To think some people really don’t understand what an introvert is

[Glassfrog]

I was travelling with some colleagues recently and we were talking about socialising outside of work. I remarked that I’m quite introverted, that I prefer to spend time with people one-on-one, and although I enjoy it to a point, I find it tiring and need a lot of time to myself as well. I added that I don’t really enjoy socialising in large groups at all.

One of my colleagues replied that it was fine to only have one or two friends (meaning me). I’ve actually got quite a lot of very close friends! They’re just not friends with each other and I spend time with them individually.

I took it from her comment that she assumes that introverts are loners with no or few friends - is that a very commonly-held view?

I did a test as part of a psychology study.

I was an extrovert when I was younger- a little bit shy and reserved but came to life in parties and groups. When I was on my own I was ok, loved reading, but would get down if I didn’t get out and about a bit.

Now I’m older, I find being around people exhausting. I have all the skills, but would really rather not. I have good friends, I’m very busy and active in my community, but I dream of being able to stay home all day with my dog and my books. I need very very little outside interaction now.

But extrovert is seen as an admirable trait

I'm not sure this is universally true. In school, extroverts are constantly in trouble for being loud and over-sociable in lessons. In many workplaces, being extrovert is probably not a particular advantage.

and there is always an assumption that reading books is the preserve of introverts alone..........

There's also the assumption that a person with their nose in a book is an engrossed introvert (not an introvert hiding behind their book pretending to read!).

Hell is lots of other people. To me.

I can interract and go out to a concert/gig etc. and meet up for a meal. But I can honestly say hand on heart I am delighted to get home to my cocoon. Every time.

Everyone is different. Labels are not good either.

Look at Susan Cain's TED talk. The blurb for the talk says.....

"In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated."

That made me feel so good about myself. Thanks Susan.

www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts

Neither introverts nor extroverts are special- actually, no, both are special. We each have strengths, extroverts' strengths are easier to see!

My understanding of being an introvert (following a management course were we had to do a Myers Brigg test) was its how you choose to recharge your batteries?