To think we cannot afford a second baby :(

[winkletwinkletoes]

Currently feeling sad

Really want another baby in the next year or so. Have a 5 1/2 year old.

We both work full time. Joint income
Of around £2600 after tax. Our bills equate to about £2000 due to just buying a first house with eye watering interest rate

Realistically how can we afford another child if the childcare would be £500-£600 a month.

Got no family who can help... well not willing to help. Obviously long term we want a good quality of life and I can't see us being able to have both.

Can it be done or no???

You mentioned wanting a baby in the next year or so - is there a particular reason for that timing? Age? Can you wait another 2 years for your DH to have done more training and try and build a nest egg?

It is not unfair - the OP can be irresponsible, selfish, thoughtless and neglectful of multiple children if she wants. It won't make her any happier, though, which is why the majority of people try to avoid ending up in that situation. It's ludicrous to be jealous of people whose lives you would hate to have, anyway. Keep trying to lead your life in the way you think it should be led and stop getting distracted by other people's mistakes and misfortunes.

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I’d want to pay off some of that mortgage before having another even if I suddenly got a better paid job. That is a whacking great mortgage for your salaries with not much wiggle room when rates go up, you will be one of the most vulnerable (we aren’t hugely far off). Our mortgage is big (260k) but our salaries are nearly £70k together, we have a good 15% in equity and I qualified less than a year ago and should get a £10k pay rise in the next year. Still, we’ve decided to shelve TTC until we have more wiggle room. Rates really are only going up and house prices are not rocketing anymore, negative equity is looking as a possibility for quite a chunk of people over the next 3-5 years I think.

Lady - the fact that op leaves her own child full time to support these women for a wage this is not fantastic suggests that she is not judemental at work towards these women.
However she is allowed to sound off about the unfairness of those who have more and more human babies and expect the tax payer to pick up the bill. Just because they don’t apparently know better it doesn’t make it right or fair and it must sting seeing people have as many children as they want with no thought as to how to support them. But of course she never said she wanted to swap either.
There is a section of society in this country that are the working poor, people who work dam and hard get no help.
Why don’t we all just go on benefits and have as many children as we like knowing that the government will foot the bill and give extra benefits, free nursery placements etc.

I've asked this a few times now, but what extra benefits? There aren't any?

I don't think it's irresponsible to have two children on the sort of income the OP's household has.

Buying things like cars and sofas on finance will inevitably eat a big chunk of income.

By the sounds of it, I do a similar sort of job to OP and often have to coach clients in budgeting. That's the first thing I tell them!

I also have clients who get significantly more in benefits than we do working. I don't envy them, because they generally have some sort of health/disability issue and, while they may have more money, they have far fewer choices.

OP, I haven’t RTFT but skimmed.

You already have a big age gap so another 2-3 years doesn’t make a huge difference. By that time won’t dh be on his way to earning a lot more?

I used to work with hard to reach clients and had a lot of contact with the sort of family you mention. I would say that it is so common as to be the norm for the staff supporting these clients to be frustrated by the attitudes of some of these clients. Not all but some. The staff did not hold them in contempt as many have accused you of, nor dislike but certainly frustrated.

Your items on finance will come to an end soon and your husbands wage should go up significantly so you will be in a much better position.

I’m surprised you were given such a high mortgage considering your income and outgoings. Ours is the same on a significantly higher income and it was bloody hard to get he mortgage, they must have relaxed the rules.

If you give it a couple of years you will be much better off financially.

Petrol is dear as I have to do lots of visits during the day.

Surely, you get that paid by your employer? I know LA rates are lower, but I get 45p a mile for work mileage. I get around £180 a month most months.

Honestly, if you spend a year or two spending very carefully (no Sky, cheap phones, not much meat etc) and building up savings so you don't have to buy items like furniture on finance in the future, then you should be fine to start planning another baby. Your husband's salary should be going up then anyway.

Not read the full thread, but how are you on a joint income of £2600 pcm if you both work full time?? Surely that's less than the equivalent of minimum wage? Which seems v odd if your partner is a trainee accountant (and certainly won't be the case when he's fully qualified).

Review your situation once again once your husband is qualified and presumably gets a significant pay rise.

Hope it all works out for you. Xx

£2600 is after tax & NI contributions.

How did you get a mortgage that high?

Our income is more than you and with the new affordability rules we are struggling to borrow anywhere near that amount.

Life is so unfair? Get a grip. Youve got a roof over your head, a child and a job. Be grateful for what you've got.

Like many PPs I think you could afford another baby if you cut back on expenses. How old are you and did you have TTC issues or are you expecting them @winkletwinkletoes?

I’m assuming you have an exit penalty on your fixed rate mortgage. I’ve a couple of friends who were better off remortgaging early and paying the exit penalty. Just something else you could look at. Xx

Hey op, you are in exactly the situation we were in a year or so again- future childcare costs for a dc2 eating up the majority of our disposable income. However, the thought of not having a second child was eating away at me more than the thought of a few years of money being tight- you will always earn more money but the time for children and building your family is now. You seem to be slightly better off than us as well, our ‘disposable’ income of £600/£700 per month has to include food and petrol for two cars. It’s doable. Baby number 2 is due in Jan, still not 100% on the financial figures but definitely no regret and I am sure we will get through it ok xx

It sounds like you really want another baby. Is it likely that your partners wage will increase any time soon with him being in training? Can you wait until then? This would also depend on your age too I suppose.

as I've commented several times, you don't say your age. My guess is that you're fairly young and have got a few years to play with, which makes this whole debate silly.

If you're 38, have a baby and get through it. If you're 30, then focus on getting yourself a promotion and DH boosting his earnings for the next 3 years and then have a baby.

I don't know why all the value judgments about other people were needed.

Hang the fuck on.
You're taking 2.6k per month after tax.
Precisely what benefits is anybody on to be taking 2.6k a month?

This is what pisses me off about the benefits system. My Mum’s neighbour lives in a 2 bedroom flat with 4 children and doesn’t work, and is moaning that the council haven’t magicked up somewhere bigger for them all to live. And yet here the OP is contemplating how to afford a second. It’s so fucking unfair.

She'll be getting a maximum of £350 pw in benefits, unless someone in the family is disabled, and that includes her housing benefit. That's only a tiny bit more than the OP gets. Hardly a fortune for a family of 6.

And that level of overcrowding is criminal.

Precisely what benefits is anybody on to be taking 2.6k a month?

A couple on ESA (WRAG or support group) where both are getting PIP (one at enhanced rate) and full housing benefit would be on close to that if they live in the south-east where rents are high.

The voice- I earn 22.5k which equates to 1400pm and he he earns 18.5k which equates to 1250pm. So not high earners and not minimum wage either.

Wifey- we used a financial advisor. Didn't buy a house on the top end of budget still had 20-30k if we chose.
Also mortgage was based on current wages... did not forecast DH new job to happen as soon as it has. Also got a good borrowing rate due low childcare and careful spending.

People do not take 2.6k per month I have not said that. My point isn't that... But I know a family of 4 which has 900pm disposable income once housing benefit and council tax benefit has paid for them. So they get £900pm in tax credits/child benefit plus £700rent paid and £100 council tax so their total monthly income still equates to £1700. Yes it may be paid direct to whoever but what I was aiming at saying is there take home mirrors many working class families. And they have chosen to stay at home.
So no... they do not take as much home but once the big part of their expenses has been paid for them they are left with far more to play with than some
Families who work full time.

the key point though is that you and your DH are both investing in your careers, in your house. Not the same as people on benefits - that's the best they'll ever do.

Still haven't mentioned your age!