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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dispute with Neighbours

344 replies

NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 11:24

I'm hoping you can you tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not. This is going to be a long thread, so thank you if you manage to read all of this.

Our small garden backs on to the back of other houses and is divided with a 5 foot high wall. Along the top of the wall grows ivy and other plants and gives our gardens more privacy of another 2 feet or so. There is also a tree from another garden which gives a bit more privacy.

However, we can still partially see the bathroom window of the garden behind us and we often see people going to the toilet. Sometimes these people are naked, but as their glass is a bit frosted we can't see everything in detail. We have noticed people staring at us from that window and on two occasions a naked man has waved at my daughter from that window. I didn't complain because If I complained about everything weird or antisocial that happened in our neighbourhood I'd be on the phone every day. I have complained to the police before about drugs, violence and racial hatred, very extreme things. My daughter comes inside the house if she sees anyone at the window.

So, a year after my daughter we saw a naked man at the window she wrote on our shed wall in chalk 'Put Some Clothes on You Weirdo'. We left it there. The tree and plants have now grown more, so the neighbours wouldn't have been able to see it, until last week.

Last week I came home to find all the plants and ivy hacked down and hanging into my garden. My garden was a mess. Yesterday I went to try and put it back up and immediately the neighbour came to his bathroom window (without clothes) and started aggressively telling me I have to remove all the plants because it would make the wall fall down. The wall is at least 120 years old and shows no signs at all of falling down, it's in perfect condition, I told him this and he said I have to get someone to come and cut it down. He also said "You need to scrub the message off your wall, because you can get done for that". He said the message was obviously aimed at them.

My question is, do I have to remove the plants which give us more privacy? And do I have to remove any chalk messages on our shed wall? I don't think I do, but I'm hoping you can give me more advice on this or if I need to do anything.

I doubt very much that the neighbours care about their landlord's wall. Their garden is a tip filled with beer cans and cigarette ends and they spend their summers playing loud aggressive music, fighting and swearing. Just to give you some idea of what they're like.

Thanks for your help.

OP posts:
NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 19:43

I don't think you've understood anything I've written.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/11/2017 19:44

Maybe you need to have a think about this as the vast majority and saying that yes, you were unreasonable and your obsession with this man in his own bathroom isn't healthy.

NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 19:44

Just from that post alone I would strongly urge you to visit your doctor immediately and tell them about all the 'weird' behaviour you and DD are spotting. You sound deeply unwell and in need of urgent help. Very funny.

OP posts:
Coconutspongexo · 12/11/2017 19:45

It’s weird how you are accusing an awful lot of posters of not understanding you OP

MargaretTwatyer · 12/11/2017 19:53

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NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 20:04

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Sayyouwill · 12/11/2017 20:13

And it’s comments like that that prove you need to grow up

RainbowsAndCrystals · 12/11/2017 20:17

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BabyLionCub · 12/11/2017 20:20

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NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 20:21

So just to sum up all your kind, helpful words - I'm passive aggressive, unhinged, paranoid, a bad mother, bad neighour, immature, in need of medical intervention, a bitch, aggressive, rude.

Anything else you want to add?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/11/2017 20:23

Nope, think that pretty much sums it up.

It's probably what your neighbour thinks of you too.

NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 20:25

My neighbour doesn't know me. The first time I spoke to him was yesterday when he yelled it me about some plants.

OP posts:
RainbowsAndCrystals · 12/11/2017 20:25

Well the statement I made would only be offensive to you if you are a bitch so .... Smile

But yes you summed it up perfectly op. Best and most accurate statement you've made on this thread.

Nicknacky · 12/11/2017 20:26

He might not know you but he will know what you are like with your stupid comments on a shed.

Sayyouwill · 12/11/2017 20:28

@Nicknacky are you a police officer? I’m sure I’ve seen you say you were on other threads... (I do have a follow up question if you are Grin)

Nicknacky · 12/11/2017 20:29

Sure am for my sins!

MargaretTwatyer · 12/11/2017 20:29

I've only called the police for extreme things - violence, abuse and drugs. I've ignored a lot of more minor things. I'm not on the lookout for weird behaviour and I'm not paranoid.

This is what I mean. I will ignore the rest of your rudeness as you are clearly not well.

The fact that you believe you are seeing so much serious stuff that you have to call the police about that you are letting what you believe is less minor stuff go just shows how out of proportion what you are seeing is to reality. I would implore you seek professional hell with this.

NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 20:30

I didn't write the comment on the shed. The comment could have been for anyone in our garden. He assumed it was about him.

I know all the comments that have been directed at me on this thread were for me. I can take it, and you're wrong.

OP posts:
Sayyouwill · 12/11/2017 20:31

In your opinion, does this man sound like a predator? Should OP have reported the ‘nude waving’? Can you actually write passive aggressive messages on your walls if it is intended to offend other people?

Xeneth88 · 12/11/2017 20:31

Nicknacky FlowersWine for all your hard work.

MargaretTwatyer · 12/11/2017 20:31

And people who are paranoid don't usually realise they are.

Nicknacky · 12/11/2017 20:32

Aww thank you xeneth that's kind of you.

NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 20:34

I'll assume you are trying to be helpful Margaret. I don't understand what about my statements makes you think I need professonal help??? I live in an area with lots of antisocial problems. Other people complain about stuff all the time.

OP posts:
NameChanger22 · 12/11/2017 20:35

Most people don't think they are paranoid, most people aren't paranoid. Thinking you're not paranoid does mean you are. Silly statement.

OP posts:
MargaretTwatyer · 12/11/2017 20:36

So why when the police are coming around to deal with this apparent really extreme stuff are they saying nobody else has heard it and complained?

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