To think a 13 year old boy shouldn't use the ladies loo?

[NameChangeLulu]

NC for this. Recently I was in a situation where a group of people I was in went to a service station. A boy of 13 was told by his mother to come into the ladies with her rather than use the gents as it was safer.

AIBU to think that’s not OK?

And I can assure you people will have batted an eyelid at teenage boys in the ladies toilets. Who can apparently ‘cope brilliantly’ when out alone but not when they’re with mummy
Careful, if you dare jokingly say 'mummy' to refer to women who insist on treating their teen like a 7 year old then you'll get pulled up for it.

I agree with you by the way. It's all a bit 'but MY precious DS' and some have even said that women abd girls who quite reasonably want a female only space are being entitled. So you know men get a mans space but the womens space is just a free for all.

Exactly bat and it's only ever a concern when it's a male person raising the issue (you know because male privilege is all alive and kicking still).

The lady who wears Hijab and wants to redo her head scarf in a space she could reasonable expect to be free from males.

This is an interesting point. Having spent a considerable amount of time in the Middle East, let me tell you that you see (pre-pubescent) boys in the ladies loos all the time, and no-one bats an eyelid.

The mens involves having to expose genitals in front of other men.

I have just asked DH and he has never ever been in a mens loo where there was not at least one cubicle. Where are these loos where you HAVE to expose your genitals to everyone?

Leilaniii
You're so damn cultured we should be in awe of your travel and jet set international lifestyle which has bugger all to do with you deciding your teen son should be allowed in women's spaces.

Anyway, nobody on this thread has an issue with mothers bringing young sons into the toilet so you're clutching at straws here to justify your entitled attitude that your son can enter female spwces whenever you like.

Teen boys should be using the mens facilities.
It surely isn't that difficult for you to get.

Having spent a considerable amount of time in the Middle East, let me tell you that you see (pre-pubescent) boys in the ladies loos all the time, and no-one bats an eyelid

Indeed. And yet not all 13 year old boys are pre-pubescent which is rather one of the issues, no?

Indeed. And yet not all 13 year old boys are pre-pubescent which is rather one of the issues, no?

I'm not sure, to be honest. My posts relate to my pre-pubescent son, I can't speak for anybody else.

So when he hits puberty, which may well be very soon, what then?

Then he will grow taller and stronger and less vulnerable. Thus requiring less supervision and protection in public toilets.

DSS is nearly 6foot at 13. Hes 14 next week though, so not sure if he really 'counts' as a 13 year old. He is bigger than me, fairly stocky too. I know by just looking at him that he could overpower me easily. He playfights with DH sometimes and often has him pinned down. DH is 6ft 4 and huge as he goes to the gym most nights.

DSS may just be huge as his dad is. But a lot of his friends are taller than me. Some of them look really tiny next to the rest of them.

Bat. Stop being obtuse. Boys are toileted from school age to use urinals communally.
There are always cubicles for shitting. These are often being used.
Ironic how your 'DH' had to answer that one for you wasn't it

BatShite, how old was your DS when he was 4 foot 5 (roughly)? Would you have let him go to the gents alone, if you felt there was a risk? Sorry, not picking on you, just wondering.

You referred to a 15yo being assaulted in a toilet earlier. 15yos tend to be taller, stronger. That's what makes me think this is about perception, not risk.

No, he was 14. I don't know how tall he was or what build he had. It was in the newspaper. It happened in our local shopping center.

BatShite, how old was your DS when he was 4 foot 5 (roughly)? Would you have let him go to the gents alone, if you felt there was a risk? Sorry, not picking on you, just wondering.

God I don't know, maybe about 10/11? He has used the gents alone since being about 8. He would never have come into the ladies after that age.

Ironic how your 'DH' had to answer that one for you wasn't it

Well...I have not been in any mens loos except for the bar I used to work in when I had to clean them (where the womens was often much dirtier than the mens actually, except the time someone shat in the urinal)...so of course I had to ask DH

um ok well if that's true about UK law that's disgusting, but as far as I understood it is that rape (non consensual sex) is just that having sex with someone who does not or cannot consent? rape is rape. If a woman forces a man to have sex with her then she has raped him! Similarly with ref 2 inserting something then that is also rape regardless of the gender of the perpertrator. Are u telling me for example that if I got my husband completely wasted and then had sex with him when he was practically passed out that is NOT rape but if he did it 2 me that IS rape?? the mind boggles.

No not all men have the potential to be rapists. A man with the potential to be a rapist would be some1 who has certain ideas, mindset etc. My husband is not a potential rapist just because he has a penis that's obsurd. That's like saying any woman out late on her own is a potential victim lime it's a choice.

Yes I am offended but the 'as a woman' part was supposed 2 be emphasised but couldn't edit. Im allowed to be offended on behalf of my husband, son, brother, father and uncles but then I've found the problem with women is that when they scream equality what they really mean is put the man in the gutter and see how he likes it!!! (I was generalizing to show how ridiculous it sounds when u tar the whole sex with the same brush)

Mommy to be
Rape is the penetration of mouth vagina or anus by penis without consent. Ergo only someone with a penis can rape, that is a man.
Serious sexual assault can be carried out using hands or other objects without consent, it can be as bad as rape, but not rape, as a penis is not used. So women may be culpable or men.

"I've found the problem with women is that when they scream equality what they really mean is put the man in the gutter and see how he likes it!!! "

That really is utter bollocks, you know!

LOL at “the sisterhood have failed me”. Imagine, feminists putting WOMEN first . God some mothers of boys are beyond deluded. And some of us recognise a risk males pose whilst still raising boys.

I would have hoped that mothers of girls (of which I am one as well) would be sympathetic to the extreme nature of the circumstances at the time and feel a responsibility to protect ALL children, regardless of their gender

Hang in, you are not interested in girls safety, maybe heed your own advice?

No one has yet answered -

• why are you peering into men’s loos?

And

• what do your sons do when you’re not there to make a judgement on the men’s loos?

Also if you’ve told your son to expose his penis to other men in the toilet, you’ve taught him wrong

Mommy there’s been a few threads lately on the definition of rape but in a nutshell -

In U.K. law rape requires a penis. This is protected due to infection and pregnancy risk.

Forced penetration is ‘sexual assault by penetration’ (or similar wording) and would carry as hefty a sentence than rape would, depending on the circumstances, plea, remorse shown etc.

So no women cannot rape, but they can sexually assault (though very rarely do, 96% of sexual crimes are committed by men) and have a proper punishment for doing so.

I've found the problem with women is that when they scream equality what they really mean is put the man in the gutter and see how he likes

Yeah how annoying to want less men to rape us. Really throwing the dudez under the bus we are

I've found the problem with women is that when they scream equality what they really mean is put the man in the gutter and see how he likes
Except that's not what anyone is saying.

I can't believe there are people who think it's ok to teach kids that mens toilets are unsafe because they have men in them and then think it's fine to expect women to allow teen boys into the female toilets in support of their overly silly perception of risk.

Noones answered you Cherry because you keep ranting on without basis in the hope of someone saying something you want to hear.
Nobody goes into mens toilets to nosy around why would they?
Therefore my son doesnt do anything differently if with me or not-he uses the mens.
Men having a wee do so by opening their zip and weeing. It isnt private in comparison to female weeing. There is no parent who teaches their child to flash when they wee. So dont be disgusting-and yes you are disgusting when you clearly undèrstand the point being made but are manipulating the meaning to suit your argument.
Honestly nobody is arguing with you but you continue frothing at the mouth.
Statistically those figures are questionable and i would need more details before determining if they were produced through robust methods of analysis.

Maisy im not teaching anyone that mens toilets are unsafe. I pointed out a factual biological difference which is a fact and which impedes privacy.
I dont tell my boys to use the womens.

Bat i was highlighting your blind trust of you H's perspective on the matter, in a thread where male experiences are threatening. Therin was the irony, not the suggestion you looked in male toilets