To think this ‘game’ was really inappropriate and to complain?

[TattiusTeddius]

Went out for a meal with DH today at a chain Italian place. The waiter took our order and then when he was finished said “thanks Lucy” (my name). I was as I had no idea who this guy was or how he knew me. DH asked but I said I honestly haven’t got the foggiest, and he joked about are you sure he isn’t a previous conquest (I had a, how would you say, illustrious sexual history pre-DH). The waiter kept on saying my name whenever he served us drinks and courses and I felt really rude that I didn’t know him back but he obviously knew me.

Anyway at the end of the meal when we were paying the bill, he said “Do you want to know how I know you?”. I said yes, clearly a bit embarrassed. Then he said “I don’t!”. He explained how the staff were playing a ‘game’, if someone walked in the restaurant who one of them knew, another waiter or waitress would serve them using their name constantly to freak them out. It turns out my friend’s sister works in the kitchen so passed my name on to the waiter. I kind of did a “oh ha ha ha” but TBH I was a bit appalled.

AIBU to think that this ‘game’ was really inappropriate? What if my DH had been an abusive man who didn’t see the funny side? Luckily he’s not but this is something that would provoke many partners to lash out. Aside from that, it’s just not very professional to do that to customers. WIBU to complain to a manager? DH thinks I’m over reacting 🙄

Or am I just an old stick in the mud?

Yes, it's out of line. You play games with people you know, friends, family, etc. You don't play games with strangers or even worse customers. It's just weird and not on. I would email the head office of the chain. I wouldn't send a letter to the branch as they won't see the letter. The staff will open any letters that they think might be a complaint.

I'm glad you complained. If nothing else it's tiresome and doesn't exactly help you have a relaxing meal.

@lasswithedelicateair jeez...it wasn't appropriate hence why it should be addressed, but people make mistakes! It wasn't done with malice, just without thought.

These people have bills to pay, families to support, no they shouldn't have played this "game", but come on!

@Mumsiemummy1 then they should’ve thought of that before deciding “freaking customers out” is funny.
What if a policeman banged on your door to see if u freak out?
What if your child’s school left an “urgent” message on your phone for shits and giggles?
What if your doctor’s receptionist told you the wrong appointment for funnies?
Yes people make mistakes. Taking the piss out of others and trying to freak them out is deliberate not a mistake.

@rebelrogue except all of those examples are pretty extreme! Naive waitress plays innocent joke, policeman knocks on door...not exactly the same are they!

It wasn't a mistake! It was a group of people, some of whom presumably had some form of intelligence, playing an unsuitable game on paying customers.

If it's a first offence they deserve a reprimand and proper training. If they've done other things in the past they're in the wrong job.

Not the OP's problem.

It is not an innocent joke, @Mumsiemummy1 - they were taking positive delight in freaking customers out. They were doing it deliberately - it was in no way accidental.

Look at it this way - if customers are made uncomfortable, by being made the butt of the staff’s ‘joke’, they are likely to vote with their feet, and not go back. If enough people do that, the restaurant might close, and all the staff could be out of work.

Even if it doesn’t impact the business that severely, it might still damage profits - when uncomfortable customers either cut their meal short, and don’t spend what they might have spent, or where they don’t go back.

If you owned a cafe or restaurant, would you be happy about your staff deliberately doing something they knew would freak customers out, as a ‘joke’ amongst themselves, and cost you money?

Naive waitress plays innocent joke

The waiter was not naive nor was it innocent or a joke.

And to give another view - my
child who has chronic anxiety amongst other problems would have been really
unsettled about this. Really unsettled. To the point of repeated questioning about what else did they know? Our address? Were they going to come to our house? Why did they want to freak us out?
It would go on and on and on.

To those saying that the staff aren’t responsible for abuse or anxiety - maybe not. But they are responsible for trying to unsettle and freak out people. They think that is entertaining? How much of a twat do you have to be to consider upsetting people to be a great sport?
Most people wouldn’t enjoy being freaked out. Some of us have much more serious consequences to deal with than a feeling of curiosity and being mildly unsure of the situation.

I’d email including the receipt details do they can identify staff. IME this chain care a great deal about customer service. I made a complaint years ago and they phoned me up, knew who I was talking about immediately and said they were giving her further training. I also given vouchers but that wasn’t my intent at all.

Naive waitress plays innocent joke

An innocent joke would have been:

Waiter: "Thanks for your order, Lucy ... anything else, Tom?" ^You should see your confused faces!

I think it sounds like they're copying an American show called "Impractical Jokers" which always involves 4 male friends tricking people in some way. Sort of show men in their 20's would love

I would have hated this, not fun

I also wondered if they ever picked on men, I'm sure not

I'm glad you complained.

This is an extremely inappropriate, creepy, nasty (non) "joke" to play on people. I'd never return to a business that pulled a stunt like like this.

Yep, my ex would have had a very, very big issue with this. I would have been scared thinking about what would happen when we arrived home.

As usual mn, clinging to fractioned of what has been posted rather than the entirety...it was inappropriate, something absolutely should be said.

glad youv complaind op if you dont get any joy go on social media

hope they do address this

So glad to hear that this was reported.
If this had happened to me then absolutely nothing of consequence would have happened but that doesn't make it acceptable or right in the slightest, and for people to point out the distress or physical pain that this could potentially cause and defend the game shocks me.
I go about my day trying not to be a dick. Yes, sometimes i may mess up, but to deliberately act in a way where people may be hurt and not care is completely alien to me & not how i am raising my children to behave.

I hope he doesnt lose his job, have afamily to feed and clothe, put a roof over their heads and end up homeless all on top of Christmas. Will no one think of the imagianary kiddiewinks

Frankly if the OP cant say to the waiter: "Luigi, you keep calling my Lucy, do I know you", then Im not entirely sure she should be allowed out without her hand being held to cross the road.

hmmconfused

I’m not sure that - given you can’t tell the difference between knowing someone’s name because they’re wearing a name badge, and a stranger using your name to intimidate you - you should be allowed to cross the road alone either. Perhaps use a pelican crossing? Green man means it’s safe to cross. You’re welcome

You seem to be a little slow on the uptake your self Love, if you cant address the person straight away. It's all such an 11 page drama of everyone dragging out their little pecadilloes to affirm you're incapable of actually asking a simple question "You keep calling me Lucy, do I know you?" perhaps you just liked the attention?

How unprofessional. I would be very annoyed, my husband isn't the jealous type but I would be extremely embarrassed and would not enjoy my meal at all. I would definitely complain, whether one of the other staff members was my friends sister or not.

It's all such an 11 page drama of everyone dragging out their little pecadilloes

Yeah, such annoying killjoys with their stories of abuse and mental health issues Surely you don’t mean peccadilloes as in minor problem? You’re saying people’s experiences of domestic violence are minor, is that right?

perhaps you just liked the attention?

Well, if we’re just throwing random assumptions out there, then perhaps you’re just a minimising dickhead? 🤷‍♀️

Sloesloe
Or perhaps you just enjoy being a rude and refuse to take posters comments at face value.

I think it's funny'n

SloeSloe is a Russian trollbot, sent in to sow discord

OP will you let us know what they say?

let us know OP, hope they respond.