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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think it's a bit weird to put your photo as a bride as as your main

342 replies

LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 12/11/2017 23:33

profile picture on FB/Twitter? especially if you haven't just got married!
Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?

OP posts:
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 12/11/2017 23:35

No it's simply this was a big day I like to remember and this picture looks good!

jemsywemsy · 12/11/2017 23:37

I think it's just because it's a nice photo of you looking your best, and a happy memory? I've never made a connection with the wife thing in the way you've put it when I've seen it. I also don't think that when someone posts pictures of them with their DC, or their work colleagues, or sports team or whatever that it says it's what they are first and foremost, just that it's a nice picture with people they love.

Ginormoustrawberry · 12/11/2017 23:37
Hmm
Hohomcfo · 12/11/2017 23:40

NIce hair, nice make up, nice dress. Why would you choose a random selfie, would be as good a question?

Coastalcommand · 12/11/2017 23:41

Most people don't normally get professional hair and make up. They look their best on their wedding day.

Bubblebubblepop · 12/11/2017 23:42

No

FusionChefGeoff · 12/11/2017 23:42

Some people change back to wedding pics for their anniversary?

PeiPeiPing · 12/11/2017 23:44

Not weird at all no. Hmm

It's weird that you think it's weird.

Oysterbabe · 12/11/2017 23:44

No it isn't like saying that at all. It's like saying I look good in this picture or this was a particularly happy memory for me.
I have a picture of DD because she is beautiful and I look like shit, not because I'm a mother first and foremost.

MaroonPencil · 12/11/2017 23:45

Not really. I had it for a few years, it was the only photo I had of me where I am looking at the camera and my head is big enough and there is just me in the shot. I have had a picture of me and DS2 as a baby for the last six years, again because I happen to be looking at the camera which is rare. He is seven now so I should probably change it.

KarriPotter · 12/11/2017 23:47

I’ve had my wedding photo as my profile picture and I got married wayyyyyyyy before fb was a thing.
I agree with pp, hair and makeup done, beaut of a dress & professional photo - happy memories - why shouldn’t I have it up?

Pinkgeek · 12/11/2017 23:47

Not wierd in my opinion. Brides are beautiful!

passmethewineplease · 12/11/2017 23:48

I think you're reading a little too much in to it OP...

MrsHathaway · 12/11/2017 23:49

I think it's a shame that some people think they look their best on the day they look least like themselves. Your FB profile should surely reflect who you generally are, not who you appeared to be on one day.

Wedding profile pictures are pretty normal for a year or so afterwards, plus anniversaries. Never quite getting round to changing it is one thing; deliberately changing back to it instead of any number of other photos is surely another.

That said, I prefer profile photos where you can see who it is - not your cat or your rose bush or your favourite inspirational meme or the back of your head - and bridal photos especially full length are difficult to tell apart in thumbnail. So I feel that a wedding photo doesn't do the job. Cover photo or featured photo, absolutely. Just not profile picture.

AuntieBeast · 12/11/2017 23:49

YANBU. I always think it’s a bit pathetic. Acceptable only on your wedding anniversary and then, FFS, not every year.

SureJan · 12/11/2017 23:52

What makes you think brides don't look like themselves? Hmm

KarriPotter · 12/11/2017 23:54

Nope, pretty sure I didn’t have a face transplant or anything. Very light neutral make up. Definitely tell it’s me.

Originalfoogirl · 12/11/2017 23:56

I definitely looked like me on my wedding day. Why wouldn’t I?

firawla · 12/11/2017 23:56

It’s obviously because they look much better in the photo, but I do think there’s a limit. I had mine when I was newly wed ish but now 12 years down the line and 4 kids later I’m less youthful and slightly fatter so i thought it better to put a more recent pic that actually looks like me! I wouldn’t think people are necessarily saying “I’m only a wife first and foremost” if they put their wedding pic though

PeiPeiPing · 12/11/2017 23:58

Bizarre comment @MrsHathaway

I look exactly like me on my wedding photos! Confused

I gather YOU didn't look like you normally do on YOUR wedding day?! Wink

MaroonPencil · 12/11/2017 23:58

Come to think of it you wouldn't know it was my wedding day as it is just my face, apart from I am wearing a tiara. Is that acceptable? I might wear tiaras on a regular basis.

coldcanary · 12/11/2017 23:59

I haven’t done this but I looked bloody gorgeous on my wedding day - far more than I do now after 3 kids and 16 years!
Maybe I’ll change it over next week..

LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 13/11/2017 00:05

I find it strange I suppose because it's not usual! I'm not a huge user of social media but a regular, and never seen that before on profiles I looked at, admittedly not 1000s of profiles.

MrsHathaway, that's the thing I didn't mention - this woman's profile pic was never a wedding one before (not that she's hugely active) but suddenly it's the bride in veil (not full length though)! The makeup is quite unnatural-looking, she looked better in previous photos.

AuntieBeast well good to know you agree - would you say it's a bit of a statement?

To posters who mentioned group photos with DC or friends/colleagues - I think it's not the same at all, group photos sort of show people you like or he fact you are sociable, this is just a portrait, not a group wedding photo. Personally, I wouldn't (when I was married)!
But ok, if this is actually a stunning photo, I can see why some would just not switch to it well after the wedding

OP posts:
SureJan · 13/11/2017 00:10

Bit judgy OP!
I think most people want to show a profile picture where they look their best. Many people feel they looked their best on their wedding day.
Surely they can't look completely unrecognisable, it's still them!

SinisterBumFacedCat · 13/11/2017 00:10

yabu

There are also plenty of men who put upload profile pics of themselves on their wedding day on Facebook, but what me wear is rarely up for discussion.