To think we cannot afford a second baby :(

[winkletwinkletoes]

Currently feeling sad

Really want another baby in the next year or so. Have a 5 1/2 year old.

We both work full time. Joint income
Of around £2600 after tax. Our bills equate to about £2000 due to just buying a first house with eye watering interest rate

Realistically how can we afford another child if the childcare would be £500-£600 a month.

Got no family who can help... well not willing to help. Obviously long term we want a good quality of life and I can't see us being able to have both.

Can it be done or no???

Oh apologies... late twenties. And before anyone jumps in on wait to have another... it's not easy due to fertility issues.

i had those too - but what's going to get substantially worse for your fertility issues between your age now, and, say, 33? I agree, don't wait til 35 if you suspect it'll be a fight to get pg, but the difference between 29 and 33 is unlikely to be make or break and you have 1 DC?

I say this kindly op, you're putting yourself and your DP under a LOT of pressure by insisting on a second baby now, when you have both got prospects of considerably boosting your earnings in the next 3 years.

OP the age gap is going to be huge between your child and a sibling if or when you do have another.
I'm struggling to find the point in having another with such a huge age gap.

So what? There is nothing wrong with age gaps between children.

i'm struggling to understand why you'd worry about age gaps - I've got 2 siblings that are 10 and 8 years older than me and I'm close to them.

I suppose it depends on whether you view having another child as being for you or for the existing child.

Age gaps are irrelevant all my siblings about between 7-11 years older than me.

So you need to:

• get rid of Sky
• sort your phones out as soon as you can
• similarly car finance

In general don't buy anything on ongoing credit (including phones).
Don't go interest only on your mortgage - you have to pay it off at the end all you are doing is delaying the problem and making it worse.

Have your second child. You will have at least a year to sort out finances. When on maternity leave your fuel will be lower. Just don't take out any more finance agreements.

Our mortgage is £950, petrol £150 and food £250. So immediately our monthly outgoings are at least £1850 a month

I'm thinking maths skills are an issue for most!

If you really do want another DC then you have to compromise on your lifestyle. Move nearer family for childcare, or move to a smaller place to save on mortgage or relocate to a cheaper area. All doable. Hard but worth it if you really do want another DC.

If you think its a good idea to piss £120 a month up the wall on your phones its no wonder you've got no money.

OP I understand your longing for another child. Been there, done that. It's an itch that isn't going to go away.
I would set yourself a target of, say a year, in which you get your finances in order, and save every penny you can. Then reassess, and see if you are in a better position. If you are then go for it.
The people who have recommended MSE are along the right lines, because those people know how to micromanage their budget, even a tiny amount of money.
And just to reassure you, many people have children with virtually no money or resources and they manage just fine.

We faced a similar dilema and decided we'd rather have a second child than a higher income and would temporarily take the financial hit. So I went part-time and hubby negotiated condensed hours so we only needed 1.5 days of childcare. We now live hand-to-mouth (and likely will do for a while longer) but I've just qualified to start an online earning which I can do from home (when kids are in bed). I wouldn't change a thing-it's a blessing to have two kids and a sibling for our DD1. Best wishes whatever you decide.

Similar monthly budget. Slightly higher mortgage. 3 children.
We manage just fine.
Your bills seem very high. Could you cut down on car payments...or look to the point when your OH earns more and your outgoings for loans go down?

Just to help you get a little bit of perspective, OP (and perhaps a little bit of empathy) there's another thread running on AIBU at the moment, called www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3086831-To-ask-of-times-when-you-were-really-broke
All of these people, and presumably their children, survived. And you can too

And that level of overcrowding is criminal

I agree. But while she had her first DC when she was very young, she was in her twenties when she had the other three completely of her own free will, already living in the flat (which is a council flat btw), and didn’t give a toss about the fact that she had no job or income besides benefits with which to provide for them all or put a roof over their heads. That’s become everyone else’s problem.