To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

I think we might be in "women have to agree with anything any other woman says or does because otherwise not feminist" territory.

Absolutely maisy just need to be outraged me
Its a discussion not a fight
I can remain worried for my sons even when discussing the needs of girls.
Different topic but what wbout the girls who go to beavers and scouts instead of brownies and guides. Is that ok because they should get the choice or does it intrude on boys space? As i read some real criticism about it endangering girls when the tables were turned?

People have said that girls would be endangered if boys join Guides? Really?

I don't think boys should be Guides, but not because girls would be in danger ..........

"women have to agree with anything any other woman says or does because otherwise not feminist" territory
It is a bit.

Now we've got 'but when it's reversed!!' in a totally unrelated and not remotely comparable situation It's so predictable.

I think there should be the option of single sex and mixed sex uniformed clubs for kids but but not because mixing with kids of the opposite sex puts kids in danger.

This is fun, let's start listing all the utterly unrelated situations where boys and girls might mix because it's totally the same as some precious women wanting their adolescent boy in thr ladies toilets.

A teenage boy (assuming no SN) should not be in a female toilet or changing area. That’s it. The latter is specifically appalling. The answer to unsafe male spaces is to make them safer, not to gatecrash female ones.

You'd think baked but logic went out the window on this thread many pages ago.

God is this still raging? What an utterly pointless thread.

Yep you bet common sense reigns- boys and men use the men's etc. That is what generally happens as I for one have never noticed crowds of teenage boys invading the ladies.

However the fact remains that every so often the status quo won't happen. Tweens and young tweens( were talking 12/13) are in no mans land. Not adults and still very much children. Toilets and their location vary hugely. Soooo now and again a lone mother will deem it necessary to accompany her tween/ young teen into the ladies.

This will continue to happen as the vast maj of women and girls have empathy and really couldn't give a shit( if you'll pardon the pun) and mothers will continue to put the safety of their children first.Local councils/ businesses aren't going to risk putting kids at risk so won't ban this( couldn't enforce it anyway) or shake the money tree to provide unisex toilets in every location.

I suspect this thread is just an excuse for the resident MN bullies to froth ad nauseum in the name of women's rightsCrack on if you want to waste yet more hours to but as I said a mother will always put the safety of her child first. The hysteria will just fall on deaf ears.

What about girls at scouts? Just interested-not inflammatory

I've just said that I am in favour of single sex and mixed sex uniform groups

If a scout group wishes to be unisex then they can. I've seen that happen when there's not enough for a viable scouts and guides so they've combined. If all parties are happy with a unisex group then who cares?

But I would have issues with signing a male child up to all male beavers and then being told 'by the way we are expectinf you to share a tent with a girl' because that's not what I signed up for and it would be uncomfortable for the lads.

It's a bit like toilets. I expect female toilets to be female and unisex ones to be unisex.

You can't just say 'this is female space... oh and here is a man who wants to use it' any more than you can say to teen boys on a trip 'and now you have to share a dorm with a teen girl'

Why is there such blunt thinking that the opposite of "safe space" equals "immediate risk"?

I wish that the Scout movement hadn't had to make the decision to admit girls. But there wouldn't have been a Scout movement if they hadn't so tant pis.......

You can tell just by looking that a child of 13 has no SN?

Hear hear fox a voice of reason.
Maisy not sure your problem its a valid question. Not quite sure about the fun comment-sarcasm is a great way of using agression but masking it with humour. Nice.

I was in the loo in Sainsbury’s the other day and there was a woman in there with her four sons two of them were quite younger maybe 6 or 7, but the other two were prob between 10 and 12. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t send the oldest two into the male toilets together - which was right next to the women’s.

Opps...missed where you said you knew him...sorry

And maisy i agree with your last post.
Safe space can be emotionally or physically safe both important.

Just checked back on this thread. I wonder how it feels for the 13 year old to accompanied by his mum in the ladies' loo.

What about girls at scouts? Just interested-not inflammatory

Scouts do not ‘belong’ to boys, girls have been admitted to scouts for about 30 years now. Where’s the intrusion?

Scouts decided to become mixed because their numbers - leaders and members - were dropping. Guides decided to remain a female-only space.

A quick google tells me that girls have been admitted to Scouts since 1976.

Girlguiding is a separate organisation and remains female-only because that’s what the members want.

Ok thanks for clarifying re scouts and guides. Interesting. My daughter says brownies is dead boring!

The girls in scouts thing is a bit more complicated than rhat. Baden Powell was very open to the idea of girls in scouts back at the beginning of the 20th century and there were a couple of girl patrols back then. But girls were only admitted to all Scout sections in 1990. It was a purely pragmatic decision based on falling numbers, nothing to do with equality. Guides could have chosen to admit boys at the same time but had no need to- they had waiting lists.

value I stopped using our local leisure pool as a group of about 7 SN men came into the women’s changing room when I was completely starkers, because their career was female. This facility does have unisex changing rooms but they are further down the corridor. One of them ran towards me to grab me and his career had to restrain him. I rapidly got dressed (hadn’t been in the pool yet) went out and politely asked reception if they could be asked to use the family area as I didn’t feel comfortable with grown men in there and being on my own other than my carer. The manager said if I had a problem I was welcome to leave. So I did. This was about 6 years ago mind, I was pregnant with DD. Still makes me really fucking angry that I was very much sneered at and it was very much ‘and what do you think 7 vulnerable men want to do to you exactly’.

Never posted that story before for fear of flaming!

*their carer not my carer