to have just cried when DS told me this? (edited by MNHQ)

[ReallyNormalForNorfolk]

He's only just turned 7, and appears to have worked it all out for himself. Santa doesn't exist, does he mummy? It's just you and daddy isn't it? I honestly didn't know what to say. I don't like to lie exactly, and sort of changed the subject to how you can believe in things that you can't see - like love, different people's gods, etc. He then said religion was a load of rubbish and not true as he had never seen an angel come down from heaven. Fair dues, a rational analysis I guess, but I was hoping that this moment wouldn't be quite so soon.
He is in fact a very rational little boy, and I don't want to lie to him, and give him the time to make his own mind up - but I am sad to say I did shed a tear or two because it seemed like such a loss of innocence/watershed type growing up moment. I said "should we forget about xmas then?" No, he still wants the presents! I haven't confirmed or denied anything - just feel a bit awkward about it all -wwyd?

I find 'cultural appropriation' of festivals and sacred sites interesting... Gamla Uppsala, where an early cathedral was built right slap bang on top of a major pagan sacred site, for example.

you can enjoy indulging them with belief in all kinds of lovely magical wondrousness before they have to live in the shitty real world forever

Why? Why can't older children / adults indulge in a bit of 'let's pretend'? You set up a false opposition between 'belief' (magic wondrousness) and 'unbelief' (shitty). Where is that twilight word of 'let's pretend', which can be, knowingly, stepped into at will by anyone?

That's a normal age, I think I got to 8 (naive) and someone told me, was gutted. Bloody DD never believed, even at 2 "I know he's not real mum", I still pretend and she rolls her eyes.

*There’s a very small window of time when kids are completely —innocent— and you can —enjoy indulging— manipulate them with belief in —all kinds of lovely magical wondrousness— the contents of the argos catalogue, delivered for free in opposition to the passing of time before they have to —learn the value of money and non-selfishness —live in the shitty real world forever—.
Fixed that for you.

Christmas does feel truly magical while your kids still believe in Father Christmas, so I totally get where the OP is coming from. I think her reaction was slightly OTT though. Seven is a perfectly reasonable age for dc to start doubting - however many times you show them Miracle on 34th Street or the Polar Express. I used to say: “You can believe what you like, but I think you’ll find it’s much more exciting when Santa is bringing the presents - and don’t go spoiling it for any little ones.” More as if they were being let in on a secret than as if that was the end of Christmas as they knew it. We carried on tracking Santa with NORAD for years after - I remember the year when the space station came over the house on Christmas Eve and we all looked up into the frosty night to watch it. We all knew it wasn’t Santa, but we could all see how you could easily pretend it might be. Christmas is still magic in our house because we all remember how magic it used to feel before they’d worked things out.

First world problems. Congratulations you have a smart child.

There’s a very small window of time when kids are completely gullible and you can manipulate them into believing in the contents of the argos catalogue being delivered for free in opposition to the scientific passing of time before they have to learn the value of money and non-selfishness.
Fixed that for you.

I read a beautiful article on this when mine were young. I loved it and shared it with mine as they questioned it.

Mommy you are Santa aren't you? My response was along the lines of jobs of! Santa exists in your heart. He exists in the joy, excitement the magic of the child's eyes when they light up at the tree lights, Santa exists in play, in that christmas sweet film, the things that make you happy, in giving to others and so on.

The magic of Christmas is yours to keep alive in a different way. Not the literal way but the way more important.love, laughter, giving and helping others.

Ofcourse Santa exist: he exists in the magic of pure love and giving

Take Santa out of the literal meaning and make it about something more special. Use your imagination.

After that mine used to choose one present to buy to give to the less fortunate and look at this time of year with different eyes

I never believed Santa was real. And I love Christmas, always have!

Its never bought up around me. Father Christmas is a big part of Christmas, and I will never know when my older boys stopped believing, and will probably never know when my littlest ones stop believing, because they all know I love Father Christmas, and to be told he's not real is absurd! (In my world anyways!)
It was never 'pushed' onto me, it was something wonderful and magical I believed in that made my shitty childhood that little bit easier to deal with. Believing in miracles and magic made life easier to deal with! But no, would never threaten my children if they told me they no longer believe....thats horrible.
But I am one of those mothers who will keep up the story...ie, our children believe they are related to Father Christmas, because they realised it was their own Daddy playing him at the local Christmas Fayre! The girls looked at me in utter disbelief, until I said "Yes of course thats Daddy, did I not tell you that Daddy is Father Christmas's great great great great great (you get the jist) grandson! and so he helps out with giving out gifts!"
The girls thought this made them royalty lol. x

This thread and the link to the Metro article have reminded me of when we were living in Berlin when the kids were small. The German celebrate the feast of St Nicholas on December 6. On that morning, the first year we lived there, snow was on the ground, we came downstairs and noticed something hanging outside the front door from the handle (it was a glass door). I opened the door with the kids and found a large sack of toys and sweets. We were completely mystified - it truly felt as if Santa had been! I later found out it was our neighbours - an older couple who were desperate for grandchildren. They rightly thought we wouldn’t know about St Nicholas and wanted to surprise the kids. We’ve never forgotten - it felt like real Christmas magic.

Tell him jokingly the rules are "You've got to believe to receive" that's what I tell mine and they humour me about it. You really don't want them growing up totally naive anyway - and Christmas is actually about Christ after all and St Nicholas was a real person - tell him to google it.

Why be upset? I didn't believe in father xmas when I was four. It didn't upset me at all, I just pretended I did so I didn't upset my grandfather. It sounds to me as though he is an intelligent, rational little boy who has worked it out for himself.
He should do very well in life.

It’s better he’s found out for him self I was told by a teacher in year 5 and I still haven’t got over it 16 years later so if he’s okay with it maybe just convince him
It’s fun to believe or something! It is a sad time when “santa stops coming”

I say that Santa is someone who brings presents.
So for example when my dd talks about this (as I'm not 100% sure she believes or not) I tell her she can be Santa for others
Sort of keeps the belief a bit

Just weeks ago my nearly 12 yr old ds said there was a discussion as school about the tooth fairy - some believed and some didn’t. He asked me outright if she was real. I felt to keep it going at 12 would be unfair and as he asked me directly I felt if i didn’t confess I’d now be lying to him. I told him I had a little collection of his baby teeth. He burst out crying. I was so upset for him and thought I’d made the wrong decision. Turns out he was crying because he felt silly for believing and not because he was sad the magic had ended. I explained we all believe as children and she still existed as she was me. Last week his 10yr old brother lost a tooth and ds1 asked to be the tooth fairy for his brother and all was lovely again. This week, all by himself, ds1 made a joke about me being Father Christmas so he’s worked it out for himself. Seems about half the kids in his class still believe and no one is correcting them or teasing them - they’re happy to keep it going. I’ve always told my DCs as long as you believe he’ll keep coming but everyone stops believing at some point. I feel proud I’ve kept it going for so long for them and I always dreaded having to maybe tell them. If they work it out themselves I think that’s the best way

If the magic of Christmas is lost, it's not because he doesn't believe in Father Christmas. It's because you're getting mardy about it.

"Shall we just forget Christmas then?" is just sulky and an unfair thing to say to a kid.

My ds got to 13 and I mentioned something in jest about people believing in the Easter bunny. He went to DH is tears saying that he had only just found out from me that the bunny, tooth fairy and Santa weren't real. He was gutted! I was gobsmacked! My 12 yr asd DS is fishing at the moment, he knows we are Santa for the two eldest but we say we take over from the real Santa once they leave senior school.

Becotide my son is extremely intelligent but still believes, he’s 11. Each to their own, really don’t think there’s any need for nasty comments. Every family is different, some believe, in god, in Santa, in the tooth fairy, doesn’t make them gullible, stupid or wrong in my opinion.

It is sad but totally inevitable.

I’m going to bring mine up thinking Santa only brings one or two presents so when the realisation hits it’s maybe less of a thing for us all lol

There’s ten years between the oldest and youngest sib in my family. The youngest only confessed to knowing Santa wasn’t real once she left home 😂 She was worried that if she let on that she knew he wasn’t real, that the presents would stop, and that the rest of us would be angry at her!

“Ignore your logic and pretend to believe in something I tell you but know to be completely made up and I’ll buy you stuff.” Sounds well healthy.

IrishBookWorm, sort it out.

he's either lying to you or you need to stop the myth NOW. He is too old to lack critical thinking

As he is clearly a pretty sophisticated chap, a chat about the origins of Christmas/Yule/Midwinter traditions may be in order. Also, re Gods, angels etc. I've come to think some of these ideas evolved to help us cope with things we just cannot (but must) bear alone. The practical side - go with his wishes - does he want a stocking, Santa sack or to open presents with the grown ups?