To think this ‘game’ was really inappropriate and to complain?

[TattiusTeddius]

Went out for a meal with DH today at a chain Italian place. The waiter took our order and then when he was finished said “thanks Lucy” (my name). I was as I had no idea who this guy was or how he knew me. DH asked but I said I honestly haven’t got the foggiest, and he joked about are you sure he isn’t a previous conquest (I had a, how would you say, illustrious sexual history pre-DH). The waiter kept on saying my name whenever he served us drinks and courses and I felt really rude that I didn’t know him back but he obviously knew me.

Anyway at the end of the meal when we were paying the bill, he said “Do you want to know how I know you?”. I said yes, clearly a bit embarrassed. Then he said “I don’t!”. He explained how the staff were playing a ‘game’, if someone walked in the restaurant who one of them knew, another waiter or waitress would serve them using their name constantly to freak them out. It turns out my friend’s sister works in the kitchen so passed my name on to the waiter. I kind of did a “oh ha ha ha” but TBH I was a bit appalled.

AIBU to think that this ‘game’ was really inappropriate? What if my DH had been an abusive man who didn’t see the funny side? Luckily he’s not but this is something that would provoke many partners to lash out. Aside from that, it’s just not very professional to do that to customers. WIBU to complain to a manager? DH thinks I’m over reacting 🙄

Or am I just an old stick in the mud?

Dancing i was gonna leave a fiver tip but I was a bit annoyed so put a 50p coin down instead.

*Did you not ask him how he knew your name the first time he said it?

No, I was hoping that it would just come to me (I’m a bit slow these days!)*

Ah, makes sense! I think you're entitled to mention it to the manager if it ruined your evening. It is weird.

Bold fail.

I thought it sounded funny at first. But then again I have severe visual processing disorder so hardly recognise people that know me - so I'd have been desperately trying to question who they were thinking I was the tit

But your point about abusive partners rings true. More the "o don't know who it is" that they can twist rather than someone knowing - or appearing to know - who you are.

I agree mention it to friends sister and encourage her to speak to staff.

This actually happened to me once and I was going mad trying to place the guy. When he came clean I cracked up laughing.

I guess I'm in a minority though.

Yes, you should complain for all the reasons given on this thread so far.

I'd complain, give no tip or take back any I had given, and I'd never go back!

I agree with you. This isn't friendly; it's amusing themselves at your expense

YANBU - If I had been with my (thankfully) ex - there would have been reprecussions [for me] and my life would have been hell for a considerable time.
It seems harmless 'fun' - but NO.

I would put it in the trip adviser review. What a bunch of dickheads.

I'd complain to the manager and probably never go back there. As I go out for a meal to feel a bit pampered not to be unnerved.

I don't think I'd even notice if they used my first name.

I thought of this straightaway when I read your post

Customers are there to relax and enjoy a meal and time out, not amuse the staff.

I would hate this! It would really annoy me trying to figure out how they knew me, and then I would just be pissed off that I had wasted any of my time thinking about it whilst I should have had my full attention on my evening out.

Bloody hell, they could cause someone in an abusive relationship a shit load of grief.

Also a lot of stress for someone who has been abused, stalked or suffers anxiety. Not funny at all.

" would serve them using their name constantly to freak them out. "

So they want to make paying customers feel uncomfortable?

Absolutely complain!

I’d hate that, I would definitely complain. I’m quite introverted (but not shy) and something like would ruin a meal for me.
Plus if I’m being old fashioned they should really ask before using your first name.

I totally get you point op. My (ex) husband would have made me suffer for that. And then never let me forget it, on and fucking on with the questions. Years later it would be brought up. And no one would guess from the outside. Its hard to describe the abuse that goes on behind closed doors. It must have seemed hilarious to them. Speechless, really. So fucking stupid and irresponsible. Just do your job in a professional way. Do your job, be proud and don't imagine you're in some comedy show. Fuck sake.

He would have had a bloody earful from me for using my first name all the time when I had no idea who he was.

Mention it to your friend's sister. Tell her that you overheard another customer saying they'd leave a rubbish review. She can relay it back and they can drop the game.
I think if you complain to management your waiter could end up getting fired and I don't think it merits that tbh especially since he wasn't the only member of staff playing the game

That would annoy me. I wouldn't tip.

I wonder if it was only a game they played on women?

People don't take kindly to being made a fool of but men are more likely to get aggressive.

I wouldn't like it for the reasons you gave.

I read of this on FB a while back and the same point about abusive partners was made.

I would have been annoyed about that (and my DH is lovely) it’s not exactly calculated to put the customer at their ease is it?

I would have complained to the waiter at the time and we wouldn’t be returning to the restaurant.