To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

The toilets belong to the service station.They have designated them as being female only.Their bogz their rulz .Like it or lump it!

Cherry I was looked at the same with the aftermath of winterborne view etc. But there were 3 carers and 20 men. Not safe. No chance of keeping the public safe if one had a meltdown. Similarly communal showers and changing rooms were taken over. My kids were scared.
No flaming from me.

Value that comment at 10.56 was disgusting.

Spiky Im sorry you feel like that but i felt it was fair.

No it was vile.

The thread has said that if the boy had SN it was different and necessary, within the context that it wouldnt make some posters uncomfortable (as disabilities were different-they are). My point was that SN people have additional needs which can also make people uncomfortable citing the example given which you have reported.
I did not criticise or use disablist terms. I gave an example of being uncomfortable in the presence of SN particularly in a group of people woth SN who were under escorted in a busy pool where the whole shallow end was full so noone else could swim. That isn't nasty. It was what happened. I apologise if something in that made you think it was vile.

Actually, I think that if the boy had additional needs he should use the disabled loo, and only be in the women's as an absolute last resort.

Value the fact that your comment has been deleted speaks for itself.

Wow. Ok then.
Posts are taken down if anyone finds them offensive. Obviously you have. Am just interested what aspect of it caused offense. But no just call me vile.

Posts are taken down if mumsnet hq agrees they are offensive.
No I don't want to go over your vile view with you.

Posts are taken down if mumsnet hq agrees they are offensive
Which when you consider how many fucks, cunts and other content doesn't get deleted suggests it's got to hit a certain threshold before MNHQ get involved

Wow Cherry you reminded me of an incident from 30 years ago. I was about 15 and my best friend and I had agreed to help at a special funday at our secondary school for special needs kids. We were asked to accompany a boy of about 14. We wandered around the fields where there were activities and games. There was a big bouncy castle type thing and my friend and I went on it with the boy we were hosting because that is what you were supposed to do. He got very excited, and pushed my friend down grabbed her breast and bit her in the shoulder!

Obviously he can't really be blamed, but it was scary for us and upsetting for my friend particularly. The adults running things were pretty niave. People with the strength and sex drive of a grown man but without the typical grown man's reasoning and self control probably should be kept out of spaces where women are more physically vulnerable.

Family rooms and disabled options are great and we should all welcome more of them.

the vast maj of women and girls have empathy and really couldn't give a shit

Foxjar yes, the vast majority of women and girls do have empathy, and also many are brought up - in ways that boys often aren't brought up - to be considerate, helpful, put others first. But where is the empathy of boys and men for women who - with very good reason - do not want to share intimate space with strange men?

And how do you know they don't give a shit? Women are constantly being told they are mean and selfish (including on this thread) for wanting to maintain any boundaries for privacy and safety. Many, many women don't speak up even when they do give a shit because they are exhausted at being told, again and again, that their needs and wishes aren't important, and that they should shut up and lump it.