To think we cannot afford a second baby :(

[winkletwinkletoes]

Currently feeling sad

Really want another baby in the next year or so. Have a 5 1/2 year old.

We both work full time. Joint income
Of around £2600 after tax. Our bills equate to about £2000 due to just buying a first house with eye watering interest rate

Realistically how can we afford another child if the childcare would be £500-£600 a month.

Got no family who can help... well not willing to help. Obviously long term we want a good quality of life and I can't see us being able to have both.

Can it be done or no???

On MN, post in Money Matters.

But perhaps better might be Money Saving Expert (MSE) as you'll get tons of advice there.

Try tracking everything you and your DP spend over 3 months. Like, everything. It's an eye opener.

You wouldn't make a good social worker with your judgemental attitude.

*How would most react when your trying to get parents into work and several comments from different families were

"Fuck that... what's the point in working. I'm worse off working than I am staying at home. Probably have more money than you do... ha ha." What would your reaction be confused... oh ok your such a nice man with great ethics and contribute so well to society.*

I would think that he was trying to get a rise out of me.

But tbh- i don't have a great work ethic.
I don't think work is the be all and end all.
I don't hoist my judgy pants if people arent going to work.

I know the kind of people who make a song and dance over how they're such brilliant grafters who have "always worked" and "never claimed benefits". I've worked with those kinds of people. They spend as much time as I do skulking off to make coffee and pissing about on mumsnet.

Op- Playing devils advocate here but what if you accidentally became pregnant? You would find a way- of course you would.

We cut our cloth accordingly and all that crap...

Thing is, you have made the decision to buy a house, fair enough, you dont want to live in a council house ( can I ask why? ) and with your decisions there are consequences, mortgage etc.

You are possibly used to a certain standard of living, we all are to some degree, again, you could get rid of a few luxuries, go down a brand at the supermarket etc.

I get what you are saying about the people you work with but honestly, would you want to swop lives with any of them?

You're there to "empower" these families as you say and yet you envy them in a way. Skewed view regardless of how much you like your job.

We had an 8 year gap and it's worked out well for us, you make it work.

If people actually sat down and thought about whether they could really "afford" a baby then hardly anyone would be pregnant.

Circumstances change all the time for people, good and bad. Those who already have children can't just send them back when times are hard, I've been through horrible times as a parent and we have survived.
That's another reason I choose to live in a HA property, I have a lovely home and it costs me £400 pm.

I hope you figure out a way but strongly suggest you don't feel bitter towards some of the families you work with, not until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

Can you get rid of one of the cars? Cycle to work?
How long until you can remortgage, also how much are you paying out for the sofa and wardrobe loans? 9 months for baby to arrive and you might not get pregnant straight away, plus your maternity leave until you need to worry about nursery fees, up until that point babies are fairly cheap especially if you kept the gear from DC1, by then it is likely that DH's salary will have increased?

Lord sugar- unfortunately, the council estates around here are not great. Really low level of deprivation, high number of drug and sex offences and gang crime. Only
Lucky in this area if you get a council house on a new build estate so it's an even mix. Also is short supply, think it's on average a 5 year wait in a band 4.

. My mom has a HA house which is nice but was lucky to get that.
Also, I have walked in their shoes. Numerous times.. I've been that poor where you skip meals and have nothing. I was there as a child but decided I didn't like
To be there so worked hard to try to never end up there as it's a crap place to be.

You really, seriously shouldn't be a social worker. Or anything else in the social welfare realm.

There must be a dozen things you'd be better suited to.

Not really... like I said. When you have parents being shit towards their kids and you are the one that manages to get their lives on the straight and narrow. And give those kids a better chance at life. Luckily I have lots of thank you cards cuz otherwise your comment may really have me thinking twice about my career.

You know zilch

It's easy to think that a lot of costs are essentials because you've spent on them for ages.

Car tax is cheaper (marginally) yearly. Car insurance is often quite a bit cheaper paid for yearly. Internet I've got for £10 a month at the moment, but you can normally get it for £20.

Buying things like cars and sofas on finance will inevitably eat a big chunk of income. Our house has pretty much everything second hand except the beds. Obviously that's not a solution now, but second hand can be really good value for furniture and white goods. Could the car be sold to pay off the finance? Shift to a cheap run-around?

Obviously you already mentioned phones, contracts can definitely eat cash!

Would second MSE - if you do an SOA on there they will pull savings from your budget left right and centre.

Sorry wtf people saying go interest only or extend your mortgage.

Jesus Christ op is being realistic saying ATM cannot afford a second child something most people fail to do and your all saying nah fuck it drive up more debt.

Op don't worry in a few years when partners salary goes up you will be in a different position to reasses the situation. Be grateful for what you have right now and I'm sure this isn't the end yet !

Your being very sensible please don't stress ! X

You don't earn an MA and demonstrate competence in professional standards by collecting greetings cards. Believe it or don't.

You're not going to make a professional anything while you keep using "cuz" are you?

Did you say how old you are op? I don’t understand the urgency unless you’re in your late 30s already

Also sorry but if everyone thinks their support workers/ social workers go home and sing service users praises your having a laugh.

They are not robots they don't switch off at the end of the day. It is infuriating watching people do nothing and claim claim clean ! Your lying if you say it's not.

Not really... like I said. When you have parents being shit towards their kids and you are the one that manages to get their lives on the straight and narrow. And give those kids a better chance at life. Luckily I have lots of thank you cards cuz otherwise your comment may really have me thinking twice about my career

You do not manage to get anybody on the straight and narrow other than yourself.
Do not underestimate the work and effort your service users put in. That is theirs not yours. At least it shouldn’t be yours if your doing it right.

And personally if I were you I wouldn’t even be thinking about wanting a baby now. Put it out of your mind until your husband/and or you are in a better position financially.
If you both wanted a baby now neither one of you would be taking a massive pay cut and neither one of you would be arranging your finances in such a way that meant either of you felt it was not possible.

You would be working on a plan of maximising so you were able to when you were ready, which in reality is what you are doing with him changing jobs and you securing your home. Just don’t kid yourself that that is not what your doing you just need to wait until your ready. That is not the fault of someone on benefits

I am concerned that your interest rate is eye wateringly high given the current low interest rate environment, what will you do when rates eventually rise?

Battleax- stop being a troll.
My court reports show I am able practice grammar and correct spelling thanks.

And everyone says I'm a cow. Wow. No greeting cards show nothing... but for
Some young person I helped them when they were going through a tough time in their lives when their parents were pissing money up the wall and all sorts so yeah. My professional standard was fighting tooth and nail to get those kids out of that environment. what did you say you did again for a job?? Oh yeah you didn't

Why not just wait until you are in a better financial position?

What's the rush?

My court reports show I am able practice grammar and correct spelling thanks

Classic

My professional standard was fighting tooth and nail to get those kids out of that environment. what did you say you did again for a job?? Oh yeah you didn't

Have a little think about why part of professionalism involves NOT discussing your work or opining about your service users online.

How can you not be entitled to help if you only earn 26k?

Oh sorry read it wrong 😂

Actually... breaking boundaries is discussing and naming people.You have no idea who I'm on about from that limited piece of info.

Go on facebook and you will find social work tutor where dozens of social workers discuss cases and clients and ask for advice.... where people could actually
Figure out who they're on about.
On here you don't know me... I luckily don't know you... you don't have a clue. No idea.

You'd be happy for your manager to read this thread then? You think your attitudes are appropriate and it's all okay?

Op's husband earns too so it's more than 26k