To think this ‘game’ was really inappropriate and to complain?

[TattiusTeddius]

Went out for a meal with DH today at a chain Italian place. The waiter took our order and then when he was finished said “thanks Lucy” (my name). I was as I had no idea who this guy was or how he knew me. DH asked but I said I honestly haven’t got the foggiest, and he joked about are you sure he isn’t a previous conquest (I had a, how would you say, illustrious sexual history pre-DH). The waiter kept on saying my name whenever he served us drinks and courses and I felt really rude that I didn’t know him back but he obviously knew me.

Anyway at the end of the meal when we were paying the bill, he said “Do you want to know how I know you?”. I said yes, clearly a bit embarrassed. Then he said “I don’t!”. He explained how the staff were playing a ‘game’, if someone walked in the restaurant who one of them knew, another waiter or waitress would serve them using their name constantly to freak them out. It turns out my friend’s sister works in the kitchen so passed my name on to the waiter. I kind of did a “oh ha ha ha” but TBH I was a bit appalled.

AIBU to think that this ‘game’ was really inappropriate? What if my DH had been an abusive man who didn’t see the funny side? Luckily he’s not but this is something that would provoke many partners to lash out. Aside from that, it’s just not very professional to do that to customers. WIBU to complain to a manager? DH thinks I’m over reacting 🙄

Or am I just an old stick in the mud?

Fuckwits. Yes I'd complain loudly on TripAdvisor. I wonder how often men are the butt of their hilariously amusing game

When you're paying to enjoy a meal out, you don't want the waiter to be playing "games" with you, making bets about you, having a laugh at your expense.

I might find this funny in other contexts, but definitely not when I'm the customer and am paying to enjoy my meal!

Obviously yes some people would hate it, it's not appropriate to do towards customers.

Something like that would really freak me out and in the past, on a bad day, could have even caused a panic attack.

I would complain.

I wouldn’t like it at all, it would freak me out tbh.

Yanbu I would complain. Stupid game.

I agree it’s not appropriate, I’d complain to the manager and put on trip advisor .

I hate it when staff who do legitimately know your name address you informally .

“ Thank you for choosing to place your insurance with X company today, can I call you Kristina or Kris ? “

Neither, you can call me Ms Smith until I tell you otherwise . #oldbat

Exactly as pps have said. You don't eat out to be made the butt of jokes. You want to relax and enjoy yourself.

I would also complain directly and on trip advisor.

I bet you're right

That's not funny in the least and would make me feel very uncomfortable and spoil the meal. Definitely complain.

That was to harry

Absolutely I'd complain, fuckwits! As others have said the customers are not there to be butt of the staffs' 'jokes', bets or any thing else.

Is the restaurant part of a larger chain? I'd complain direct to the manager but also CC in the Head Office - the twat waiter you had said they'd already 'done' a few tables just that evening - extrapolating that over each week that's a lot of potentially pissed off customers.

“that there was a sweepstake prize for the person who ‘got’ The most customers. He was only about 21/22 and clearly thought himself hilarious.”

I would be beyond furious if my staff treated customers like this. They would be teetering on the last rung of a Final Warning.

Utterly disrespectful, childish, unprofessional and insensitive.

That would really unsettle me. And it's not nice to think of the staff all having their little game almost mocking the customers.

Waiting staff are there to put you at ease and help you have a relaxing time. This is the opposite of that. It's like those annoying men who think it's clever to tease young women and girls by nicking their hat or pen or something. Dicks.

I have a few ex's who I know would have given me a hard time if this happened to me.

So I think I would say something, saying that if I was out with friends id most likely drive myself mad trying to think how they knew me an would probably find it a little funny, but mmm it wouldn't be and at all with somebody in an abusive relationship

YANBU. Why not email the head office and link them to this thread to give them an insight to the problems it could cause?

I'd complain. This would make me extremely uncomfortable and unlikely to return tbh.

I went to a restaurant before where a waiter made an inappropriate joke. I have aspergers and cannot always tell when people are joking, he didn't look like he was tbh and I felt very uncomfortable and humiliated ('joke' was do with me sucking something off when I had asked for no sauce on my food) but people said he was joking. I still felt it was inappropriate and wrote a letter of complaint. I received a letter back from the manager apologising, saying he would be retrained and a £30 voucher. I wasn't expecting it tbh but I'm glad I spoke out and didn't just accept it.

I would not like it. I have two good friends who are with sadly very controlling men and something like this would really set them off.

Even leaving that aside I don't think it is appropriate game. I would probably complain to the head office.

No, it's not funny at all. I've had this only I was the one working when a customer approached my bar telling me about stories from when I was a child. He was with a old bully from primary school trying to play mind games by saying he knew things about me but wouldn't tell me who he was. I wasn't having any of it and didn't bow down to the intimidation and showed them up for acting the bully in front of all their mates.

Complain. It's childish and quite hurtful when someone is having a laugh at your expense. Certainly not an experience that should be tolerated when you're a paying customer.

Idiots. Wrong in so many ways.

If this had happened to me when I was with my ex he would have made my life hell for months and most likely have knocked me around too.

And that's aside from the appalling customer service these jerks are giving their customers.

I'd go on Trip Advisor or contact the manager or both.

Unprofessional and rude. I would be willing to bet that their management would be appalled by this - definitely complain.

Weird that your DH's first thought was the guy was someone you had shagged and forgottten

I am a restaurant manager and I would be very unimpressed if the staff were doing this and I would definitely want to know about it!

Completely unprofessional and the opposite of our role, which is to make guests feel comfortable.

I'd complain, what a twat. If this had happened to me with my ex, he wasn't physically abusive but there's no way he'd have let it lie and would have gone on and in about how I knew him until we'd had an almighty row. So no, not in the least bit funny. It's bloody weird.