To ask for your comebacks to being asked if I'm a full time mum?

[RemainOptimistic]

Got asked this today in the context of small talk. I couldn't think on the spot so just muttered about going back to work.

What can I say in future? How about "oh why do you ask, are you a part time mum too?" or is that too rude?

ooh, I signed a contract for a new gas company, and put some papers in the tax folder, this must make me lawyer and a tax adviser and accountant! And as I brushed DS's hair, am I a stylist and hairdresser now?

The argument that you are a taxi driver, hairdresser, counsellor, cleaner, nurse etc if you are a parent is stupid.

It's like saying I was a MH nurse when I was a carer for my husband when he was extremely unwell.

The things Minefield listed is what every decent parent does. Working or not. Maybe we don't do it as often as a SAHM does but we all do it.

Which is true, exept that mummy manages 10 times as many people and earns a lot more money.. It's difficult to fight the entire society where the equality is possible in theory, but in practice women's jobs are sill seen as a bit of a pin-money on the side, if they have time left over after family obligations.

Is that because men tend to put their jobs first and let the children (family) know that their work time takes precedence, whereas women tend to put family first and don't use work excuses regarding their families?

I've taken my DS to work and have had to travel and make some adjustments to family life. DS sometimes comments that he understands because I have to earn money to support us.

Hot buttered - so I’m lying about what I (and most of the other working mums I know do)? When my daughter was in primary I did do the school run - dropping her in breakfast club like many other working parents. She was picked up by carers or did after school club - so no, I didn’t do that (ten minutes) at the end of the day. It’s nit that much of a big deal is it ? Homework (when she still needed help with it) was done when she/I got home 6.30/6.45 - so I did that. Then housework/domestic admin was done once dinner cooked/bath done etc - so that’s all the stuff that SAHM should have time to do when kids at school (yes, I am still talking about SAHM if school age children)
I have no choice but to work, but even if I did I still would (I think)
I love my job, I love being a mum and have never, ever once had a wobble about being a working parent.

Well it matters when people are claiming thing to be true that are not when trying to shore up their own feelings of inadequecy, and taking those feelings out on others.

There is plenty of that going around on both 'sides'.

Or people could just stop talking to you full stop
You realise they couldn't give a shiny shit right ?
It's chit chat ffs.

I'm not on either side, I've done both and am now in between as I work part time for the moment.
The lies, the silliness, the goading from each side is equally ridiculous, especially once you finally get it into your head that nobody cares. Only yourself.

I thought this was really honest Yes, and I have a job as well.

That's not honest, that's just goady.

Once mine are in school my life will be a dream if I'm still a SAHM. Most of the housework I spend hours doing is generated by having 3 under 4 at home. I was also talking about SAHP with preschoolers in my comments. A stay at home parent with school age kids has life much easier than a working mum I'm sure.

It's just a nicer way of asking if you're a housewife, isn't it?

Once mine are in school my life will be a dream if I'm still a SAHM

Some of the best years of my life! It was bliss. And yes, you house stays decent until they come home again

A housewife means the same as an SAHM. But people objected to the term so SAHM came into use. Well I and others object to the term full-time Mother so I think it shouldn't be used. Or I might start using Housewife.

You can be a housewife without kids.

Of course years ago you could be a housewife even if you had no children. It simply meant you didn't have a paid job and kept the house for your DH.

To be honest I don't really care what title anyone gives me, call me a housewife if you like. If a woman has made a free choice to stay home and look after the her family herself she shouldn't be ashamed of it.

Of course years ago you could be a housewife even if you had no children. It simply meant you didn't have a paid job and kept the house for your DH

And indeed for yourself. I think I take more pleasure in a clean house than my DH if I'm honest.

It will be a hundred more years till men and women get equal pay, women are now expected to work full or part time and do the majority if not all of the 'wifework'/parenting/domestic duties.
Rather than arguing amongst ourselves about who is more morally worthy out of SAHM or WOHM we ought to be thinking about how women in general can get a better deal to do what they choose and how children are best served by the family and working hours. Fighting among ourselves conveniently detracts from the real issues imo.

A housewife means the same as an SAHM

No it doesn't, because you don't need children for the former, whereas you do for the latter. So they can't be interchangeable. If anything, the former implies you are at home without children.

I prefer the term economically inactive. But who cares what term I like, or you like? We don't get to decide what everyone else says.

I prefer the term economically inactive

I'm not sure economically inactive is accurate either. If I worked full time my husband wouldn't be able to do the job he does. He needs the help at home to bring in the level on income he does.

In not economically inactive - ask the guy at Starbucks. I spend plenty thanks

It is accurate though. The economically inactive are defined as people who are not in employment or unemployed. So they are not working, but they are also not counted as unemployed. They are occupied by things other than paid work.
It literally is what you are according to the government if you are a housewife/sahm/fulltime mother what have you.

Do any SAHMs worry what would happen if you split up. Genuine question. I think it's fine in the short term but imagine if you had to go back into the workplace after 10/15 years at home and pay all your own bills and worry about how you will manage. I think it would be quite terrifying. OK for folk with private means but not everybody has.

I didn't. I expect it depends on your relationship and your financial arrangements.

I never like that phrase. Anyway it's a class issue in the UK! I would never use the word "mum". I have always been mummy.

Is it right to raise your children in a way which you don't consider to be the best for them because there's a chance you will be a single mother some day and your husband could become a tight git and refuse to support your children?

I guess I'm fortunate because I have my own income so it isn't a real concern but I don't know that if give up.on something so important to me because of some what ifs.