To think this ‘game’ was really inappropriate and to complain?

[TattiusTeddius]

Went out for a meal with DH today at a chain Italian place. The waiter took our order and then when he was finished said “thanks Lucy” (my name). I was as I had no idea who this guy was or how he knew me. DH asked but I said I honestly haven’t got the foggiest, and he joked about are you sure he isn’t a previous conquest (I had a, how would you say, illustrious sexual history pre-DH). The waiter kept on saying my name whenever he served us drinks and courses and I felt really rude that I didn’t know him back but he obviously knew me.

Anyway at the end of the meal when we were paying the bill, he said “Do you want to know how I know you?”. I said yes, clearly a bit embarrassed. Then he said “I don’t!”. He explained how the staff were playing a ‘game’, if someone walked in the restaurant who one of them knew, another waiter or waitress would serve them using their name constantly to freak them out. It turns out my friend’s sister works in the kitchen so passed my name on to the waiter. I kind of did a “oh ha ha ha” but TBH I was a bit appalled.

AIBU to think that this ‘game’ was really inappropriate? What if my DH had been an abusive man who didn’t see the funny side? Luckily he’s not but this is something that would provoke many partners to lash out. Aside from that, it’s just not very professional to do that to customers. WIBU to complain to a manager? DH thinks I’m over reacting 🙄

Or am I just an old stick in the mud?

I have a life. I also have PTSD which causes severe anxiety. But it's usually the nasty, vindictive people that can't understand mental illness and accuse sufferers of all sorts. There are a few on this thread.

I agree, @ProfessorCat. And the 'nasty and vindictive' people you speak of are lucky that they don't know what it feels like to be mentally ill or anxious. If they could walk a mile in the shoes of someone who is mentally ill or does suffer anxiety, maybe they would be a bit more understanding.

Mummyoflittledragon I am so sorry to hear about your abusive brother. Can you take out some form if injunction so he cannot contact you? Your mum to if you choose that.

Whilst some people might not be bothered by this "game", others will be & you clearly were bothered. I would be too. Why would any business think it's funny to treat customers like this?

If I were you, I'd tell the manager/owner & id put a review on Trip Advisor.

Myheartbelongsto so you would be happy to be the target of a 'game' at your expense? If this is your idea of fun I'd ask what your quality of life is like!

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin if your issue is being faced with having to wear a name badge just pick a different name or take it up with the manager.

"A good restaurant will rememeber who called, who made the booking, why, and solicit information to make it a great occassion"

This is not what the post is about! It's about a spiteful game to embarrass a customer.

Your comment to the OP is incredibly rude and shows you to be very thoughtless and un-insightful; is that how you intended to come across?

Had this of been me it would have caused huge issues! My ex was an abusive control freak (charmer to the outside world though) i would have been in so much trouble!!

Plus, you really dont play games with customers.

TBH, the moment he explained it was a "game" I'd have been demanding to speak to the manager right there and then. I don't go out to a restaurant so the staff can have a joke at my expense. YANBU and frankly the waiter's behaviour was appallingly unprofessional. And if it got him the sack then frankly he should have considered that before playing.

Completely inappropriate. You're paying for a relaxing meal and spend your time freaked out, and be entertainment for the staff! Not fair to freak people out at any point never mind when your paying. Manager should know as people will stop going.

Italiangreyhound Thanks. Idk. I’m hoping he will get the message but it will be something to consider if he doesn’t. Thanks.

What if my DH had been an abusive man
Then noone or any situation would change that.

This is totally unacceptable. Your meal was ruined. You will never go back - you might well spread the word which could stop others from going.

It's totally unfair on you and on the rest of the restaurant team.

I would let the manager know - it's his business that this guy is seeking to ruin.

"A good restaurant will rememeber who called, who made the booking, why, and solicit information to make it a great occassion"

What a ridiculous post. A good restaurant which legitimately knows my name would refer to me as Ms DelicateAir when I arrived. The waiter would not start and continue repeatedly to call me "Lass"

I assume the waiters and waitresses are quite young and rather immature. Maybe you should explain to them that it could cause problems in certain relationships, and you will not complain to the manager this time.
This way, you won't feel uncomfortable when you visit the restaurant again, and they will welcome you.

Overfamiliar, and i wouldn't like a silly game being played to 'freak me out' and amuse the staff.

this could have caused real problems for you with your DH, for all the restaurant staff knew.
I would leave a long detailed review on TripAdvisor and complain to management.
but then I always was a trouble making biatch...
serioulsy though, this could have caused real problems for some couples.
Idiots.

I wouldn't go back to this restaurant. Management needs to know.

I just couldn't get worked up about this.

I have experienced crippling anxiety in my life but I still couldn't get worked up about this.

Not everyone that suffers anxiety or has a mental illness would react negatively to this.

I would complain to Head Office. That could seriously upset someone with mental health issues too.

Luckily he’s not but this is something that would provoke many partners to lash out.

If your partner does this, the silly waiter game is the least of your problems. Honestly.

Myheartbelongsto I might get upset at being the subject of a joke made by people I don't know: especially when I am paying to sit and eat in the place where it happens and the joke is played by the people paid to take my order and being me the food!

Fridgepants, I didn't say that at all.

What I mean is if your partner is the type to lash out because of this then you have bigger problems.

Only on mumsnet do you have to pull the words from your mouth before you say anything or have to include a million disclaimers that you didn't mean this, that and the other.

Very inappropriate. Also pretty rude. I wouldn't eat there again.