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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's a bit weird to put your photo as a bride as as your main

342 replies

LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 12/11/2017 23:33

profile picture on FB/Twitter? especially if you haven't just got married!
Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?

OP posts:

Original poster

LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 13/11/2017 00:59

WhatToDo also FB and twitter are quite different, FB is often 'protected' and used mainly by friends/family, who presumably been to the wedding! Twitter is public and more superficial if you like.

OP posts:

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 13/11/2017 01:11

Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?

Probably not. More likely means I like how I look in this photoe. But who cares anyway? What possible difference does it make to you?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 13/11/2017 01:12

LoveforPGTipsMonkey I don't use Twitter, but if I did I would probably choose a wedding pic.

It's not so much a statement as much as "this was the happiest day of my life and I want to be constantly reminded of it". Secondarily to that, I like people to know I'm married as one of the first things they see and/or know about me.

FeelingAggrieved · 13/11/2017 01:25

"Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?"

No. YABU.

MakeItStopNeville · 13/11/2017 01:39

Y are obviously being completely unreasonable because everyone can have whatever photo they like up on fB. At the same time, when I read comments like from “Whattodo2017”,have you really not had a happier day 5 years later?! Because that’s kind of sad.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 13/11/2017 01:57

have you really not had a happier day 5 years later?! Because that’s kind of sad.

It's not sad at all. I've had many happy days since then, but my wedding day is still the happiest I've ever been. It's the day my DH and I exchanged vows and publicly declared our love for each other in front of those we love.

I'd think there was something wrong if it wasn't the happiest day of someone's life barring the births of their children!

Newbiecat · 13/11/2017 02:17

Ha ha, this post made me chuckle! This is me! I have one social media account and my main picture is a closeup of me on my wedding day and my two university housemates- all beaming. It's been there for 8 years. Why would I be weird?! This is a lovely happy memory of a wonderful day shared with friends.
I really don't do selfies, in fact I can't stand them. I'd much rather have a FB profile like mine than a stupid, pouting, self obsessed selfie in a mirror like many people do.
Oh, and just for the record I am a successful career woman with 3 kids so I am known for a lot more than being a wife!

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 13/11/2017 02:18

Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?

You are massively reaching there OP

Oh give over Neville that's a really daft thing to say to what and what I totally agree with you, our wedding day and births of DC were definitely the happiest days of my life. I have had many happy days since, but they and the days that our DC graduated University are the happiest. When DC get married , they will be added to my happiest days.

It is petty OP that this is even a concern to you. Are you by chance jealous of this woman?

tiptopteepe · 13/11/2017 02:22

I paid over a thousand pounds for my wedding photos and then some if you include the dress, hair, makeup and flowers. I went to the gymn for ages before hand as well. So im damn well going to get my moneys worth by using them whenever I feel like it!! Hahaha

Seriously though I dont think its about thinking that 'you are first and foremost a wife' Its just remembering a good day you had where you looked really good and were presumably happy!

I put the odd wedding photo as my profile pic after the event. Usually on our anniversary but once or twice because my husband was away and I missed him so was looking thru the wedding pics album and remembered all the lovely photos!!

Ginandplatonic · 13/11/2017 02:52

I have a photo of my dog for mine - this is making me wonder what people read into that.....

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/11/2017 03:30

I’m sooooo glad I am not an active Facebook user.

So bloody what. She’s an individual and an adult. She gets to decide what she does and the picture she uses.

SpareASquare · 13/11/2017 03:35

Clearly you don't like her OP so would it really matter what her photo was?
Best to just admit this is more personal than just the choice of pic and move on.

justinelibertine · 13/11/2017 03:54

Oh dear OP, you're a bit jel aren't you.

Merida83 · 13/11/2017 04:41

I've been married for quite a few years. My wedding day pics are only pics I've ever looked at and thought I look nice in. I randomly change profile pic to a wedding one. Not one of just me, tends to be me and dh. It's no real statement of anything just a pic I like and as that's only one that's availible on a public search why not have it be one I'm happy with.

kali110 · 13/11/2017 06:17

Wow, yes yabu.
Why can't people use whatever pic makes them happy?
If its a pic of their wedding day so what?

it's about social media presentation. Most (proud or not) wives don't use their wedding photos to chat to the public as they see it as personal.
Then you clearly haven't been on sm long enough.
I frequently come across people with their wedding day as their profile pic.
you may see it as personal, but not everyone feels the same.
It's a picture, that's it.

i didn't say it's a bad statement to make but she's a mature woman and used to be quite independent,
Does the fact that she's changed her pic to her wedding one changed this?

pictish · 13/11/2017 06:30

My friend has put a profile pic of herself as a bride before...around the time of her wedding anniversary. I didn't think anything of it other than she looked lovely.
Think you're being a bit sour about someone else's happy thoughts.

minmooch · 13/11/2017 06:39

Gated some people have to much time to overthink things.

Maybe she likes the photo, maybe it’s an anniversary, maybe somebody died who was close to her and was a big support at her wedding. Maybe, maybe, maybe ..... really does it matter? If you don’t like it scroll by it!

bandito · 13/11/2017 06:45

OK, so now fb profile is some sort of statement about yourself, rather than a nice picture that you might choose to look at every time you log in? I've had some bluebells since the spring and before that, it was a bit of the Devon coast where we had a nice weekend. I expect some friends might have looked at it and thought, "Oh, I've been there" but no more than that.

HowDoYouWantToDoThis · 13/11/2017 06:50

What on earth is wrong with veils now?!

If I want to put a wedding picture as my profile I will, because I look bloody great and I don't give a damn if anyone thinks my makeup is too heavy or that it's a shame I'm wearing a veil, or that I'm shackling myself to a man and losing my independence Because guess what, it's my wedding, my choices and my flippin' social media account! Don't like it, unfollow me.

InfiniteSheldon · 13/11/2017 06:53

justinelibertine

Oh dear OP, you're a bit jel aren't you.

Nailed it

MaisyPops · 13/11/2017 06:56

Not sure why you are obsessed with coming back to 'is it becaise she wants to be seen as a wife first and foremost' and 'i mean it's fine if she wanta to remind everyone she's a wife'.

You sound overly invested in whoever this is if you're speculating the motivation behind a profile picture.

Sometimes I put a wedding one on. It was a lovely day abd a nice memory. If someone said 'oohh so you are only interested in being defined as a wife' I'd and think they were quite odd.

FergalBurgal · 13/11/2017 06:58

My profile picture was of me on my wedding day for years. But there was no veil, no professional makeup and a £30 dress. It was just a photo I loved that made me smile whenever I thought back to that exact moment. And I looked pretty fit
It's now a picture of me in a Halloween costume.
Is that me announcing I'm a witch first and foremost??

24steve · 13/11/2017 07:00

not wierd - to question it may be, you have to wonder why

RandomDreams · 13/11/2017 07:00

You sound jealous OP.

There's nothing wrong with using a wedding photo as a profile picture.

RocketPockets · 13/11/2017 07:20

Every so often I change my profile picture on fb to one from my wedding day. It was without a doubt the best day of my life just over 2 and a half years ago and I think I look like myself in the photos which are my absolute favourite photos of me.
I don’t do it to make a statement or anything like that, every so often I fancy a change and choose a photo I like. Quite often it happens to be a wedding one.

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