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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have just cried when DS told me this? (edited by MNHQ)

299 replies

ReallyNormalForNorfolk · 16/11/2017 16:37

He's only just turned 7, and appears to have worked it all out for himself. Santa doesn't exist, does he mummy? It's just you and daddy isn't it? I honestly didn't know what to say. I don't like to lie exactly, and sort of changed the subject to how you can believe in things that you can't see - like love, different people's gods, etc. He then said religion was a load of rubbish and not true as he had never seen an angel come down from heaven. Fair dues, a rational analysis I guess, but I was hoping that this moment wouldn't be quite so soon.
He is in fact a very rational little boy, and I don't want to lie to him, and give him the time to make his own mind up - but I am sad to say I did shed a tear or two because it seemed like such a loss of innocence/watershed type growing up moment. I said "should we forget about xmas then?" No, he still wants the presents! I haven't confirmed or denied anything - just feel a bit awkward about it all -wwyd?

OP posts:
Ttbb · 16/11/2017 16:55

*your.

TittyGolightly · 16/11/2017 16:55

It is sad, of course. The magic of Christmas only seems to exist in children who still believe in Father Christmas.

Utter horseshit. My DD (7) has never believed and her xmases are very magical, thanks!

becotide · 16/11/2017 16:56

be grateful your child has a brain in his head and you didn't have to break the news in the summer hols before secondary school

LeCroissant · 16/11/2017 16:58

The whole Santa thing drove me nuts as a child. I was an intelligent kid and I used to ask my parents, if a person could really fly around the world in one night, why wasn't he using that power for something really useful, rather than using it to deliver presents, when parents could just do that. Think of what he could do, I thought! Then it became apparent that it was all nonsense and I was really annoyed - why make out that it's real?

fleurjasmine · 16/11/2017 16:59

I don't understand what's magic about amazon prime santa either.

mummmy2017 · 16/11/2017 16:59

DD was 4 when she stood up in class and said SANTA doesn't exist, Eldest 9 had told her, OMG world war 3 as kids went home to question parents, it was funny though as she got told she lied the next day, and madam stood firm and told all the other kids go look under your mum's bed, or in the wardrobe, you will find your gifts, seems we need better hiding places.

CJCreggsGoldfish · 16/11/2017 16:59

I was told by my cousin when I was 5 that Santa wasn't real. It's never ruined Christmas for me - I've always loved this time of year! It really is so much more than Santa.

Dumbledoresgirl · 16/11/2017 17:00

Titty I'm happy for you.

But my children are teens and in their early 20s, and we haven't had a magical Christmas for years now. Sad I wish it were otherwise, but I can only speak from my experience.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 16/11/2017 17:00

Stop dramatising. Honestly, you reacted by saying "Shall we forget about Christmas then?"... Confused How ridiculous. Of course he still wants the presents, why would you think he didn't??

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 16/11/2017 17:00

The magic of Christmas only seems to exist in children who still believe in Father Christmas.

DS has never believed...and it is no less magical for him than any of his friends.

Honestly, some people are just silly.

kaytee87 · 16/11/2017 17:01

My mum still hasn’t said out loud that Santa doesn’t exist and I’m 30 Grin

Justanothernameonthepage · 16/11/2017 17:01

Isn't this the perfect opportunity to introduce him to the joy of becoming Father Christmas himself? Taking him to choose a gift for someone else (is there someone you know who will be alone at Christmas or a disadvantaged family collection nearby). It can become a new family Christmas tradition with possibly a happier spirit behind it than pretending in order to get presents.

aintnothinbutagstring · 16/11/2017 17:03

I still celebrate Christmas and I don't believe in Santa! My dd stopped believing a long time (9yrs), we just have a laugh and joke about Santa for the sake of 6yr old ds, though we were never dead serious about it anyway cos Christmas is not about Santa anyway imo.

kaytee87 · 16/11/2017 17:03

The magic of Christmas only seems to exist in children who still believe in Father Christmas.

I absolutely love christmas and can’t actually ever remember really believing in Santa. I just went along with it for my Mum. I still think Christmas is magical

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/11/2017 17:03

My parents had to tell me Santa wasn’t really when I was really young as I was terrified of him Grin

Christmas was still magical though and I still had a stocking full of nick-nacks Don’t worry OP!

whiskyowl · 16/11/2017 17:03

dumbledore - maybe the problem is the family dynamic, rather than belief/non-belief in Father Christmas? Just a thought.

ALemonyPea · 16/11/2017 17:03

7 is about the right age they stop believing. It was a bit mean to say you’ll forgo Christmas though.

When my DC asked about FC not being real, I just confirmed it for them, but told them that other children might still believe,and not to ruin it for them.

Christmas can still be fun, we have little traditions now that don’t evolve around a fat bloke dressed in a red velvet suit, and my DC still enjoy Christmas.

BrutusMcDogface · 16/11/2017 17:03

I stopped believing aged about 5, with nothing more than a shrug. I was an intelligent (if I may say so myself?!), rational child and it made no sense.

My oldest daughter is 7 and I can't work out if she knows or not; a few things have made her stop in her tracks and I've seen her brain whirring but she hasn't asked.

I've always felt a bit funny about "lying" to the kids, tbh....

TittyGolightly · 16/11/2017 17:04

But my children are teens and in their early 20s, and we haven't had a magical Christmas for years now.

Sounds like your head needs a wobble. What’s so awful about it?
Our Xmas:

*doesnt happen on 25/12
*doesnt involve many presents (no shopping stress)
*involves one really nice meal that lasts all day (no cooking stress)
*involves spending time together playing games/laughing/watching telly/walking on the beach/up a mountain etc

Usually in a different place each year.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 16/11/2017 17:06

For a minute looking at your title I thought you cried when dh told you santa doesn't exist. Grin

Christmas isn't ruined. Any 7 year olds claiming to believe in Father Christmas are probably lying.

TittyGolightly · 16/11/2017 17:06

It’s also the season of charity and acts of kindness for us.

TookyClothespin · 16/11/2017 17:07

kaytee same!
I hate seeing people saying they've had to to tell their kids the truth that Santa isn't real. I don't intend to tell my children. Even last year we spoke about it and my parents STILL maintained Santa was real. I don't remember when I realised he wasn't real maybe it really was that first Christmas when I filled DD1's stocking

Dumbledoresgirl · 16/11/2017 17:08

whiskyowl I'm not entirely sure what you are suggesting here, but even so, yes you are almost certainly right. It is upsetting reading people describing me as being 'to blame' and 'silly'. But, yes, they are probably right. Way to make a woman feel better!

Also, I don't think the OP needs attacking for her comments. I think the whole point of her thread was that she was wrong-footed by her son's comment, and she realises she said a series of things that weren't really what she wanted to say. She does ask wwyd? I think she was looking for suggestions for better responses.

notangelinajolie · 16/11/2017 17:08

Aw keep the magic going OP, give him a big hug and cuddle up on the setee and watch a Christmas film together.

Haven't told mine yet but seeing as they are all grown up I reckon it's a bit late for the 'talk'. I refuse to not believe in Santa and they all humour me so it all works out nicely tongue in cheek, please don't think I'm a nutter - I just like Christmas that is all We buy each other presents at Christmas but there are always a few from Santa mixed up amongst them all. DD3 brought home an Elf last week and it's sitting on the fireplace watching me right now - not sure how I feel about that though Confused I think they might be trying to tell me something!!

Dumbledoresgirl · 16/11/2017 17:10

Titty try that with my socially introverted, computer obsessed nerds.

I do realise what makes for a magical Christmas, it just isn't always possible to make people join in with all the warm fuzziness.

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