To think we cannot afford a second baby :(

[winkletwinkletoes]

Currently feeling sad

Really want another baby in the next year or so. Have a 5 1/2 year old.

We both work full time. Joint income
Of around £2600 after tax. Our bills equate to about £2000 due to just buying a first house with eye watering interest rate

Realistically how can we afford another child if the childcare would be £500-£600 a month.

Got no family who can help... well not willing to help. Obviously long term we want a good quality of life and I can't see us being able to have both.

Can it be done or no???

That’s the main reason we have an 8y gap. Their was no way we could afford 2 little at the same time. We need both our salaries in the long run.

Baby is definitely not the cheapest stage! Our nursery fees are 1020 for a full time month. We’re just about managing.

I can’t wait for DS to go to school, but still got another few years of this.

I would love a 2nd, but we don’t do it until the funds add up, so i feel your pain OP. Everyday just think about how lucky you are to have your LO

Ttbb what a knobbish thing to say.

Not sure about benefits.. maybe if we got childcare but with the way universal credit is knocking money down I wouldn't want to chance it.

I can't retrain... well I could but I'm at an ok salary really 22.5k and if I retrained I would get about th same salary for the next few years. I could do my masters but that's 10k and no income for the 2 years

And no we both couldn't give up work and live off benefits as we have a mortgage which is 800pm and that would have to be paid as you don't get support with that. Oh... interest rate is 4.2% on a 5% deposit house that was 190k... hence the higher mortgage.

I've literally thought of everything!!!

Could you extend the term of your mortgage? You’ll end up paying more in the long term, but less month-by-month.

Are either of your employers in the Childcare Voucher Scheme? That could save a bit - less than £100/month though.

People who say babies are the cheapest stage aren’t paying full time Nursery fees!

Your bills are really high

Are you absolutly certain about benefits?

I get that you may not be entitled now- but have you had someone do a couple of "better off calculations" for different scenarios:

e.g:
Both working full time with childcare vs
One full time plus one part time and less childcare vs
One full time plus SAHM and no childcare
etc...

Tax Credits can turn up some counter-intuitive results.
For eg: DH and I both work part time. But we have the same overall income as if one of us worked full time and one part time.

What would your maternity pay be like?

Well, you're being a bit ridiculous with your "life is so unfair" spiel. Your DH has just taken a pay cut. That's why you can't afford it at the moment. If he's an accountant, he can work hard and earn a lot more than 2600 in a relatively short time.

You could aim for a promotion in 6 months to boost your income too.

You are not in a bad position, actually.

I don't understand why you just bought a house if it is stopping you from having a baby you want.

I think you are looking at it from a very negative aspect you have said:

hate this life
it's so unfair
no point in working

Stop comparing your life to others and come up with a plan that suits your life and don't be concerned with what others have.

I dont get it. You earn 22.5k but your joint income is 26k?

If you really want it, you'll find a way. One of you will need to change your working patterns to limit childcare. So what can you do to find weekend/evening/freelance work instead of 9-5?

I wouldn't worry about Universal Credit by the way.
Roll out is still glacial. It won't start effecting the majority of working families for some time yet.
Probably not before your youngest is safely at primary school and you are both working full time and not needing to claim.

I have no idea if you can make this work, I live in a different country but...

If one of you stops working, and takes on childcare, what does that do for your budget? In my case, it actually benefitted us because my commuting costs were eliminated and my husband paid less tax. Also, I work in a sector where I was able to take a career break and resume after two years, so took away the risk of not being able to find a job when I needed to get back to work.
Good luck

"If you really want it, you'll find a way. ".
Bollocks!
If that were true then no families would be living in poverty!
If the ends don't meet, no amount of "wanting it" will pay the bills FFS

I look back with misty eyes to when our only child-related outlay was pfb's £1000pcm nursery bill.

Most things we pay for are admittedly optional, but they are important.

Your DH is a trainee accountant so earning less than minimum wage. As soon as he is qualified (when will that be) he will be earning multiples of that. Go for it.

Most things we pay for are admittedly optional, but they are important

to you but I'm guessing not to others. It simply is not true that babies are the least expensive, unless you make it so on purpose.

I read that you have £600 left over? That covers childcare bill? Tight for a few years but doable

I read that the OP has £2600 per month not £26000 per annum, could be wrong though!

Let me clarify... our joint income per month is £2600.00. Not annually of 26k.

Secondly, I am being negative. But, for example I work with families who have kids left right and centre and don't care... why? Because they know they can claim benefits and that will be fine as they don't work.

I feel pissed that I actually have to
Stop and think about doing so because I can't afford it because I am working and because I choose to want both a career and children. Some may say you can't have both but I want to try to.

And I bought a house because I want something to leave my kids. Why pay money into rented housing when I can buy my own house and I don't want to live in a council house.

I came from a crappy upbringing and I always vowed to give my children better than what I had.

Not sure why life seems unfair if you chose to take on the eye-watering mortgage to own a (presumably nice) house, plus you have a job, a lovely kid and a DH with a good job..... but I know that's not helpful, sorry.

More practically, how long are you locked into your mortgage for? It may be just a year or two before you can get a better deal.

Like what MrsHathaway?

Our current costs are nursery, clothes (this is where I do get carried away as I buy mostly new), probiotics (daughter has tummy issues), nappies, wipes, food to be thrown on the floor and occasional stuff like next size up sleeping bag etc. Probably comes to £1200 a month. I know we’ll have to pay for wrap around childcare when she starts school and they’ll be uniform, clubs (will be limited for cost reasons) and trips, but how can that be more than £1200 ish?!

how old are you op? It looks to me as though both you and your DH have reasonable prospects of boosting your income over the next few years. Surely it's just a case of you can't do it for a few years?

We had our second without knowing how to pay for it and just hoping it would work.were in a different position in that we do have parents but not to help on a regular basis. So childcare was still needed.

In the end I gave up work and we just managed. We gave up alot, our expectations went down and we did home haircuts. No meals out. No holidays. I got clothes for birthdays and Christmas. We got through the 2 years you have to before getting help with childcare then I could work again.

You can make it work it just depends how much you think you want to give up to have a baby.

Please also remember things never stay the same. Childcare costs are crippling!

Your bills seem pretty high;there might be something you can do to reduce them?
The only way to make it work would be for you or DH to take a job that meant you could work opposite shifts and therefore avoid the need for childcare- is that an option?