Or is this incestuous/perverse?

[RoderickRules]

Man-57
Woman-40

Woman was a child that man knew. Man was an adult. A married man whose wife is related to this child, something like neice. Later, wife is now ex wife, her father dies, Man bumps into this now adult female at ex wife’s fathers funeral (where man is in attendance supporting his 35/33 year old daughters.) now adult female and man decide they would like to persue a sexual relationship.

AIBU to think this is incestuous and perverse?

There is a lot of sexism involved here. Like it's all about the man somehow seducing/tricking the poor innocent woman. They're two adults who are having a relationship. Nobody gets hurt by this so in my eyes this is fine. As people have said....she is 40. There is nothing "predatory" about it

It’s bugging me more that you don’t know how to spell “niece”

I have no issue with the age gap at all and I would find it just as creepy if it was the other way around and she used to be his Aunty.
It’s more that at some point they were put in the ‘younger relative’ box in their head and I find it really disturbing that there’s any way to be flexible about that box.
I mean she was 25 when he broke up with her Aunty so presumably that’s 25 years of being her uncle.

There’s a couple of my Dh’s nephews that even though I’ve only met them a few tiles I would always see them as my nephews even if we split up.

I think the ‘daddy issues’ crap is irrelevant and offensive but that’s got nothing to do with why it would be a no go for me.

Age gap isn’t an issue but the proximity of relations would be for me. My aunt has been divorced a long time. Myself and her ex are both adults but I would be disgusted if he made any advances. It’s just weird

There is a lot of sexism involved here. Like it's all about the man somehow seducing/tricking the poor innocent woman

Not from me. If my DH and I split, I wouldn't consider getting involved with his any of nephews. Even though a couple of them are grown men who I've only met for a handful of times.

Who in the world would shag their ex's sister's child? It's weird. Not "incest" in the technical meaning of the world, but still twisted and weird.