Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a total invasion of privacy? (New boyfriend searching my details at work)

152 replies

Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:28

I started dating someone 7 weeks ago.
I work part time in a office and also look after my gran who is 93 with dementia.
I live in a council property at the moment and get help with housing benefit.
I didn't want to get into great detail with him so just said I work office work.
He is a housing officer for a local council (25 mins away from me) different council tho.
He has never been to my house and I've never given him my address.
Sunday we were going for a meal and I was in town so I said it's ok to pick me up from town.
I got in his car he said driving was a nightmare it would of been easier to pick you up from (my address)
I've never told him my address and he keeps asking questions about work and hours I do and housing benefit etc
I think he's been searching my details.
Would you be annoyed?

OP posts:
OrianaBanana · 15/11/2017 12:29

Yes. If he has been searching for your details at work that is gross misconduct and he can be sacked.

TittyGolightly · 15/11/2017 12:30

I’d be dumping him and making a formal complaint. That’s a complete breach of data protection. Very serious.

RatRolyPoly · 15/11/2017 12:31

Yes. And I think after only 7 weeks it's something I couldn't be bothered with actually.

Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:32

I didn't even think it would be possible as its a different council but he has mentioned that he could log a repair for me.
I know I shouldn't of said I work full time instead of part time but he was judgemental about people claiming any sort of benefits.
It's not because I'm lazy why I work full time it's because I need to help my gran.

OP posts:
RebeccatheOld · 15/11/2017 12:32

I would find it creepy and I would ditch him.

Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:33

*Why I don't wish full time

OP posts:
Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:33

*work

OP posts:
MinorRSole · 15/11/2017 12:34

Urgh, he gives me the creeps and I’m not the one dating him. I’m willing to put money on you being able to do much better for yourself

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 15/11/2017 12:34

It wouldn't matter why you worked part-time. Aside from the issue of whether he has been snooping at work, he sounds like a judgemental twat. This reason alone would have me binning him off.

Tobebythesea · 15/11/2017 12:35

Run

Love51 · 15/11/2017 12:36

I don't think council housing staff can see the details of occupants in another council area. However he may have got the information using plain old google.
I've not dated since before the dawn of the internet. I do know workplaces have to protect your data in their databases, so that would be a huge breach of trust. If he got it from the internet, is that a big deal? You might want to check out your digital footprint.

Theresamayscough · 15/11/2017 12:37

Red flag op. A controlling creepy guy, run and don’t look back.

Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:37

Ever since then I can't seem to bring myself to be nice to him.
He's been off with me since then tbh
So I think he's annoyed at me for not telling him but he can't say because he knows he would get into trouble.

OP posts:
Wtfdoipick · 15/11/2017 12:37

Our local housing association manages 3 local areas council housing so I can fully believe that a council housing officer from area A would be able to access details for a resident in area B despite them being separate local authorities.

wowfudge · 15/11/2017 12:38

I think it is possible he has picked up on you not being entirely truthful. You can often quite easily find out where someone lives just from knowing their name if they are on the electoral roll. If you don't trust him then end it. You don't have to tell him why.

Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:38

I don't think he could have found this from google as I've only lived there 2 months and I haven't even put myself on the electoral roll yet.

OP posts:
Theresamayscough · 15/11/2017 12:38

Red flag op. A controlling creepy guy, run and don’t look back.

oldlaundbooth · 15/11/2017 12:38

Run for the hills.

LakieLady · 15/11/2017 12:38

Dump him and dob him in at work!

He sounds weird, and not in an amusing way. That quite gave me the creeps, tbh.

OpalIridescence · 15/11/2017 12:39

Yep massive red flag, don't ignore it.
Move on

Love51 · 15/11/2017 12:39

Just seen your update. If you think he's breaching data protection, report him. I assume you are going to dump him either way! (If they warrant a mumsnet post 2 months in, they're not a keeper! Also he sounds disparaging of your lifestyle)

Kellyopio · 15/11/2017 12:39

Mine is a housing association too but I got the property through council allocation.
The housing association is the same one as he works at but different city.
It's home housing (not sure if that means anything to anyone )

OP posts:
SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 15/11/2017 12:43

I know I shouldn't of said I work full time instead of part time but he was judgemental about people claiming any sort of benefits

Immaterial if you work full or part time, that is irrelevant - what is relevant is that you are reinventing yourself to fit the model of girlfriend you think he might like. Ditch him now.

And I’d have queried how he knew my personal address. That in it’s self would creep me out.

if you are going to report him – although I think you would have trouble making any allegation stick as he woks for a different council and wouldn’t have any direct access to your records – just make sure you aren’t getting too much p/t salary to claim carers allowance (if you are claiming carers) because you can bet your bottom dollar he will pull strings and make your life difficult.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 15/11/2017 12:44

The housing association is the same one as he works at but different city - he's looked you up

FlowerPot1234 · 15/11/2017 12:45

Creepy and sackable. Run (and report if you feel up to it).