daddy isn't it? I honestly didn't know what to say. I don't like to lie exactly, and sort of changed the subject to how you can believe in things that you can't see - like love, different people's gods, etc. He then said religion was a load of rubbish and not true as he had never seen an angel come down from heaven. Fair dues, a rational analysis I guess, but I was hoping that this moment wouldn't be quite so soon.
He is in fact a very rational little boy, and I don't want to lie to him, and give him the time to make his own mind up - but I am sad to say I did shed a tear or two because it seemed like such a loss of innocence/watershed type growing up moment. I said "should we forget about xmas then?" No, he still wants the presents! I haven't confirmed or denied anything - just feel a bit awkward about it all -wwyd?

7 year old DGD outraged last Christmas when older schoolfriend told her Father Christmas wasn't real. She is also very logical and took great delight in going back after Christmas and triumphantly announcing that there was definitely a Father Christmas AND he had reindeers because she put a mince pie and a carrot out and they both got eaten. Case proven.

Really are some miserable gits on this post! Saying that a child lacks logical and critical thinking for believing in the magic of Santa at 10? What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with believing in a little magic in childhood. Could be worse the child could be a miserable cynical grump like the majority of posters on here. A mother is upset because her child has stopped believing in something magical. She has every right to be. If the same mother and same 7 yr old came from a very religious background and the child doubted said religion would youall be cracking up and telling her to wise up? No you wouldn’t! Let her mourn the passing of a little magic from their lives. Science was originally believed to be nothing more than witchcraft and magic, yet look what it’s done for society! I’m sure if Alexander Fleming had been abused for his belief in science a lot of us wouldn’t be here. There is nothing wrong with believing in the impossible!
OP my oldest is 6 and the thought that he could stop believing so soon had genuinely upset me. I Hope we can get to the end of primary school with him still believing and if we can get longer that would be amazing! Life is miserable enough without stripping all the fun, magic and make believe out of it

For those of you discussing the logic of believing in Santa have a look at this article about what and we believe in fantasy creatures.

www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/11/06/is-bigfoot-likelier-than-the-loch-ness-monster

What and why.

Meh I don't think it matters that much OP, my DM sat me down before the start of year seven and told me Father Christmas wasn't real, she didn't want me to get teased at secondary school, I didn't still actually believe at that point but I had gone along with it because it's part of the magic of Christmas. I'm 23 and I still get presents from Father Christmas via my parents and I don't live with them anymore! It doesn't mean you have to stop doing it.

I think my nine years old still believes, is he humouring me?

Probably.

I remember a conversation one Xmas morning with my brother. We both admitted we didn't believe but decided not to tell our parents.

Its a shame but you'l be thankful its all fone and out the way mine asked last year before xmas he was 10, we said we'd tell him if he asked and he did..he cried i cried and he also found out about tooth fairy too 😢 we still enjoy the magic as we'r both still very childish and we still do everything we did before..even santas drink-we argue over a baileys or a whiskey it can still be magical its what you make it!

I'll never forget the day I found out santa wasn't real. Not because I was scarred for life and it ruined Christmas forever...

...because it was my dad's work's Christmas do and when I went up to Santa to receive my present, I recognised him as my dad's workmate, pulled off his beard and shouted, to the horror of all the other children, "hey, that's not Santa, that's Bob Downes!" Very tearful pandemonium ensued.

I was 5 and everything was illuminated. Like how Santa knew the previous year that I really wanted a Rainbow Brite doll when I'd only told my dad. And how my parents were lying, scheming arsehats. (Turned out the previous year Santa actually was my dad).

“It is sad, of course. The magic of Christmas only seems to exist in children who still believe in Father Christmas.”

The magic of Christmas for kids is the wild excitement that they will get presents! Mine LOVE their Santa sacks, havjng a stocking, presents under the tree, the tree, getting the decorations out, helping decorate, the whole atmosphere, hearing carols, family visiting, the big feast, setting fire to the Xmas pudding etc etc!

We still all played the game of Father Christmas long after they sussed it, sack left out, etc.

You really set yourselves up for disappointment if you hang so desperately on the need for True Belief!

Jeez Titty, do you really have to refer to it as “lying”? It’s just something some of us tell our kids to, you know, make them happy. It’s not perjury ffs.

You can dress it up however you like: every single adult that tells a child that FC/Santa brings them presents on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer knows without a doubt, 100%, that it isn’t true. Of course it’s a lie.

Merry Christmas, Titty...

Ta. And no, your bum doesn’t look big in that.

My DD coped with finding out FC was us but was devastated when I also then admitted the Easter Bunny wasn't real

my dd believed til she was 10 but I sussed it out by 6

all kids are different. Knowing a bit early honestly didn't ruin anything or traumatise me

Have not RTFT but wanted to say something supportive - unlike most of the first replied.

OP, Completely fair enough to cry. It is the end of something and it's emotional as your children grow up, even though the next phases are brilliant in their own way. My DD believed at 7. this may be the year she won't believe but hope she wouldn't spoil it fur the younger ones.

So hugs from me

Children grow up on their own terms. He is just an early developer. But don't worry he is fine!

I would say this though, just because he is an early developer now, don't assume he will always be and make sure he is always engaged with children his own age and doesn't drift overly to socialise with children older than himself.

I would say that Santa is a way of taking on and passing on a kind idea of giving gifts and being generous to people. Because the original idea is attributed to someone other yourself, it is attributed to Santa. Some people believe there was a real man and gave him the title of Saint because they thought he was particularly good. Either that or people constructed a myth for the purpose of passing on a good idea without boasting about it being their’s. Added to that I would explain people’s love of embellishment to stories and making traditions exciting and mysterious.

You can dress it up however you like: every single adult that tells a child that FC/Santa brings them presents on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer knows without a doubt, 100%, that it isn’t true. Of course it’s a lie.

Lie is the wrong word to describe Santa.

Mine is 7 and while he hasn't said anything about not believing in Santa, he hasn't mentioned Santa at all this year. Last year it was thousands of questions about how he gets in and how he knows what presents to get.
I'm guessing DS has worked it out but decided to keep quiet in case it means the presents stop

But its not a case of either believe santa is real or you have a miserable christmas. The point is that you can have a magical christmas and know the truth.

It seems a lot of children get very upset and cry when they find out the truth, wouldn't it be kinder to avoid that? It is possible to have your mince pie and eat it.

My parents thought I believed until I was 11 (and they tried to have a big, serious conversation about how I needed to know the truth since I was going to secondary school). I'd actually figured out the truth at 6, through spying on them filling stockings to prove my suspicions, and spent years being a bit bewildered by the fact that everyone was lying - when I told my mother that I knew the truth, she just said 'if you don't believe you won't get any presents.' So of course I pretended. Very convincingly, apparently.

I didn't think of it as a lie when I honestly believed and then discovered the truth. I did think of it as a lie when, knowing the truth, I was essentially coerced to pretend that I didn't. I was a rational child, too, and literal-minded.

I really don't understand all the crap about it 'ruining the magic.' It's supposed to be a nice make-believe story for children. It shouldn't be the only thing that makes Christmas special.

I really don't understand all the crap about it 'ruining the magic.' It's supposed to be a nice make-believe story for children. It shouldn't be the only thing that makes Christmas special.

This, exactly. Christmas is special. the story of father Christmas is part of the specialness of the season. Some people seem to feel that 'true belief in Santa is the ONLY special thing about Christmas, once that is gone there is nothing else'. To me, that is just bizarre.

Your boy is fine. He’s realised something which is actually true

Exactly. Hugely over-dramatic nonsense about "ruining the magic of Christmas" instead of being pleased at your child's evident intelligence.

I think the magic is the n choosing and giving of presents to those we love.
That’s why I hate the whole “only presents for children” thing.
We buy presents for adults without resorting to tat or breaking the bank.

Who doesn’t have a single thing they’d appreciate - a book, a bar of green and blacks, a bottle of wine, nail polish or nice candle, fancy tea or coffee. It really is the thought that counts and we involve ds in shopping (he’s also always chosen party gifts for his friends).

Lie is the wrong word to describe Santa.

If I say something that isn’t true, it is a lie.

How else can it be described?

It’s not imagination, nor magic. It’s a lie, perpetuated by adults who encourage children to believe it without question. It’s a lie.

Babies being delivered by storks = lie. Easter bunny hiding eggs = lie.
Fairies swapping teeth for money/treats = lie.